Day 147. Can you feel it?

   Today one of the four sisters, Spring, revealed to me some of her blessings. She sent the sun to shine the whole day on a clear sky, birds to sing in the trees and snow to melt here and there:) It was beauuutiful:) Laying in the sun warmed you up and if you closed your eyes you could have sworn it was spring already. 

   Today I was told that I'm silly for taking photos to everything around me and not just to new cities I'm visiting and that photographers in general are rather nuts:P I can't but disagree and call myself a mere dreamer who seeks reasons of happiness everywhere around me. Wouldn't you if you wanted to be happy? Would you rather wait for the big things in your life to let yourself smile? I know I wouldn't:)

Day 146. Mission accomplished

   I always felt the need to help those around me, heal the wounded or at least listen to their problems. I later on found out that's why I'm here, in this world. You know. God gives talents of many sorts and I felt this was going to be mine. Whenever I was able to make sad people happy again, I felt complete. 

   Ever since I wrote my thesis and then, after two more years, my dissertation paper, I wanted to implement the findings of my studies. I was and still am interested in parenting and the prevention of mental illnesses in children/teenagers and my dream that started in college was to make parents aware of the fact that they have to be REALLY careful how they behave with their kids, how and what they teach them in order to become psychologically adapted future adults:) Today I had the chance to do just that and I can't tell you how good it made me feel. 

    It was my first Parent-Teacher meeting:) I had previously introduced myself to all the parents in the kindergarten but that took just about 5 minutes. This time I had a whole hour for a useful talk about parenting. "Will they be interested?" "Will they take notice and change something in their life?" "Will it be useful?" I asked myself before the meeting... And the answer to all those is YES:) I don't know yet if all the parents felt the need to change something in their life because maybe they are awesome parents, but they all seemed interested and loved the meeting (or at least that's what I felt). I am so pleased that we had a friendly, cozy atmosphere that helped all the parents talk about their problems and share solutions that worked. It was just... terrific!:) And we'll do it again in one month!:) Yaaay!:) 

   So this is how my dream came true. And I'm not stopping here:) There are more parents out there who need to find out what being a parent actually involves:) Kids need to grow up happy and well prepared for the irrational beliefs they will face later on in life.

Day 145. Niap

   Pain is like a spoiled adolescent girl. She's so sneaky that she clouds your mind, willing to make you focus only on her and forget everything else. And if you dare trying to ignore her she will grab your hand and she'll squeeze it so hard until you acknowledge her and you'll do everything you can to put her to rest... and she doesn't like to give up easily. 

   I had a terrible headache today... and a cold. Again. For the third time this winter due to working with kids. I couldn't enjoy anything. I just knew I had to work a lot and get through with it by the end of the day. I wasn't able to really pay attention to the small details that usually make my day. Pain... was frustrating and even though I tried not to pay attention to her, she would always come back angrier and angrier until I collapsed. I thought it couldn't get any worse. I wasn't in the mood for anything else but go to bed, sleep and make it go away. But then I changed my mind and I took THE pill. We always take pills. And although some say it's better without, in my case, it's not. Really. The Pill kidnapped Pain after just a few minutes and I could still hear her scream. I knew she wanted back to me but I smiled in victory. I could go back to finishing my presentation for tomorrow. Big day approaching...

Day 144. Freeze

   I wish time would freeze for me in the morning. I'd like to be able to turn it off as you do with a timer and linger under the cozy blanket and when I'm bored of the sheets of my bed and the movies or TV shows that i can watch, then and only then unfreeze time and go back to doing what I have to do that day. 

   Life moves on whether we're ready for it or not and we have to roll with it. Every day I promise myself I would go to sleep one or two hours earlier but I never do it. I barely have any free time after work anyway so going to sleep earlier would only shorten that awesome time of the day... And then it gets harder and harder to wake up in the morning. I wish I drank coffee. Maybe that way I wouldn't go through all this unpleasant situation. But I don't, so I have to keep my thoughts together and find something to motivate myself in order to move. I wish time would freeze for me.

Day 143. Le Petit Prince

     Today was a special day because ... I met The Little Prince:)

   I knew the story before, but I never read it. It seemed way too complicated for me so I just abandoned it for other stories that I could comprehend more easily. This night I had the awesome opportunity to listen to the story on vinyl. I swear, it was the most beautiful experience I had in months:) Laying on a cozy armchair, being surrounded by friends and diving into childhood was exactly what I needed:) That trembling voice, those innocent lines and the whole message caught me completely. Time passed and it felt like a second. I loved it! I embraced it with all my heart. I put it in a special corner of my mind and then decided to keep it there as long as I shall live. 

   I was meant to meet him today. He had to teach me a lesson. The lesson of being responsible for what we tame, the lesson of loving and caring, of how fragile love can be and of how innocent we all are deep down. 

   Returning to innocence can make you feel like you've slept a good night's sleep and then you feel rested, full of life, willing to embrace whatever comes and learn... learn as much as you can, just like The Little Prince. 

Day 142. Go the extra mile

   Most of us are lazy... ok, maybe not every day, but surely from time to time, sometimes as a consequence of too much work done. Nevertheless, being lazy and spending the weekends indoors makes us not enjoy life as much we should.

   Today dad took us to a place we've never been to during wintertime. Even if at first we didn't agree with going outside the city, in the end his idea got to be brilliant. I had new photographic material, we enjoyed the fresh air, walked a little in the snow and bathed in the sun. So it was definitely worth it leaving the cozy home for some hours! 
   In the end I came to a conclusion: I should get out of my comfort zone more often: see my friends even if I'd like to see a movie instead, look for new ideas to surprise the kids during my activities, open up to things that involve a little more effort than usual since the result will always be satisfying:)

          Life's short anyway, so why not enjoy it?

Day 141. Let yourself be surprised

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

   

   Today I woke up to a sea of white. I went to the window and I "wowed" for some seconds:) I loved that bright blanket covering everything even though I didn't see it for the first time this winter.

   I like letting myself be surprised daily by every little detail that stands out, be it a special branch covered in snow, a snowman built by clumsy kids or a ray of sunshine coming in my office. For me these little things brighten up the day.

   I know I'm bohemian but dreaming helps me smile every day and those little daily smiles bring a few more extra minutes, days, months or years to my life... and in the end what can be better than that?:)

Day 140. The good clothes

   This past week I decided to put into practice a quote I've read long ago that said something like "Wear your good clothes now for you don't know the moment when it's going to be too late." It came along with "drink the good wine, go rent that movie you always wanted to watch" and so on. It resonates with the "Carpe diem" saying and it has a profound truth in it. 

   Every day the news is full with accidental deaths and permanent injuries that happen when you least expect. Then why wait for the special holidays of the year to wear your best clothes? I know it sounds rather pessimistic, but I'm taking it this way: If I wait till Christmas, Easter or my birthday to wear that special dress or blouse that I just bought, then my everyday life will be full of the clothes I'm too used to wear but I have to so I will eventually look like just another person who doesn't really want to stand out from the crowd. Well guess what: wearing my good clothes gives me a self esteem boost and it makes me feel more powerful, more beautiful, more womanly. And feeling all that can change your entire day. So, let's choose our clothes wisely and our thoughts even more wisely:

  “You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.”

 Elizabeth Gilbert           

Day 139. Theory vs Practice

   Today I remembered how good everything seems in theory and how different it feels in practice.

   I helped a teacher with a project regarding some psychological cases. It was rather easy finding the diagnosis and the solutions but, now, compared to the years when I was a mere student, everything really looks different than I thought it would. 

   Working as a psychologist is nothing like we picture it in university. I bet it's the same for every job you prepare for and then face later on in life. It doesn't mean I don't like my job, God forbid, it's just that... I had unrealistic expectations, ok? I thought I will make it or break it and frankly, it's really not the case. In the kindergarten the psychologist is more of a teacher's help, a support that strives to protect the well being of the kids. You can't talk to the kids about their irrational beliefs or have them understand the adult talks they prepare you for in university and there are so many factors involved in every case that you can't be sure you DO have a strong beneficial influence in that kid's future:) Oh well, I guess facing reality can have both good and bad consequences: our pink glasses are stolen from us and we have to face the real world by ourselves, make serious decisions that influence our whole future but still get to be happy if we make the right ones.

   Dear students, just know that your job won't be as you expect it to be but that it's still gonna be AWESOME if you make it that way:) Finding reasons to love your job means finding sense and significance in your life and that, my friends, is what we all need in order to have a healthy life:)

Day 138. Ladies room

   Today I put into practice what I had in mind for a while now: a photo catalog of my wardrobe so I can choose my daily outfits better:) I didn't have time to go through everything but the blouses alone made me think I have more things than I thought I do (how obvious for women, right?) BUT this only because the things I'd considered never to wear in my life are now appropriate for the roles I have at almost 25:) From my experience I learned we should never throw something that looks out of fashion! It will be back in fashion in no time and you can always combine it with something IN and still make it look like you:) I had plenty of occasions to say "I'd never wear that" and want to throw it away but thank God I didn't because I feel this is the right time to be the one I've always wanted to be, to blossom and be me in my wholeness:) Maybe it's just hormones, but now more than ever I feel I want to explore my feminine side. Until this age I was a teenager, a student studying to become someone, always in the search of my true identity, trying out clothes and styles. Now I know: I'm a dreamer and a child at heart so when I think of that I see pastels, flowers, ruffles, lace and  polka dots, pretty pretty pendants with clocks and bows and all the things I never had the money to buy. Now I'm a working class woman. Now I can! Yum, I can't wait to get my project started and use all my "oldies but goodies" wardrobe wonderland:D

Day 137. Now and then

   When I left the block where I live my whole body told me it was going to be a good day. I looked at the sky, inhaled the fresh morning air and I knew. I just knew that something good was going to happen. I believe in premonitions you know. They might not be very scientific and I don't often feel them, but when they happen, they are real. I lost my camera after I had a premonition and today was going to be just like I expected it to be.

   I started the workday visiting some kids. Their teacher was just organizing their portfolios containing collages, drawings and paintings. She told me the parents will receive them at the end of the school year. That made me think of how amazing it must feel when the kid grows up and you show him/her this portfolio that you hid well in a box under the bed. How funny will it be to remember childhood through some scribbles, how cute will it be when the parent will start telling stories about how he/she was at the age of 3. Then I suddenly asked myself: "Where are MY works? Where are MY scribbles? I don't remember much of anything from what I liked back then or how I used to draw or paint when I was in kindergarten. I only remember that pink and green go well together and I still use that thought":) So that's how I decided. I will definitely keep all my child's works from kindergarten. I will buy a biiiig box with flowers on top and I will pile them in there and when the kid is a teen who thinks his parents don't understand him, I'll open that box and start telling him the story of how much a mother loves her child. That was my first moment of happiness for today.

   The day went by and as the hours passed I went to meet my best friend in the mall. Surpriiiiise! She brought her grandma with her:) I love her granny! She's very talkative and funny and she likes being surrounded by people. So we sat down in a cafe and started chatting about life, work, people and how the beginnings are always tough, how a woman should be independent before marrying and how friends should stick together no matter what. She's a fountain of wisdom and I always love listening to her stories and life experiences. We then went shopping together (yes, I lost the last Temptation game) and found some AMAZING things that made my day, some little pieces of me waiting to be found and picked up:) Granny was awesome at giving advices. She was young right there, with us, having fun watching us try on clothes and commenting on how teenagerish or womanly those made me look like:) She's awesome and I love spending time with her! I felt tonight was another one of those "movie moments" I feel from time to time. 

   So this is how some people or things can change a regular day into something worth remembering:) In the end, I was right. It was a terrific day:)

Day 136. The hunger games

   Life's so tough to keep up with. I wish I would just stop needing stuff and reach a continuous inner peace where feelings not objects are the ones leading my life. That would be me reaching nirvana. Oh how I long for that!

   When you end up satisfying one need, Maslow's pyramid reminds you there is always something ELSE you need and then you end up being "hungry" again... always craving for something. If you have food and shelter, then you aspire towards a good job, a stable romantic relationship or peace within your family. When you have ALL these, you take a step further and you begin needing to be appreciated by the others and be confident. And how do you achieve that? By wanting a make-over. If you're a woman it all becomes very tangled up since you seem to need so many things to make you feel confident. I envy guys, really. They don't even care so much what they're wearing and they don't need earrings, rings and make-up stuff. Don't get me wrong. I love searching for the right "little pieces of me" out there and having that perfect wardrobe that would represent me well. The thing is that our roles continually change. From being a pupil you become a student and then you start working. You feel you grow up and you have different needs. Thus you want to change things around you. And that involves money:) In a consumerist society where you find something on sale at every step, you'll always feel hungry. In the given circumstances, maybe the best option is escaping in the wild... but we all know that's not a viable idea. So I think we have to face the world we're living in and move along with it while playing "The Temptation game" and trying to win from time to time. I have a feeling I'm gonna lose this one. Who knows, maybe I'll win the next.

Day 135. Breaking down

 

   Today I felt like I was kidnapped and taken to an entirely new place for me, a foreign country with a language and culture rather different from mine. And then I was told I had to get back home on my own while Big Brother was watching. I felt lonely in a crowd, hopeless and scared of everything that new country meant to me. I felt it would be really hard to get to talk to people, make them understand my needs and then find a way to get back home safe. And all this because of a new computer with the ultimate Windows version on it, new PC monitor and new keyboard which weren't working properly. 

   Unfortunately, I'm a conservative person. I don't like this about me, but at least I acknowledge it. The thing is that I like to discover things that work for me and then use them as much as I can or until I get bored of them. If I know a certain label is the best for me then it's gonna be hard for you to make me give up on it, although I like experimenting from time to time (with shower gels or other hygiene products). So you can get a hang of how I felt when my brother took everything I once had and gave me a bunch of new stuff that would supposedly make my life easier. He wasn't patient enough to help me adjust to all these things, so it was hard to make him understand I have different needs than he does and that maybe I just want to stick to some things I already know... 
   So the people in the new country were rather indifferent, passing by like nothing happened while I was crying alone, in a corner. And then a man came closer and helped me get back home. It was my boyfriend. 

  

Day 134. Mistakes

   People make mistakes. And then they learn from them. Our mistakes make us who we are at the present. They teach us good lessons like paying more attention and being more careful about planning and making decisions. They are the experience that separates us from the newbies.

   Today I took the wrong bus... for the third time in my life. I thought I had learned my lesson by now, but being impatient has its costs. This other bus led me a little farther away from home. During my walk I thought that if I had simply looked back I could have taken the right bus. A second of attention would have saved me. It could have been worse though (a fine included) so I'm happy it wasn't. I know this might have been life's way of showing me I still have to work on being patient... again and again and again until it's there, inside me and it's me who's controlling it and not the reverse. So I decide to take another step towards it and open my eyes next time. Let's see how that's gonna go.

"Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it." 

Kevyn Aucoin 

Day 133. Unexpected gifts

    The unexpected gifts are the most awesome of them all:) They're so much better than birthday gifts because they show you there are people out there thinking about you when you least expect. And those are the friends who really care about you, who'd sacrifice themselves for you. They are the real friends, the ones you should keep, the ones you should look out for and spend your time with. 

   They say that when you give, you will receive. It's funny how that literally happened these days. The other day my boyfriend and I bought his mom the Hunger Games trilogy. I wanted to do that for a while knowing that she wanted it so badly... and in a fortunate circumstance of events we found the right moment:) She didn't see it coming and that's precisely what made her enjoyed it so much:) 

   Today, my brother and I received some awesome chocolate (Nestle Noir Fins Plaisirs) we wanted for a long time. A friend from a different city found it in a store, filled a box with it and immediately sent it to us:) How thoughtful is that? So this made me realize that unexpected gifts are good to be paid forward because in the end giving is more satisfying that receiving:) So let's give more! Let's make people happy!:)

Day 132. If it's winter

   ...then we should see some snowflakes around... if not outside at least indoors:) The kids and I had a great time today making snowflakes. As we were folding the paper they were eagerly waiting to see the result and after the snowflakes were done they were amazed by the variety of the shapes. I then told them a little story about people being like snowflakes: simmilar but unique, special and important. That's why we should appreciate one another, love one another and stop judging the others for how they look. Beauty comes from within and that's what we should focus on:) 

Day 131. Am I being trolled?

   Romanians have many proverbs. One of them says that "Trouble never comes alone." Well guess what. The other day the mouse from the pc at work wasn't working. Today, after fixing that, the pc monitor wasn't working. And it seems pretty serious. Then, I brought home my Christmassy stuff from my office and I found out one of the decorations got broken. 

   Am I the only one thinking that I'm being trolled? It's like the universe is messing with me and my patience, testing my irrational beliefs and seeing how I'm taking it. Well, at first I got pissed but then I tried to calm myself down thinking that everything can be fixed. Precisely when I was thinking about that I found this quote and decided to take notice. 

"When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it
define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you." - Unknown.

   So in the end I let my "trouble experience" strengthen me and I'm proud of it:) I feel I'm on the right way towards wisdom:)

Day 130. Hugs and kisses

Dear diary,

   The winter holiday has passed and today Dana came to visit us. We know it was her first day back to school work and she might have wanted to stay home longer, but boy were we happy to see her! When she entered the room we were drawing in our special notebooks and we didn't even notice her but then the teacher said "Look, kids, Dana came to see you!" and we turned our eyes to her and greeted her with a biiiig smile and we even said "Hello, Danaaaa, how are youuu?" Then she came around the tables and helped us color inside some weird shapes the teacher called "fir tree", "sleigh" and "table". One of the girls asked Dana if her drawing was correct and Dana told her she also has to color the table's legs. How funny was that! We didn't even know the table has LEGS like we do:) 

   Then, we all watched some cartoons with Mr. Bean chasing a fly. Dana was describing what was happening in the cartoons and that helped us undestand it better and it also made it funnier. We laughed a lot! 

    After this, Dana told us some beauuuutiful stories with the help of some stuffed animals she held in her arms. They were so many: Dumbo the elephant, Chiţ-Chiţ the mouse,  Tommy the teddy bear, 2 rabbits and then I forget. She told us about how we have to behave in the kindergarten and that if we obey the teacher and if we behave well everyone will want to play with us and we will have many friends. So we wanted to show Dana how much we already love each other and we all hugged and she took us a photo! We think it's veeeery nice!

    Dear diary, you should know we love Dana very much as well! Since she came into our classroom some of us hugged her and kissed her all day! We missed her and we like it when she comes and plays with us! She's our big sister!:)

   This is what happened today and we wanted to write this so we wouldn't forget. How are you, by the way, dear diary? 

                Write soon,

Love,

The kids from "Grupa Mică C"

Day 129. Happiness is a state of mind

   Today I woke up with a smile on my face. I went to the window, I opened it and I let myself inhale the cool morning air. The house was very quiet and that meant my parents and my brother were still asleep so I decided to linger there for some minutes. "I loooove chilly, sunny mornings!" I told myself while smiling:) Then, all of a sudden it came to me: "Happy people live longer. Everything depends on our happiness. If we can be happy no matter how wealthy we are and no matter the job we have, then our life is great! So in the end why worry about the future if I'm happy just the way I am now and everything I have to do is preserve this state of mind? If we're rather happy people then we can solve our problems easier because we tend to be optimistic. Happiness gives us the resilience we need in order to actually live longer". The psychologist in me is never asleep:) 

   And so, a good day began:) The day that was going to bring me high levels of adrenaline associated to surprising shopping including the much awaited new pc monitor and then the new pc that I wanted:) So I guess happiness brings more happiness with it! Thus, I choose to stay happy as long as I can and I also want to bring happiness in the life of the others around me:D Yay for happiness!:D 

Day 128. Improvise

   Many of the inventions that make our life easier nowadays were discovered by mistake or because people improvised. Don't be afraid to let your imagination solve your problems for you. Choose to be creative when you're stuck! 

   I needed a knife today but nobody heard me so I used a spoon instead. The banana slices were surely good enough for the pancakes as they were:) Problem solved, yummy food, happy people:)

Day 127. Girls just wanna have fun

   Today I have a reason to be proud of myself: I didn't buy anything from the mall except for some almonds (which are good for your health). This might sound like "Hello, I'm Dana, and I haven't been a shopaholic for 4 months now." Well no. I'm not a shopaholic, but girls know how hard it is to keep it just to window shopping:) January's the Winter Sales month and when you have money, you tend to spend it. Some spend it wisely, girls... sometimes have the tendency to act on their instinct and afterwards they might have the "student syndrome" - when you find out you're short on money and have to live in scarcity until next month. Nevertheless, it wasn't my case today. 

    My best friend and I had a lot of fun while browsing some shops for accesories but at the end of it we took the most rational decision lately: we can live without the things that were on sales. We didn't feel like spending money on cheap things that we weren't in love with. So we took the way to the Food Court and enjoyed a dinner that made me remember how heaven must feel like. 

   At the end of the day we both concluded that we'd rather spend our money on books than earrings... for now.  

Day 126. Powerful

   Today I let myself go with the flow. I met my best friend and we indulged ourselves while doing what girls know to do best: shopping:) I bought some new jeans, a coffee Yves Rocher shower cream (yum!) and some other stuff, I visited an amaaaazing home decoration store (Home etcetera - Chic Ville - photos below) and I went home more powerful than ever because I had the money to buy some things for myself, some things that will remind me how pretty and powerful I am. 

   Later on I talked to a dear friend who made me remember how important it is to be kind to others:  "Be good. if you can't be good, be careful." he said using a quote from "Naked" (1993), the movie. It's kindness what people need. Not rudeness. Not madness. But kindness. Let's be kind to the others around us and if not that, at least not spread the bad energy around us. Life's tough either way.

 

[Photos from the internet because I thought it wouldn't have been nice of me to start taking photos randomly in their store. Also, sorry, I don't know the author.]

  

Day 125. Love is...

   "Love is like riding or speaking a foreign language. If you don’t learn it young it’s hard to get the trick of it later." 

   So dare to love and spread the feeling to everybody around you! Make sure you tell your dear ones how much you love them from time to time. One day it might be too late. 

   One of my favourite characters from Downton Abbey just died. But he had the chance to hold his newborn baby, kiss his wife one last time and tell her how much he loved her. Dreadful end, but it reminded me I have a mission to continue and so do you. Every one of you. So let's share the love:)

Day 124. New beginnings

   I used to be afraid of new beginnings because I was accustomed to what I previously had and I hardly wanted to let go. But not anymore. Now I'm confident that I can (partly) control the doors I'm opening because I know who I am and what I can do. I trust myself and I know I'm free to close the doors to the rooms I don't fancy and open some new ones. 

   Birds are always on the run. They always travel and maybe they even go to new places from time to time but they're never afraid. They know that somehow they will find food and shelter. They trust their skills and we should trust our skills too. Life will be so much easier this way:)

Day 123. Life is like a book

   

   Sometimes we feel we've got so much time that we don't know what to do with it and we end up being bored because nothing seems good enough. But most of the times we feel time's running through our fingers and there's nothing we can do to stop it. 

   Today melancholy caught me gently. It made me think about life passing before my eyes just like a book that's read so fast and then, when you least expect, it's over and everything stops from existing. Why are be born if we're all to die someday? What's our purpose here? As a friend used to say: what's the point of living if after two or three generations nobody calls your name anymore and when the Earth is to be distroyed, everything mankind created will fall into oblivion? So, what's our point here? To grow up, make mistakes, learn from them and reproduce? There must be something more than that. What is it? And why were you born before me? Why was I born here? My life could have been totally different... but do I really want a different life? No. I don't. I'm happy like this. Maybe this is our purpose here: to be happy and the universe conspires to create happy destinies. We're destined to be happy, aren't we? We just have to open our eyes and believe it. Everything else will happen naturally.

Day 122. I choose you

   Today while watching Minority Report someone said something that made me ponder: "You don't choose the things to believe in. They choose you." I think it sounds mighty interesting. 

   Since we're born we have many years ahead of us to walk in this beautiful life which looks just like a crowded and colorful market. We wander around, look to the left and to the right, walk some more and then, whenever we see something we like, we stop and gaze and we want to own that thing. Then we buy it and we use it for a while but after some time we get bored of it and never use it again and when we least expect, that very market offers something we'll use for the whole life, something that calls us, something that chooses us. 

   You know how much I love dogs. No matter if I will ever own one or not, I'll always smile whenever I see a little ball of fur looking at me with his cute puppy eyes. I know there are so many animals out there, but you could say I'm a magnet for dogs. They look my way and approach me right away. We have a strong connection, a good vibe.  Regarding the things to "believe" in, well there you have it: I believe in dogs' way of being friendly, joyful, faithful and sooo lovable and maybe that's exactly what drew me to them. So in the end I guess we chose each other:) And what a beautiful feeling it is:)

Day 121. When life gives you lemons

   ... you make lemonade, right? Well, what do you do when life turns off the electricity? You take a romantic bath and read a good book in the candle light:) Exactly what I did today. I didn't freak out when the power went off. I smiled and "I made  myself a lemonade"... and what a relaxing day I had:) The thing is that whenever something unexpected and uncontrollable happens to us, we react just like after pressing "the red button". Does that help us in any way? Sometimes we take it as a challenge and solve the problem. Other times we stress out and enter the denial phase. These are the times when we should calm down, breathe and solve the puzzle the best way we can in the given situation. Was life so bad before electricity? Of course it wasn't. Could people still live, enjoy life, love and be happy without it? Of course! Just look at the people in Downton Abbey TV show. They seem pretty stable themselves:) 

   In another train of thoughts, today I decided my Christmas tree's time has passed so I took down the decorations from the tree and said goodbye to everything related to Christmas. I know some people keep it longer but I felt it had to be today. I realized the Christmas tree without Christmas is just like a tree without leaves. As I took the Christmas balls from the branches I thought about making a list with all the decorations that I put on it. Guess how many there were. 221. Yes. You read it right. It seems a lot, doesn't it? I could have used 10 or 20 more though:) For the next tree I have around 45. 176 decorations left to buy:) I can't waaaait! I even made a "sneak peek" photo for the next December's tree:D 

   So, in the end, whenever life gives you lemons, instead of crying or pouting, remember: Santa's still coming to town next December!;)

Day 120. No coincidences

   

   In the book I'm reading lately a police inspector said that "there is no such thing as coincidence". In the world of crimes he might be right. It's not the first time I hear this expression though. Some say that whenever we meet someone we know on the street or have the same thought as somebody... it's supposed to happen like that. I tend to agree because I believe in "everything happens for a reason". On the other hand, I know some people believe in a universe where everything's made by chance and where our decisions shape our future, but what if that very day I have to meet that very person who changes my life? Or remind me I have to do something? Or invite me to the theatre and that play changes something in my life? What if from time to time we make a big, rational decision without knowing that it's exactly the one we have to make to get to a certain spot and learn a certain lesson? What if there's a girl called Destiny who's reading us the story of our life as we live it? It might be like this: we make our own decisions but we get to the place we are destined to just like having the chance of climbing a mountain through various paths but reaching the same top no matter the path we follow:) 

   I wouldn't mind having a preset of my life because that would only organize me better. I like bringing color to it through my own ways and still going where I have to go, learn the lessons that we all have to learn and reach that final point wisely. If the destiny thing would be real, I just wonder: why is it that some people are allowed to live longer and others so little? In the end, is it our decisions that bring us our death or was it written to be like this? Maybe the answer lies somewhere in the middle. 

Day 119. To know or not to know

   ... THAT is the question! I saw "Now is good" today. It was about a girl who was going to die because of leukemia and as you would expect she had a list of things she wanted to do before dying. As I watched the movie I thought: "Would it be better to know that you're going to die or would it be better for it to happen so fast that you don't acknowledge it?" Up until today I thought I wanted to know. It was all about having time to prepare myself and the others and do all the things I wanted to but never had time/guts/money. But after seeing this movie and all the pain knowing involves, I don't know if I want to know anymore. I don't think I want to do all the things from a list I'd make and then, at the end of every day that brings me closer to the end, realize the ending and cry to sleep. I think this movie changed me and it wan't even an excellent one. It just made me realize I want something else. By now I did everything I dreamed to do, my people know me and I tell them I love them very often, I am at peace with myself and the world... so I'd rather not know. If I knew, I'd have to struggle, to fight for life and I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I have enough power inside me. So it's better if I don't know or feel it coming... though maybe in some years I will change my mind:)

Day 118. Passions that rescue us

   No, the title isn't about a situation in which I was rescued by a passion of mine:) It's about the fact that no matter what passion we have be it collecting or doing something, it rescues us from being bored and without purpose. Our passions open up roads and give us perspectives. Many times they also help us expand our social network. Isn't it interesting to know that you're not the only one having that passion, that you can share ideas about it with someone? 

   At the bottom of my passion for calendars is my other passion for photography. Whenever I go in a supermarket at the end/beginning of the year, I head for the calendars section and stare at the variety of colors and shapes that stand in front of me. Then, I pick my favourite ones and turn the pages softly while gazing at the beautiful photos chosen for each month. After I finish doing this I usually want to buy all of the ones I looked at but I don't afford that so I pick just one: the best one. And then I go home happily just like a kid after receiving a candy:) 

   My calendars bring sunshine to my gloomy days. They give me hope and will to go on because of the beautiful world they reveal through photography or written messages. For me they're like therapy:) So in the end my passion saves the day:)

Day 117. Life is a game of Scrabble

   My friends and I played Scrabble today. It was mighty interesting to find words linked to the others' and still make them long enough to get as many points as you can though sometimes you can't because you only have vowels. Then it came to me: "life's just like a Scrabble game. We depend on others and we have to strive to be the best in what we do. There are times when we're down and we think we can't move on and times when we shine and we're proud of ourselves." 

   I think the best part about life is that every day is different even if it might look just like the previous one. Every day there's a new beginning, we can make a change and be a better version of ourselves, we can learn from our mistakes and upgrade ourselves:) But all this is up to us. Life's not just happening, it influences us and we interpret it... often in the wrong ways. So let's be more careful and less judgemental:)