Sunday, June 30, 2013

Day 297. The gift that keeps on giving

Receive and give away

   We're all here with a purpose. Not only to enjoy the gifts we're receiving and live a happy life, but also to pay it forward and help people around us. Not because we have to, but because we want to be good and make the world a better place. 
   How do we do that? Help without expecting anything in return. Help for the sake of seeing people happy. Prove that there's more to life than money and power.
   It might sound hard to accomplish it but if we truly believe in this quest, nothing is too big. You know what they say, when there's a will there's a way:) And in the end, what goes around comes around.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Day 296. Rain aftermath

Sunny raindrops

   Isn't life a continuous sequence of sun and rain? Interestingly, the sun always shines after the rain. No matter how furious the storm, how many problems it causes or how many problems you cause yourself. 

   Story of my life:


   So the storm and I mingled today and we elaborated more problems than we should have. 


   And now that the sun rose I'm trying to figure out which are the real ones and which I have invented and after I'll be done with it the night will come and tomorrow will be another perfect day for making up other problems. It's what I'm best at... And I hate it.
   I wish it would just stop and I could turn off my emotions whenever I feel like. Can I do that? Pleaaaaase?

Friday, June 28, 2013

Day 295. Broken

Fix me

   Today I realized how broken I am... aren't we all? And as much as I don't want to depend on people, that's just how we're built: we need someone who's patient enough to stick around us and gently give us back to ourselves fixing all our broken pieces so that afterwards we can go and fix somebody else until we all paid it forward. 
   It's funny how we're all patients and doctors in the same time. And it's even funnier how the fixing process happens. Sometimes we're so stubborn in not wanting to be fixed but we want to fix them all around us so they would match our pattern. But can we really change every unique being into something just like us? 
   So we should better accept them as they are and fix them when they ask for it. And finally let ourselves be fixed. In the end, we're all broken, aren't we?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Day 294. Getting started

At the beginning of the road

   ... is always tough. Most starts are full of anxiety and lack of motivation. At least the ones when you know you gotta learn 500 pages by heart in a month. Yeah, it sounds like a lot of time, but when procrastination is your best friend, well... it's kinda hard to make it work:) 
   There's an age when you just can't study like you used to. That age when you'd rather work than study. The age of maturity. Sounds so final but I guess it's true. It's been 20 years since I started learning stuff so I guess my brain wants some rest. But you know what they say, if you gotta do it, you gotta do it. 
   So here I am starting to study. At first my mind goes "squirrel" every 5 minutes and I even catch myself daydreaming now and then but...


   ... so everything has a purpose I guess:) 

   My lesson today: The start is always tough but once you've started to walk/run/study, it's not that bad after all. Until it's way too much. But that's why breaks were invented:) So use them wisely;)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Day 293. Inspirational

ikebana in an egg shell

   Summer vacation is a paradox to me. So much awaited and still full of boredom moments when you lose interest in everything and you just wish you could go back to working the whole day like you used to. 
   I felt that way yesterday. But today I realized that in all those weird moments that seem painful and endless, there is hope. Life in general is not boring, we're just focusing on the wrong things: watching the wrong Tv Shows, doing the wrong activities, depending on people to make us happy. 
   So what should we do? Switch our focus on the right thing. All we have to do is find a motivator. If we discover something appealing, then the whole day is saved. And inspiration comes from the little things. Just close your eyes and think: what would you wanna do? Where would you wanna be? What can you do with what you have around you? You have no idea? Ask somebody. See what others do. Maybe an idea will pop up from there. 
   Just... don't give up! You can turn your day from boring to amazing in no time:)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Day 292. The hunch

Follow your instinct

   There are those times when you have a hunch about something. And then there are two possibilities: you either follow it and everything's ok or you ignore it and later on realize it was true. Today I decided not to follow my instinct. And of course I was wrong:) 
   The worst case is when these kinda hunches are life saving and we still decide they might not be true. It's funny how we can't trust the inexplicable, that inner voice that tells us what's going to happen. In the end, we all know the best thing to do is listen to it because it might be one of those rear times when we're wise without knowing:) 
   So, lesson learnt!:) Next time, I'm following my hunch no matter what!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Day 291. To be or not to be afraid

be brave

   From time to time we want something really bad but we're afraid to go get it because something might intervene and the odds might not be in our favor. So we back off and wait for the proper time to make our move and finally get where we want. But when will that day come if we keep postponing it?:) 
   It was a moody day today but my family and I chose to defy it. We went for a picnic even if we knew there was a high chance it would rain. It was already noon and that's a late hour for a picnic, but we left knowing that we wanted to have a good time in nature and so we did. We found our spot and spent some relaxing hours without even a single drop of rain. I even found some amazing photographic material:) 
   So, I'm asking you now: Would my day had been better if we had chosen to fear the rain and stay at home? 

   Whenever you want something, the right time to go get it is NOW!:)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Day 290. The sour piece of cake


   Today I remembered how tricky some things can be. It's that moment when you think: "Ah, this is gonna be a piece of cake" and that's exactly when you're mistaken. Be it an exam, homework, a house chore or improvising a mosquito net. 
   It took us the whole day. A lot of sweat and frustration. Doing and undoing what we did. But in the end I learned my lesson: "Be patient and take things one by one. Don't rush or plan ahead. Life is yet to happen so just focus on the here and now."

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Day 289. The choice of feeling lonely


   That awkward moment when you want to go to a music festival but there's nobody to go with. 
   Most of my friends are studying for finals and the others are doing something else. So what now? Choose to go there alone and feel weird surrounded by couples or groups or stay at home and feel weirder for not going since you want it so much? Choices like this one make my life complicated. Thank God for the rain that made my choice easier:) 
   See? Sometimes we need external forces to choose for us. Sometimes we're just not strong enough to say "I want this. And I will get it no matter what." And it's weird because...


   So next time I'll follow my instinct and stop depending on people. Next time I'll choose ME.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Day 288. Happy end


  During all my childhood I loved fairy tales because they all had their happy ending no matter how difficult the journey was. Well, today I got my happy ending too.
   It was my last day of work in this school year. It's been a full one. Ups and downs and then ups again. I remember that last September I started my first year of work being full of excitement. And then I was afraid that I wouldn't know how to handle some unpredictable situations. But slowly I learned all that and much more. 
   At first I thought I'd be a mini god with so much power to use. But as the months passed I realized I had unrealistic expectations:) Only 10% of what I learned in university would help me in practice. Oh the joy of discovering that!
   But all in all, after making mistakes and learning from them, after so many activities with the kids, today I stepped in a class for the last time this year and the kids all gathered around me hugging me. They were sooo cute especially because they wouldn't normally do that so I wanted to make sure. I asked them what that meant and they said "We love you!!!" So, if this is how my first year of work ended, I'd say it's definitely a Happy End. 

   To many more happy endings!:)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Day 287. Wishing out loud

wish out loud

"Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it"

   It's not the first time it happens to me. And even though, each time I'm more and more surprised and can't figure out how this works. I simply wish for something and I get EXACTLY what I wanted. German precision:) The thing is that today nothing bad happened but ... who knows what's next? From my experience, a mere wish can turn into a bloody mess. I guess I was lucky today:)
   My best friend simply wished for something too. And she got the awesome outcome of the saying. Because now she'll enjoy her "oh-so-wished" thingie without even hoping it would ever get true. 
   So, yeah, wish out loud, but think about it first!:) You never know...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Day 286. The compromise


   There are people out there who have no problem with making any sort of compromises. 
   Well, they make me feel insecure. Because I never know if I made the right choice or not. And sometimes making a compromise means you didn't have another option. You wished it would have been your way, but everybody knew there was no other way out. So you went on accepting something you didn't agree with because life had to go on and you wanted things to be OK. And in the end they were, but was it worth it? Doing things differently for the sake of ignorant others? 
   The world would be a better place if everybody did what they were told to. But where would be the thrill if things always happened that way? :)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Day 285. That time of the year

Summer heat

   Here we are again. It's that time of the year once more. The time when it's too hot outside to bear. So hot that you wish it would just rain on you till you soak it all up. So hot that you can't think properly and you're not in the mood to do anything. Yep, that's the downside of summer when even time seems to dilate from all this heat. And you can't wait for it to be over. 
   So why not wait for the night to fall and enjoy the upside of summer? After all, every bad thing has an ending. Wait and see. Everything fades away in the end. Even the unbearable heat:)

Monday, June 17, 2013

Day 284. Somewhere I belong


   Every now and then I find myself some place where I belong. The kind of place you want to go back to until you've breathed it all in. The kind of place that reminds you who you are and what you're longing for. 
   This beautiful one reminded me how much I love summer evenings... the calm of the lake, the frogs performing their usual mating concert, the little insects dancing in the cool sunset light and the loved one by my side. This place just screams Perfection. And today I've had my share of perfection therapy. It was just me, my dear one and the lake. No worries, no noises, no nothing. Just us:)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Day 283. The untiring search

the untiring search

   Life is a journey of an untiring search for what we want. We search and search and at some point we find something that makes us feel comfortable. So then we settle for it and stop searching. 
   Today I learnt that a beautiful place shouldn't be the first option to settle for. There's always a more beautiful place that I haven't seen and that's worth going the extra mile for. 
   
   My lesson for today:
  Don't settle for comfortable! Push your limits and search for something that makes you feel more than that! Something wow. Because there's a whole world out there that awaits to be discovered and enjoyed. So why settle for the the first comfortable thing?


Saturday, June 15, 2013

Day 282. Lesson learnt


   Building a house is a tough job that takes years, yet a strong wind can shake it in a matter of seconds. 
  How do you react to it? Do you watch it shred your house to pieces then say there's nothing you can do to undo the damage or do you wait for it to pass then try your best to mend what was broken and take it as a lesson to be learnt?
   The wind comes from time to time. It has to. That's its job. But there's always something you can fix after it passes. It's your choice if you want to do it or not but if you just walk away at the first sign of strong wind you lose the house you built with a lot of hard work and passion. And you don't want that, do you? So be patient and let the storm pass, but never give up. In the end it's the house of your dreams, right? The one worth fighting for. So go back and rescue it.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Day 281. Dream on


   As humans we all daydream. Some more than others. But one thing's for sure. We all want that thing we can't achieve unless an exterior factor comes in the equation. And when we expect less, we see our dream turn into reality. And then it all seems more than we can bear. Unreal and amazing. 
   Everything has its right time. I said it before. Just don't give up on your dreams. Keep them in a special drawer and take them out when opportunity arises. That's what I'm doing now:)

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Day 280. How to make us happy


   Happiness is easily achievable when you're a child or an artist. 
   As a child all you need is a bit of attention from a grown up or from fellow children. It's not even important to give them a gift, they're thrilled if you show them you want to spend time with them doing what they like, if you ask for their opinion and you make them feel important. Oh, and they love being taken photos:) They all crowd around you and say "Pick me, pick me":) 
   As an artist, all you need to be happy is good light for your photos, an amazing scenery or a wild model. Or just a plain sunny day. 
   More than ever, I feel that this sunny day is feeding me all my happy thoughts. I don't even have to try to be happy. It all comes naturally when it's sunny outside:) It's like the birds are chirping more, the colors are brighter and I can see all the shades of green I couldn't see during the 20 days of rain. I wish it would just last forever. No matter the season. A forever sunny weather. It may even rain or snow or the wind might blow, but I want the puffy clouds and the sun. I need it so much! 
   If you want to make me happy, give me a warm hug and a sunny day. Best present ever!:)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Day 279. Great expectations


   It was one of those mornings when you wake up more tired than you went to sleep. I wanted to just curl in my bed all day, sleep and watch something, read my book or sing. But instead I had to go to work. 
   At some point today I realized that every day of our life is based on expectations. Not the "looking forward to" feeling. No. We expect something to happen. We plan it that way. And if it doesn't turn out the way we want it, we become frustrated thinking that they are all the ones to be blamed when, instead, our thoughts are the wrong variable in the equation. I realized that if I just stepped back and let myself disengage from the expectations that aren't achieved or better yet, from any kind of expectations and I just take life as it comes minute by minute, everything seems brighter around me. I actually tried it and not only that I wasn't sad anymore, I could actually focus on something else. Something much more important. And in the end this is what saves us. Being able to shift our attention from things that are uncertain to things we know for sure. 
   Another big issue comes to surface when we expect something to happen but an exterior factor turns everything down. What do we do then? Do we become frustrated again or do we use all our resources to change our plans? It's up to us. Our whole life is up to us. It's exactly like they say it: Life isn't complicated. We complicate it giving it all sorts of wrong interpretations and over analyzing it. So let's be "expectless" and take it as it comes. Minute by minute:)

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Day 278. Dilemma


   Life is a series of paradoxes. All waiting to be lived. Again and again.
  When we're little we depend on our parents for everything. Even if we don't realize it then we take all the information they send towards us, willingly or not. And so we somehow become mini versions of them (try thinking about it before saying a definite "not true!"). After that, when we reach teenage years we suddenly want to be independent and take life in our own hands. We feel misunderstood and neglected by the same parents who covered us in their affection all those previous years. Weird, huh? Further on, as we grow older we give birth to other types of dependencies and it turns out we're never actually as independent as we want to believe. Yeah, we state it out loud, but deep down we each have our own issue we want to get rid of. Can we, really? No matter how hard we try, it will haunt us forever. It's the dependence our parents instilled in us. It's what they did wanting us to be perfect and forgetting to let us be "ourselves". 


   So in the end, is it really MY life? Or is it a repeated sequence of the same life changed in a chapter or two? Are we the reminiscent life of the ones before us? 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Day 277. When 10 years seem like 10 minutes


   It's been 10 years since Julia and I have started being best friends. Ten beautiful years in which we were at first desk mates during high school. 
   Then we each took a different road at the University during Bachelor and Master degree. Last year we both began working in different fields but our bond was always strong even if people around us thought it would fade away. It didn't. Because we're two of a kind. Two pieces of the same puzzle. And no matter how much you try to keep one piece from the other, they will always find their way together:)
   I love you, dear and as weird as it sounds, I want to grow old with you and then when we're senile, be new friends just like that card said:)

From today's date:
Julia: "Heeeey, pretend your name is Mihai today." she says happily while giving me a Coke with that name on it.
Me: Taking a serious look and shaking hands: "Hello. I'm Mihai".
Julia: "Uhm... hello... Ok, this is weird.


   And then there are all the silly role plays in the rain, the laughter over jokes from 9gag, the Jane Austen movies we watched together, all the books loved and borrowed and all the Viva Chips we bonded over. 

   We've always done all the big things together. So it's gonna be the same from now on. 

To many more years, honey!:)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Day 276. My special game


   I will never forget the 6th grade when our head teacher proposed a game. She told us to close our eyes and focus on all the sounds we heard around us that we usually ignored. Acknowledge their presence and then try to understand where they came from. The point of the game was to realize that we’re never alone and that a lot of things are always happening around us.
   Today I read on my balcony bathing in the sunset light and I played the game again. I heard kids playing with a ball, a baby crying, a parent trying to soothe him, birds chirping, my dad yawning, the wind gently blowing and I realized one thing: Summer is here!
   The past days I've been upset by the constant in and out rain but… It’s June so that’s normal. All natural for the young, rebellious Summer girl who’s sitting on the other green armchair on my balcony. She’s winking at me and playing with her long, blond hair while the sun is caressing her by sending some mild rays on her fragile body. She’s taking a comfortable position and all of a sudden she seems lost, looking in the distance. Just like trying to figure out if she’s here to stay or she should shake the dust again. She smells like poppies and hay, fresh rain and late summer nights by the lake. She’s a girl and a woman altogether. And she knows it. I don’t dare ask her anything being afraid I might ruin her magic moment so I just lounge on my green armchair and I smile with my eyes closed, bathing in the same sun as her. And when I open my eyes she’s already gone. “See you tomorrow evening, Summer. Same place, same hour. Maybe tomorrow we’ll start talking” :) 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Day 275. That awesome feeling


   .... of living freely, of living in the Here and Now. 
   Today I chose to feel good doing what I love and leave aside what I "have to". I chose to enjoy the sunny morning reading a beautiful book (The Paper Girl - Guillaume Musso) and let myself take in all the positive energy that involved. 

sunny morning reading

It even rained in the afternoon and guess what. This time I wasn't annoyed. The fact that I chose ME over THEM made me enjoy the fresh smell during the heavy rain and actually take photos of it:) Isn't it interesting how a small change can have such a big impact upon a whole day?

Raindrops in the vineyard

   Today I had to cook. New stuff. And I was a bit afraid everything was going to turn up a mess, but it actually went well. I was happy and I took the challenge positively. In the end, the sun involved that part of my day, too:)

    My lesson for today: 

Choose to feel free from time to time and just do what you love. You'll see how your whole day will change in an instant:)

Friday, June 7, 2013

Day 274. The wrong people


   Sometimes we give things to the wrong people and it all turns out to be a mess. Because they don't appreciate them and our efforts are in vain. And then we suffer.
   I'm not talking about friends. Friends know how to take things, they know the message beyond the gesture, I'm talking about newbies. People you barely know and you want to bond with. People you grow to care about. 
   Maybe that's our mistake. We don't analyse people before we give. Be it trust, a gift or a secret. 

   So open your eyes and think ahead. It's that simple.
   

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Day 273. Who am I?


   Is it possible to rediscover yourself in the middle of your life? To accidentally find something that's been there all the time but you haven't noticed? ... Hmm? Is that possible? 
   How come I haven't seen it until now? Oh, I know. I've been buried between rules, regulations and laws of all sorts. I've been blinded by the need of obeying them all. I don't know anybody who's as literal as I am when it comes to doing that. And I just realized I might have had something to lose. I might have just denied the real ME in all this situation. 
   I've always been the one THEY wanted me to be but I've never been too brave to admit that I might have been different. I was always the good girl who never wanted to stand out. The one everyone mocked and everyone tried to avoid. So where did that lead me? 
   Today I rediscovered lost bits and pieces of me. It's not something totally different than I am now since this is my personality and the temperament I was born with, but I discovered I have the ability to speak up my mind, and make myself heard. And I don't know why I haven't used that piece of information until now. I guess that's what limiting yourself means. And that's even worse than the limits they set for you:) 
   Oh well, better late than never. There's still time to accept this new part of me:) And I have a feeling it might come in handy sometime:)

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Day 272. The perks of being brave


   Today I went the extra mile. I got out of my comfort zone and I jumped into a whole new type of experiences for photography. Today I was brave.
   I've seen a terribly beautiful house all covered in roses somewhere near where I live and I decided to go take some shots of it. After a lot of planning I got there and I struggled to mingle my camera through the fence and I actually succeeded to take a photo when I saw a man. I freaked out and I quickly went away. I wanted to leave with just that one photo I had. But my photographer instinct told me I needed more than just one photo to own a piece of art of that house that deserved to be praised. So I went back and I decided to ask the owner if I may enter the yard and take a proper photo. 
   He was an elder in his 80s dressed as a gardener. His face was kind and his voice was mild. He said photography and roses were also his passions so not only did he let me take as many photos as I wished but he also explained to me how he tended the beautiful roses covering the old house and he even invited me to follow him behind it.
    I followed him and then my eyes saw more than I could take. A huge garden full of all sorts of roses. All types, all colors, all shapes. And not only roses but also cacti and lily pads and ferns and trees of all kinds. I literaly felt like stepping into a Botanical Garden. And it was even more than that. It was a piece of heaven that made me go from surprise to ecstasy, from smiling to being in awe and saying "wow" every 2 minutes. 
   We took a long walk in the beautiful garden while the old man gently presented to me the types of roses (he had more than 40 types) and let me take photos to anything my heart desired. He even said "Here are some roses you haven't seen, enjoy yourself":) After a while we bonded so well that I felt like walking with my grandpa. I felt so much peace, happiness and amazement. I felt it all at once. 
   When I wanted to leave I took my bag and I saw a red rose inside of it. The old man gave me one of his beloved children. I guess he noticed we bonded too. Because when I left, we were both smiling like we had known each other for ages and this was just another visit I used to pay to him. 
   One thing though. He asked me not to share the photos of his house and garden on the internet so be my guests and imagine them as you please, but make sure you make them top perfection. Because that's how I felt today:)

   What a day!:) And how different might the things have been if only I didn't turn around. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Day 271. Upside down


   It's been almost 3 weeks since my life is upside down. And the funny part is that I love it!
   I've said it before, I'm saying it now too: When you start working, your whole life changes. You marry your workplace and you start living together. At first everything seems very exciting and you're curious to discover how this or that works, but after some months everything becomes a routine. You just go to work and then you just come home. Many times you won't even have time to do something else during the day. So in the end, even if you like what you do, you get frustrated. And bored. Just like being in a very long lasting relationship that you drag with you only because you're afraid of being single. When this occurs, you need "a thrill". Something to make you feel alive again, like a teenager, like a student you used to be only a year ago. Something to keep you forever young. 
   I discovered this is one of my biggest issues. I am only 25 but I am already afraid of aging. I can't imagine myself at the age of 30, 35 or 40. It feels so scary only thinking about it: being surrounded by lots of youngsters who have some growing up to do and then you, standing still and knowing you can't transform anymore... the only difference being that you're getting uglier and less healthy. But I know this is not a good way of thinking and I remember what a wise teacher once told us: "Your purpose in life should be to age beautifully. Only that way you get to be wise at the end of your life." 
   So I am dismissing the bad thoughts and I am focusing on accepting my age and the experience and benefits that come with it. And since I found the "thrill" that turned my life upside down, I'm enjoying it every single day. My days are now brighter and happier. Only now did I realize how much I needed it. How much I needed feeling young again and how awesome the feeling really is:)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Day 270. Giving and receiving


   Sometimes things turn out to be better than we expect and we receive much more than we think we deserve. And all that because karma works her deal all the way. What you give is what you shall receive:)
   Today I read a quote saying "We are not blessed so we can have, we are blessed so we can give." And I love giving! So I organized some cute, unexpected ways to surprise a friend on her birthday:) What I loved most was seeing her sincere reactions of happiness while she was expecting this to be just another regular birthday:) It's interesting to think that I was the one surprised at some point in the past and now, by doing this, I paid it forward. It surely feels good to be able to do it.
   In the end, there's more happiness in giving than receiving:) At least in my case. Making people happy is one of my purposes in life. Today, mission accomplished:)


Sunday, June 2, 2013

Day 269. How it grows


   Today I was fascinated by some hot peppers my dad is growing. They were once sooo little and you could barely see a little green leaf and now they're growing strong and healthy. 
   Friendships are just like growing a plant. At first you need to be really careful. Maybe you'd say that's not necessary. That friendships are exactly the place to be yourself because friends accept you for who you are. Yeah, you're right, but until getting there you have to see if you and your friend match. If you have the same interests, values, goals. If it's going to be a friendship for a day, a week, a month or a lifetime:) And it's not even enough if you like your friend. He/She has to like you back. You have to be accepted. Friendships sound rather complicated now, don't they?
   Taking friendships from the beginning isn't something you usually do at my age. And yet I'm doing it. Because it's so fascinating and awesome that I can't help myself. So here I am going through the nervousness of a teenager who wants to be accepted and liked for who he truly is. Will I succeed? We shall see:)

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Day 268. Music saves the day


   What can you do when there's just another rainy weekend and you have to study even if you don't want to? Let's see something that can get you in the right mood:

1. Find an awesome song and put it on repeat. 
2. Or make a playlist and enjoy it during the day. 
3. Dance like crazy in your room. Let it all out, set yourself free! Don't be afraid to boogie in your own style.
4. Sing till you realize you love your voice even if you've always been too ashamed to sing out loud. 

Today music saved my day!:) And boy, am I thankful for it:)


P.S. Happy children's day, by the way!:)