Day 175. Beautiful hearts

   Today I smile again. And I do it because I met beautiful people who made my day: my new family doctor who's a sweetheart and a librarian from the American Corner:) Both of them wrapped me up with their kindness, patience and lovely attitude towards people. I wanna be like them when I grow up. Wait. I'm already supposed to be a grown up. So I wanna be like them now. Here's to kindness and beautiful people:)

 

Day 174. What sets us apart

   Today I played a game with kids of different ages and I was fascinated by the result:) 

   We talked about physical differences between kids and people in general. They had to compare every two kids I picked. Then, they had to say something they like about every child that was in front of the class. The cute thing was to watch the little ones say "We like him/her because he/she is beauuuutiful" or "Because he/she picks up the toys after playing with them" at EVERY child they saw in front of them:) Interestingly, a year older kids (middle class ones) generally said: "Because he/she is so cheerful and cute / Because he/she plays with me". What's changing inside their little brain in a year to make them see things differently? And how does this change appear? I'm so interested in how they perceive the world:) I bet their parents and teachers have a lot to say in how they grow up, but I still love their way of seeing things and people. Of course, there were kids who said "because she's ugly" and I had to kindly explain that wasn't a thing "to like" about someone, that we're all beautiful and we all have something beautiful about ourselves. They found it tough to understand, especially when they had to say something nice about the naughtiest boy in class, but they still have time to get there:)

   I thought about how we, adults, perceive the ones around us and the characteristics we like in people. Of course, experience molds us and makes us see things according to our expectations, but it's nice to notice how everything begins and how it develops:) So today I realized grown ups have to be very careful of how they teach the little ones interpret what they see. We're their models and we have to judge less if we want them to grow up beautifully and not make the mistakes we've made:) 

Day 173. Daughter of the sun

   These days I'm reading a book about the King of Summer and the Queen of Winter, a teenage fiction that makes me daydream about the beautiful summer days, the lazy afternoons and the amazing sunsets, the smell in the air after a summer rain and all the benefits of a warm season. That's why every sunny day that leaves winter behind fills me up with happiness and steals away any dark thought.

   Today the walk back home was more pleasant than ever. You don't usually notice the birds, but today they they were chirping so happily that I couldn't help myself not smile all the way. The sun made me feel more powerful than ever. That's how I realized. I am a daughter of the sun, a fairy of the King of Summer. Give me the sun and you'll make me the happiest person alive:)

Day 172. Happy coincidences

   Sometimes I'm really happy I can write my memories in here. There are some days which totally sweep you off your feet... those remarkable days that you'll want to remember. Today was one of them:)

   The morning rain was announcing a terrible day, but that was actually just the wrapping of the present. It scared me, but as the day passed and I opened my present I realized sometimes a beautiful thing can be wrapped in plain paper that turns you off. If you, however, have the patience to unwrap the present, the real beauty will come to light. 

   Out of nowhere my schedule cleared and a bright sun started to shine through the trees outside my office window. It was too good to be true:) I felt like reading in the park but I remembered the park wasn't green yet so I let that idea aside. By the time I decided to go home I found out my boyfriend had free time and he wanted to go walk in the park as well:) Sometimes things connect and you don't even have to move a finger. So this is how I ended up in the park with my loved one bathing in the warm sun and enjoying the life of a student... that careless life when you feel free to do anything you want and responsibility isn't written in your dictionary yet. I missed feeling like a student:) Working can limit you to behaving like an adult and forgetting to enjoy the little opportunities life gives you. But today I said "yes" and it felt sooo good:) 

   As I was putting the wrapping away I realized there was something else in the box. "Life of Pi". I knew it was supposed to be a good movie but for some reason I kept avoiding it. Until today. My whole family watched it. We laughed, we stared in amazement, we waited and then we sighed. It was one of those movies that exceed your expectations. Wow. Just wow. And here's the thing that impressed me the most:

"In the end the whole life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye."

   Today I was drunk with happiness, sunshine and freedom. I want to feel this again:) The feeling of youth makes you young again. And who doesn't want to be young?

Day 171. Accepting change

   There are many times when we believe we know what we want. We set some goals and follow them blindly until we're very close to reaching them. But right then something happens and we change our mind. We realize we don't want that exact thing anymore, that we actually need something else that can make us just as happy or even happier. So we get the other thing and we smile satisfied. Thinking back to what we first wanted we notice we've been wrong all along... that sometimes we have to accept change even if at first we're really stubborn and think we know what's best for us. Embracing other people's opinions, even if it's about something major concerning your life, is a sign of wisdom. Not everybody can do it:)

   My brother accepted change today and he got an amazing couch. I accepted change and I realized that working in a kindergarten is way better than my ex high school. Sometimes you just gotta accept there's something else you need. It's hard at first, but if you go with the flow and trust people around you, the result is going to make you even happier. So don't be afraid to let them step in your life and give you advice. Don't be afraid to accept change:)

Day 170. Let it spring

Dear diary,

   

    Today I was eagerly waiting to go meet her. I wasn't sure she would be waiting for me, but she sent me some signs these past days so I kept my hopes up:) The city is not hers yet so I went to the forest and started looking for her between the trees, through the dead leaves, in the air, everywhere. I was patient enough and after some time I did. I found her. She was very shy, well hidden and barely wanting to be discovered, but there she was: in the snowdrop buds showing up through the leaves, in the sun shining warmly, in the smiles of relaxed people. 

   Winter's gone. Or at least she has her luggage done. So I took Spring by the hand and I welcomed her. I hugged her dearly and I told her I'm going to take care of her from now on. Try to keep her happy. We all like sunny days, don't we? 

   I even had a room make-over at home. I put away all the wintery stuff and made place for touches of spring. And snowdrops are now my most precious jewelry. There they stand as I'm writing to you:) They're smiling at me because we both know I'll be born again this spring. 

   I can't wait for her arrival in the city, to walk with her and catch up just like old friends do:) ... I feel like a teenager... Maybe that's the effect she has on me and I'm willing to accept it as a part of who I am because every time she's around I'm being myself again:) So let it spring!:)

Love,

D.

Day 169. Hope

   Hope is what keeps us going. Hope for a better world, a better future, a life just like we want it. Or maybe hope that everything is going to be OK in the end, even if we know there's still a long way full of surprises until we reach the final destination.

   I found out my time in the kindergarten I'm working now could be limited to... only 4 more months. Due to some bureaucratic stuff, I might have to choose a different workplace sometime in August and it might hurt cos I really thought I was going to stay longer and I also got attached to the place and the people. Still, there is the option of staying here if I get a high enough grade at the exam and choose this place again. So I end up hoping Someone up there will help me just like He did last year when every little detail helped me get here because it had to be this way. It was a miracle and I still believe in it. I believe in myself. And I hope. Never end up hoping:) And if the dream comes to an end, I will write new stories and I will try to save new lives wherever I am. In my own, little way.

Day 168. Stand up

   Now and then we have to make some tough decisions that we'd rather avoid making, hoping that way the problems would solve themselves. But we all know they don't. Instead, they just pile up and make us feel worse and worse each time we face them. 

   After talking to various people who all told me I am right for thinking about making this decision, I am changing my family doctor. My last sickness that brought us together revealed to me that her behavior towards her patients is definitely not appropriate and that I have the right not to accept to be treated like that. My friends made me realize we're not living in a totalitarian system anymore and that I can stand up for my rights. Choose differently. Better. That's the problem with most of us. We choose to stay in bad relationships because we think we deserve them or maybe because we're afraid there's never gonna be something better out there.... that they're all the same. But NO! They aren't. People are made to be unique and that means you don't have to settle down for mediocre. So I found a better doctor already and I'm moving forward even if it's a bit uncomfortable. Changes can be that way. But I'm thinking about my future: Do I want to be afraid to go see the doctor whenever I feel sick? Do I want to be misunderstood and not know what sickness I have or how to treat it? No, I don't, so I stand up and move on. There's always better out there. Don't settle down for mediocre! 

Day 167. Feels like heaven

   A heaven full of cute Teddy bears:) What a difference, huh? Been through hell and now I'm going through heaven. Bipolar much?:)) Naaah, that's just how life is... and the fact that today everything really worked soooo smoothly that going back to work was a real blessing:) How often can you say that?

   My lovely day started with a class of angels who are usually very energetic and not paying attention to the activities but who this time were so patient and willing to cooperate:) A real wonder. I was even able to teach them a poem along with some girls from Russia and later on they drew the bear from the poem sooo artistically and cute that it made my heart melt. And as I sat down and chatted with a boy while he was drawing, all of a sudden he stopped what he was doing and started telling me on a serious voice: "You should know I love you!":) They say those words so easily and I admire them for that because I know they really mean it:) And still... life's so wicked. Now they're nasty and they don't want to obey you, then, you sit down with them, listen to them, play with them and then they're suddenly your best friends. This is how I realized you first have to be your kids' friend and only then their superior. It doesn't matter if you're their teacher or their parent. They want you to set them free and try to understand their needs. But it's a real pain to make them understand your needs as well:) We're still working on that one, though. There's plenty of time left.

   All in all, today I noticed how much I missed my kids and how much I need them in order to be zen. I wouldn't be as happy among school kids or teens as I am now. I could never:) This is my destiny. To be forever surrounded by preschool kids no matter if that means being pissed and feeling useless from time to time. There's only so low you can go and then... you have to climb back:) Remember this, Dana, when you'll go down there again!

   You know what? Today I really am positive:) Not to mention how talking to a dear, old friend improved that state:) So, scratch that. Today I'm MORE positive!:D Maybe tomorrow I'm gonna be THE MOST positive:) 

Day 166. Yin and yang

   Isn't life a continuous sequence of ups and downs, yins and yangs mingling everywhere around us? Today I had them both.

   My roller coaster took a steep descend in a hole where family doctors don't do their job properly. That usually happens everywhere in Romania. People are too tired of waiting and doctors are too impatient to go home. And this is how you never know your diagnosis or how to take your pills. 

   However, the upside part is that I've been told I look fine (let's hope my doctor's right) and that can mean just one thing: Everything is ending well. It was a rough war and my sickness won a few battles, but I seem to have won the war:) No more staying in bed, no more pain of any sorts, no more pills. 

   I can't wait to read this post in a couple of months and laugh about how much of a drama queen I've let myself be these days, but maybe all this happened because I needed to feel people close to me. And I did. I know there are people out there who really care about me so I'm moving on with a smile on my lips:) Let's lead the roller coaster upwards!:) It's time for some happiness!:D

Day 165. One step at a time

   You know, whenever life takes you by surprise and gives you lemons when you were expecting roses, you take a step back and enter the negativity stage: "This can't be happening to me" you say. Well guess what. It is. And after a week of taking pills and fighting with this weird sickness that seems to have a will and a condition of her own (bipolar personality) for coming and going whenever she pleases, I'm not impressed anymore. Just like getting used to a moody boss, I got used to her. I'm still cautious, but I'm trying to take it one step at a time and see how things evolve. I never plan things for more than the present day so it's safe to say I'm "carpe diem". 

   The bad thing about being sick is that you get to have too much free time and no ideas how to use it or even worse, you lose your interest in your old habits. And this is how you end up watching some cheap TV programs and news that talk about teens killing each other and stuff like that. I'm sick and tired of everything TV means (life without TLC is shitty) so I spend more time with my ever patient mother who likes to listen to all my complaints and wishes. She's the best! She's taking it one step at a time with me and it feels good not be alone on the road cos nothing hurts more than loneliness. 

   

   So come what it may, I'm ready! Bring it on!

Day 164. Smile, tomorrow will be worse!

   And yet Murphy is right again. I wish I'd say "I will get better! Everything will be fine", but this time I really can't:( 

   No matter how close I was to 100% healing, my file stopped at 98% again... these past couple of nights I felt an awful stabbing pain in the left side of my chest... aaaand the fever is back. My parents even called in the ambulance (yay, there's a first for everything). The doctor said I should stay at home another week and continue the treatment. 

   WHEN will I get back to work?:( All I want is to be fit as a fiddle again, that bundle of joy everybody knows, but my body doesn't seem to be on the same page with me so my physical illness is turning into a psychological breakdown too. I feel totally overwhelmed by the situation and don't know where to turn to. I'm in that state that I'm afraid to breathe or sit on my back that I would feel pain so it's kinda like feeling trapped in a tiny box with nowhere to go. And I hate this tiny box! Someone please get me out of here!!!! 

   ... yeah, sometimes even psychologists break down. 

Day 163. Yummy Saturday

   Today I spent the day with my best friend watching my first Asian tv show (not anime) and baking a cake that looked delicious in a magazine (sponge cake and custard pudding). 

   I didn't know Asian people are SO different from us, the Europeans. I think the Americans are pretty much like us, so maybe Asians are a whole different species with different behaviors and customs. No offence to them, but they can seem too much to handle at first. Then you kinda get used to them and maybe you even like being around them. 

   Regarding our baking session, I realized the photos from the magazines are always better than reality (d'oh, didn't you know that already?), but we had fun while cooking in Bain-Marie and smelling the awesome scent of freshly baked cake. 

   I remembered how cooking new stuff is both exciting and tricky in the same time because the recipe might not speak to you after all, just like trying out new relationships which seem to have potential. Nevertheless, I love experimenting with my best friend! That's what we're best at:)

Day 162. We are beautiful

 "We are beautiful no matter what they say. Words won't bring us down. We are beautiful in every single way. Words can't bring us down, so don't you bring me down today."

    Today I watched "Romanians have talent". I truly believe they do and it's actually one of the reasons I want to stay in this country. One of the contestants was a girl with health problems (dwarfism) who sang "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. The whole moment was so powerful everybody shed a tear. While watching her sing I realized she was right. It really doesn't matter how we look like, the real deal is on the inside. But we keep forgetting that because society tries to make us want to lose weight and resemble those girls in the magazines, thus we're never satisfied with how we look and we're caught in the middle of wanting to eat a bar of chocolate and feeling guilty if we do because we have to look perfect. You know what, the only thing that matters is that "Too much is not good." So let's get rid of the "This is how we should look" idea and accept ourselves just the way we are, but most importantly, accept the others and try to get past our prejudices because they didn't want to be born this way. They're humans just like us and many times they're better than the rest of us. Let's open our eyes and learn.

Day 161. Down memory lane

   Here we are, the controversial V Day is here. Half love it, half hate it. I personally don't need a special day to reassure my loved one of my feelings. We're not cliche. We're celebrating 3 years and a half instead and that's something. Way better than exchanging plushies and heart shaped candy. Even though, I admit that the idea of this special day is very cute since it's called after Valentino, a priest of Rome who was marrying couples even if he wasn't allowed to do it. So he was indeed the messenger of love and this day should remind us of true love, young love, that kind of love that lasts forever. Unfortunately, the society we live in commercialized it and it's now all about gifts, hotel rooms and red underwear. That's why I decided not to celebrate it. 

   I couldn't help going down memory lane though. Today I opened my chest of treasures. I found old letters and memories that reminded of who I was years ago, my hopes, dreams and love stories back then. I realized that my past prepared me for meeting my true love. Before him my life was a continuous roller coaster of falling in love and breaking up, but every past boyfriend wrote some lines in my book that helped me understand who I am and what I'm looking for. I realized that you can have beauty, but not wisdom. You can receive "I love you"s but not feel them back, you can have protection, but not a best friend to share everything with. So this is how I know I found the one. My best friend, my lover, the one that makes me feel complete. 

              

                     I love you, baby!:) 

Day 160. A blessing in disguise

   Many times when misfortune strikes we start pitying ourselves and we expect to receive kind words that will help us move on. But if we have the power to close our eyes and breathe, stand back and see the whole situation from a different perspective, we find out that misfortunes are really blessings in disguise.

   Haven't I frequently told myself that I need a break and that I want to spend time with myself? Well today I realized my sickness gave me just that. I wanted to go to work by all means but sometimes we just gotta follow the signs and accept the road life leads us onto. It's not easy to do that while in denial or being blinded by sorrow, but after some time we get the chance to see the real meaning behind it all. I am now relaxing and gathering my forces to help kids understand that life isn't how they want it all the time... and maybe I should learn that lesson myself:)

Day 159. The bright side

   These days I've been having some awesome dreams, not the kind I usually do. These ones are like one long story, easy to understand and interpret. Nothing complicated or twisted, no fear involved, no one wanting to harm me. Actually I was a leader and I had to choose my teammates to achieve some purpose. I was assessing their skills in various ways and I found out they were all very smart and I was proud of that. Looking back, I'm not sure I dreamt all those or actually imagined it while being feverish and not being able to sleep. I'll never know. 

   Then, another strange thing that's been happening to me while feverish was that I saw things that weren't supposed to be there... shapes and shadows were forming human faces, some of them of people everybody knows. I've seen Bob Marley, how sick is that? This usually happened right before going to sleep, when my room was sinking in partial darkness and a whole series of shadows began to show up in front of my eyes. I was actually enjoying this, you know? I guess I was feeling high.

    But the thing is that after starting to take antibiotics, the fever dropped and the awesome dreams stopped and so did my other power no matter how much I tried to bring it back. The magic is gone now.

   So maybe there was a bright side in all this sad, sad story of me being sick again. Maybe fever was a good thing after all since it made me more creative. Who knew? 

Day 158. The white flag

   Complaining should be allowed! Like totally! Why do you want me to stop emotionally ventilate AND lie myself in the process, saying that everything IS ok when it isn't? Complaining about pain and the emotional breakdown I'm going through helps me. It gets off my chest all the sorrow that's been piling up in the last days. Why call it irrational and childish when it's just a coping mechanism? I just want to be healthy, so not being that way bugs me and I start talking about it. 

   Today I hit bottom again. I finally went to see the doctor. It was an emergency since I couldn't go on without antibiotics and she had the cure. In Romania anything can happen so, instead of being treated first, I was avoided and I felt like a piece of nothing while waiting. I wanted to leave sick as I was, being disgusted of it all but mom said I should stand up for my rights and demand to be looked at. And so I did. In the end it seems like the flu I thought I had isn't that severe (really?). 

    Like I always do, I went to buy the pills the doctor prescribed and then it hit me. The intense pain of a man who ran kilometers. I felt like I walked till Zimbabwe and back (literally). You don't wanna know what an excruciating pain that is. Somehow, meanwhile feeling the most helpless and lonely being in the world, I managed to reach my block of flats but... when I had to climb the many stairs till the 4th floor where I live... I couldn't. I then burst into tears, the bitter tears of the one who accepts being defeated. "I'm done being cocky and pretend to win every battle when I'm not." Mom came and helped me climb those stairs. It was a good drama movie moment. Looking back at it I wouldn't wanna live it again so I decided not to leave the house this week for anything in the world. I am going to rest a lot and recover... or die. One of the two. Man, I'm such a good drama queen.

Day 157. Winner's illusion

   Last night was going to be another white night and I knew it, but guess what: this time I was able to sleep in a couple of hours. Fever still fought to take me over but I wasn't willing to give up. I discovered a way to take away my back pain and during the day, after tons of tea, fruit, cold compress and staying under the warm blanket... I opened my eyes to a new me. A seemingly healthier me. Not feeling feverish, not complaining about being sick. Everything looked bright. I even considered going to work tomorrow until... She showed me it was still too early to announce my victory. The flu was wearing a black mask that had me thinking I was ok. 

   Not being able to take a mere shower hurts. Trembling like hell while overdressed hurts as well. So I'm back in bed and I'm taking it from square one. Silly, silly me. She'd never give up so soon because she's stronger this time. I need to be just as strong even if that means giving up on something. Bring it on.

 

Day 156. Hitting bottom

   You know, when you're excited about something you stop thinking about its negative aspects. You might try to foresee what might go wrong but you're too optimistic to care. You want to GET THERE and that's the only thing you see ahead. And that's how it should stay. Cos if we let our negative brain do his job, we'll lose the fun of looking forward and then we'd live in fear. 

   I was sooo looking forward to working with preschool kids last summer that I didn't even think about the downside of it. I never thought that something could go wrong. Ok, we all know there are spoiled kids and aggressive ones, but usually kids are like candy: easy on the eyes. Little did I know that with preschool kids come a lot of viruses that weaken the immune system of the newbie teachers. And since I'm a newbie... Oh well. This time (third) the flu kicked hard. So hard that it made me doubt wanting to work with the little ones again. Wrong. I know. But the pain I am going through has no words to describe it. So intense that you think killing yourself to get rid of it could be an option. I am aware how crazy that sounds. And yet, when you're sick you're not rational anymore. I hit bottom today. I felt like going crazy. All I wanted to do was scream and cry because of how helpless I felt. My parents said I was acting worse than a baby and I tend to agree but when you're stuck in a bed without any power, it's hard to accept you just gotta give up from time to time.

   I didn't sleep at all last night because of the burning fever and today it seems to carry on with me. And I'm missing a birthday party. Yay. 

  Thank God for good friends who care about you and bring you tangerines. Seeing that someone cares and doesn't judge you for complaining about how much it hurts helps a lot. I miss seeing my friends.

Day 155. Make up your mind, winter!

   Whenever a season is ending you can't wait for the next one to begin. This time, spring is MY season, my beloved friend which makes me whole. So today when I saw the people from the weather forecast were right I just sighed. 

   It snowed again. It's beautiful to watch it while it happens, enjoy the fairy dance and feel like a child again, but man winter's gotta make up her mind. Too much time has already passed since she's been singing "Should I go or should I stay?" I really thought we said goodbye to each other already but, no, she's moody and she wants back. It's still her right to be here, so I have to keep quiet. But being patient is still tough. Let's see. Maybe if I play indifferent she'll go away.

[later on that day]

Brrrrr I'm cold! What's going on? ...  Oh no, not a flu again:( 

Thank you, winter, for pimping my life. Not. I think we should break up. Asap. Don't ask me why. You already know.

With rage,

D.

Day 154. Trust issues

   Even if I'm almost 25 I still have some bits left from childhood... like the naivety of believing people are generally good. If I see someone who shows kindness and/or affection towards others, including me, I start trusting them. I trust they are good people who are here to make this world a better place. But today... I found out otherwise.

   A person I met months ago and who seemed so very warm hearted and kind, who helped me and always spoke nicely to me has been doing some illegal stuff. I was shocked when I found out. She really didn't seem like the type. Of course, saying "I'm doing VERY well" every morning when I asked her "How she was" gave me an idea something was fishy (since you can't be in a perfect condition every single morning for months) but I thought it was just me. 

   So here's how I found out I have to let go of my childhood belief of blindly trusting people around. I'm not sure I want to be cautious every time I meet a new person from now on but in these past months of working I found out people can be really mean and not worthy of my trust. So maybe trust has to be earned in time, not immediately and maybe, just maybe, people ARE born good but turn bad because they want to get rich, be powerful or feared. Who knows?

Day 153. One must weep

      Most people love kids, right? Well when we state that, we usually think about the cute toddlers who barely say some words and walk clumsily, are ever so curious to discover the world, love toys and still have that attractive baby face. What about the 5 or 6 year olds? They become more independent, start to question what you tell them and... learn not to obey. And sometimes that can bring hard to bear consequences... at least for the educators (like me). 

   Today I had a good day. Until I met some 5 and 6 year olds who didn't want to pay attention to me no matter how much I tried to make the activity interesting. The sad part is that it wasn't their first time showing no respect towards me. Promises of a reward no longer worked since they're used to getting something in return for their good behaviour and they say they don't need colored dots anymore so... why not do what they want? Why not disturb the class so that kids who want to pay attention couldn't? I asked them whether they didn't like me or the things I was teaching them. They said "no, we like you". "Then what is it? Why don't you pay attention?" "We don't know" they said. That's what the big ones always say. They seem to question things around them but they never really know why they don't obey the rules. Tricky. 

   So I was left in the position of being the bad teacher, the one who punishes them and makes them feel fear. I wish I didn't have to do that, but I felt it necessary. Of course a child started to cry being faced with a punishment and seeing that he couldn't do everything he wanted in class and in the end I felt bad. Bad of not knowing how to be that perfect teacher who the kids are in love with, that teacher who knows how to solve critical problems without punishing the students. I felt lonely in a crowd. I didn't know what to do next. I don't want to go to them next time and punish them even before the activity starts in order to keep them focused. I want to be a good teacher and I wish they would just listen to me. Maybe... I'm not tough enough and that has to be learned... all in due time.

Day 152. The lessons of a father

   Work's all right and my days pass looking very similar one to another but the things, people or messages I meet every day make my days special. 

   Today I read a girl's blog post about how she was brought up and the teachings her dad gave her along the childhood years. I was particularly impressed by the wisdom of that father who, of all things, taught his daughter the importance of being kind to the others, treat them the best and not judge people by their appearance but by their "inside". He also said that things have a life of their own and they are meant to break at some point so we shouldn't weep for the broken but accept the fact and replace them with new ones and that, in the end, people are more valuable than things. I wish I will be just as wise when I will be a mother:)

Take a look at the exact words of this amazing father:

"Porcelain dishes aren't important, people are. So, you should serve breakfast, lunch or dinner in porcelain dishes to anybody who enters your home no matter his social class or ethnicity." 

"Never take the last piece of cake from a plate. Maybe somebody didn't have the chance to take any or maybe someone else needs it more than you do." 

 "When you have two apples, give away the biggest and most beautiful of the two. And if other time you receive the small apple, don't complain. Don't have high expectations and don't be greedy."

"Give thanks for every bit of food you receive from somebody. The person who cooked that food has given you a part of her life."

"Don't judge people for their ethnicity for they are not guilty they were born this way. Don't reject people, even if the others reject them. Try to know a person first before saying that he's ugly, stupid or bad."

"Things have their own life. They all have to be replaced at some point."

"Speak to people like you'd be speaking to yourself."

"Gifts aren't meant to be an exchange. You don't have to give back the exact value of the gift you have received."

"You shouldn't choose people to be your friends by their clothes. You should choose them with your eyes closed so you couldn't see their beauty or the things they possess. Don't be ashamed to have a friend who's different." 

 You can find the whole post in Romanian, here: http://www.irinab.com/p/copilarii.html 

   Read it!:) It will change your life and make you appreciate your parents more... And we all need that:)

Day 151. Ideas worth borrowing

   You know those moments in your life when you don't know what to eat anymore and you're fed up with the food you have whenever you open the fridge? In those moments, try to reach out to your friends. You'll be surprised to find out some old recipes cooked in a new way that seem really appealing.

   A friend said he's eaten fried cheese (that sounds weird in English) and some veggies along with some garlic sauce, so I thought: why not try that myself? Yum! It was delicious!:) I can't wait to find out new recipes!

   So, whenever creativity leaves the building it's good to remember you can turn to your dear ones. Not only for advice, but also for food tips;)

Day 150. The thrill

   We're never satisfied for a long while. Even if we want something very much, after we receive it we enjoy it for some time, but then sooner or later boredom kicks in. 

   You won't settle down to wearing your whole life those jewels you just bought and you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your days watching tv shows no matter how much you want to do that now. At some point... you will be bored of it. And then you will want to feel the thrill again. You'll be looking for it in everything around you and that's going to be your next purpose in life because having everything you need doesn't necessarily involve being continuously satisfied. One day you'll want to feel the thrill again, just like me. And then you'll begin a restless journey and you won't stop until you'll find that moment, be it in doing something you haven't done for a long while or having a crush along with the characters of the book you're just reading. And after you find it you'll settle down for a while but then you'll want to begin another journey for life is a never ending series of moments when you felt the thrill. Those are the moments you'll want to share with your grandchildren. So, find the thrill and live it! Live it while you still can:)

Day 149. Revive

   I don't know about you but I've never been good at caring for houseplants. They need a lot of attention. Each of them is special in its own way and you have to be careful how much you water them and so on.

   So you can imagine how frustrated I was when one of the few houseplants that I received and LIVED has been bent down and broken by accident. I loved my little begonia and her yellow flowers... now she has just two leaves left. 

    ... I know, what an unimportant issue that seems to be while students aren't passing their exams and people are dying out there of cancer and other serious illnesses... It surprised me too. I didn't think I'd react like that, but that little begonia was like my child... and now she's almost dead. That got me from frustration to sadness. I didn't lose my hope yet, though. I'm going to take good care of her remaining two leaves and hope she'll be just like a phoenix raising from her ashes:) 

   I decided I have to be more careful since every action we do has its own consequence around us, just like a little pebble thrown away in a lake. 

    “The thing about real life is, when you do something stupid, it normally costs you. In books the heroes can make as many mistakes as they like. It doesn't matter what they do, because everything works out in the end. They'll beat the bad guys and put things right and everything ends up cool.

In real life, vacuum cleaners kill spiders. If you cross a busy road without looking, you get whacked by a car. If you fall from a tree, you break some bones.

    Real life's nasty. It's cruel. It doesn't care about heroes and happy endings and the way things should be. In real life, bad things happen. People die. Fights are lost. "  

- Darren Shan

Day 148. That awesome feeling

   ... of weekend, of time expanding and of the warm springy air all around you:) That awesome feeling when you don't have to rush anywhere because you know you've got all the time in the world to yourself! You can sleep through the morning, wake up and have brunch, read a really catchy book and then continue relaxing. How I missed this feeling:) 

       Welcome, dear weekend!:)