The lessons

   Dear diary,

   I learned that life takes you by surprise. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for what's coming.

   I learned that you never completely know yourself and that you have to be willing to play the beautiful unfolding game life is so you could get to know yourself a little more every day.

   I learned that we take so many things for granted and it's so hard not to once we're used to having them around.

   I learned that it's all an illusion. The mirror of Erised. And it takes a whole while till you figure that out.

   I learned that now is more important than yesterday or tomorrow, that I want to live it all before I pass away. 

   I learned that life gives us gifts of all sorts and shapes and we should always take them. Because they don't come back.

   I learned I needed 25 years to be a woman and I'm still a kid inside. I love that part of myself and I enjoy it every day.

   I learned we're complex beings, beautiful ones, full of amazing features we should use more often. We need to be true to ourselves first and then to the others.

   I learned that it's hard to have no expectations but you can train yourself not to. That life is a game where you have to accept that sometimes you win and other times you lose and know that the game always goes on no matter what... with or without you.

   I learned that life's short, so we should do what we feel like and regret nothing.

Still learning,

D.

Life within books

   Dear diary,

   Life within the books I read usually seems so simple, so easy to understand and follow. Characters are confused and they feel down, but we already know the solution. When they are making a mistake we shout at them telling them what to do but they can't hear us.

   Thing is, books make us omniscient gods who know it all. Rather than that, real life is full of blanks we need to fill in like in those scary English classes. Who knew I'd end up loving filling in those blanks for others? Maybe one day I'll end up loving filling in my own. 

   Books help. They truly do. It's free therapy every time I feel bored, down or lonely. But they won't solve my puzzles. I have to. And 2014 is the biggest of them all. I decided to let the dice roll, let life unfold itself and go with the flow. 

   I'll keep on reading this year's book and underline my favorite quotes. Sure, there will be passages that will make me cry, there always are, but I already know there's going to be a kick ass ending... cos I  love fairytales and this is MY own book I'm reading!

Forever a reader,

D.

Lost and found

   Dear diary,

   We're losing ourselves daily in the midst of this beautiful journey. I learned that we often get lost trying to solve the big puzzle instead of starting with smaller ones. 

   We want to help, but we end up needing help ourselves. 

   We lose so much and find so little but somehow everything's okay in the end. 

   We get annoyed, frustrated, sad, broken. We lose. We find. 

   We open shiny doors and then we close them. By the time we visit them again they become ancient. Doors that didn't have a key but now they do. I learned that usually the good key is the last. That's why we always have to  be patient. 

   We get lost in the labyrinth we each created for ourselves. But isn't getting lost such a great adventure? All that adrenaline rushing and that slight fear of being forever lost that boosts us into trying to find the exit and in the same time gives us the reassuring feeling that there's still time. We wander around dark streets, closing our eyes and thinking nobody sees us, we breathe in, breathe out and then we smile. It's the best feeling in the world... Getting lost and then finding ourselves again. 

   

Forever lost... and found,

D.

The Game

Dear present self,

We’re all born in the middle of a Game. The difficulty level is chosen beforehand but it doesn’t even matter because we all play the same levels.

Whenever you think you’re strong, the Game proves you just how weak you can be. And then you have to play those levels over and over again until you learn the right lessons and you become strong again. But strength doesn’t come alone. You need to keep those lessons tight because you’ll need them again in the next levels.

Some levels are a piece of cake. They seem too easy to be real, and yet they’re awesome. In the end you learn to enjoy them but after a while you get bored and you wonder where the dragon is hiding. You miss fighting the dragon but then, when you actually meet him two stages later you freak out and fail.

Failure is natural. It’s a game after all. The important thing is to learn those lessons and move on wiser, be always prepared for the unexpected and embrace whatever comes with peace. You can go to the next level more easily if you try to solve the previous with a cold mind: “What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? How can you solve it?”

And then, when you least expect, the Game sends you a little clue. Take that clue and use it wisely to pass to the next level. Never give up until you finish the Game. Stay strong and keep playing!

With love,

Yourself

Welcome to the new age

Dear diary,

   2013 was a great year for me. I went places, I met dear people, I had all sorts of first experiences that made me feel so good:) I learned things about myself. Things that hurt me at first but then prepared me for the future. I began to bloom and get ready to spread my wings and fly. 

   Now it's already 2014 and I'm thinking that while being a teenager I believed in the "New year, new person" thing. I thought you could just change your whole being if you wanted to. Then I grew up and I hated that statement. Now I don't hate it anymore. I just know that changing your whole personality is not an option, but changing your attitude is. 

   So this year I will make a change that will bring a whole new perspective in my life. That thing I was looking to since forever but for some reasons I was afraid to accept and show it. It doesn't mean I'll be releasing my demons, it just means I won't be afraid to be who I really am. With ups and downs, light and darkness, every time true to myself. 

   I don't know about others, but I always tried to be the best person in the world and I often failed. And then guess what happened. I felt guilty. And responsible. Well this year, I'm done with being extra cautious. This year I'm learning from my past mistakes but I'm also thinking about me instead of putting the others first every single time. I'm going to buy what I feel like buying, spend time how I feel like and do whatever feels right. Out with the guilt, in with the inner peace. 

  

"Everything is right as long as it makes you happy and you're not hurting the others." 

   I feel it already. The new age, the new attitude, the awesome adventures waiting to be lived with full intensity:) Can't wait!

Forever young,

D.