365 project 2: Day 6. Mission accomplished

   

   Every now and then I love trying out a new recipe. I buy everything I need, I do a lot of research online to make sure I am ready for what comes and then I start working. Of course that most of the times something happens and I have to redo part of the recipe or adjust it. Today wasn't an exception. I'd more likely call it an adventure! Most people would bake the simplest version of a new recipe and see how it goes. I take a dive and decide to do 3 different types of fillings. At the end of the day, after accomplishing the trials just like in fairytales, the result is pretty outstanding. And this is what makes me go on.

   We might meet obstacles very often in our life, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Let the obstacles teach you the lesson you need in order to grow. Never give up, never surrender, you can do way more than you think you can! Sure, you'll get frustrated in the meantime, but learn to be patient because everything's going to be worth it when you achieve your dream. Today I achieved mine! :)

Spring lessons

Dear diary,

  Life goes on. Always. No matter what happens deep inside every one of us. Nature follows its course and spring is in full bloom. I love that about life. That it can find the power to always go on even in the strangest situations. Life prevails. And it keeps teaching us lessons every day. And today our lesson is that 

... we gotta move on, 

... try to take the best of everything that happens to us,

... be ready to rearrange plans if needed, 

... take wise decisions

... and regret nothing. 

... be in full bloom, just like the trees outside, 

... be feminine, colorful and joyful.

   The first true days of spring have brought a never ending smile on my face. I'm finally dressing light, wearing new flowery clothes, smelling of watermelon, eating strawberries and spreading love all around. I'm experiencing a whole new side of life, I'm doing things I've always longed to do, I'm happy and I know it. Life's good.

Breathing spring,

D.

When I'm gone

   Dear diary,

   I had so much to chew upon these last days, but the most striking thing that still follows me like a shadow is this girl's death. She was a 26 year old blogger, a writer to a fashion magazine, a woman, a girl, a beautiful being. And it's sad to use the past when talking about her. Even if I never knew her in person and I barely discovered her blog right the night before she passed away, I put myself in her shoes from the first line I read on her blog. I identified myself with her because of how and what she used to write. And I agree with her: "I am sure life is a big fat lesson". So now I ask myself: "What if it were me instead of her?" "What if today I'm crafting my Advent calendars and tomorrow something happens and ... Boom. I'm just not here anymore." 

   You know, people keep telling us life is short, but we live like we're immortal. After this blogger's episode I feel like waking up from a long dream and realizing life IS short. Freakin' short. And if you think about it, so many people don't fully live their age. We listen to society pushing us here and there, being this way or that way, doing this or that, but who are we really? 

   Here I am, folding paper and enjoying it. I love crafting. And I love the fact that I discovered it now, while I'm 25, not married and without kids. I am well aware that when the time will be right, I won't have the free time I have now. So why does society keep pressing us to move on with the tide when we want to wait for the right tide? 

   I want to enjoy every age and dream out loud. And when I die I want to die smiling. Knowing that I did everything I could to enjoy life at its best, love people, heal people and the world around me. Life is short. Even if we get to reach 70.
  Let's fully enjoy our age and later on be happy at the memory of every step taken. Let's be thankful for every little thing we have in our life. Better yet, let's be thankful for what we don't have as well. Because everything happens for a reason and "life is a big fat lesson"...

D.

Live it up

   I know, I said it before. Various times. But it came back to me so I guess it's a never ending lesson we have to learn again and again our whole life: Live it up. Take all the opportunities that show up on your way, be it an awesome light on a lazy Sunday, a donating books event in your city or the opportunity to help a kid do his homework. 

   Don't be lazy! That tv show will always be there, but some chances don't show up twice:) (Remember the color fight?:D) You just have to surpass your fear of being judged. You feel glamorous and want to take some selfies? Do it! You feel like walking in the nature but all your friends are busy? Take your camera and go enjoy yourself. You want to start a project but you're afraid you'll never have enough time? Believe me, you CAN do anything you want to do. Just do it:) You'll see how happy that thing will make you feel. 
   If I learned something in my life it's that we have to conquer our fears and focus on being happy. Because in the end, that's what keeps us going, right?:) But there's this trick:

   So do whatever makes you happy and do this exercise an awesome teacher gave us: write down every day 3 things that made you happy. Do it for a week. See how your life changes when you acknowledge there ARE things that make you happy every day. So why are you sad then?:) Start being happy and take all the opportunities that make you want to shout "I love life"! Say YES more often! Live it up!:)

Day 310. The short road

   ... isn't always the best for you. My family and I found that the hard way today but at least we learned our lesson:)

   I also learned that it's not ok to push things the way you want. They just won't work all the time. And that's when you'll be disappointed. So better consider your options and sometimes take the long road instead. It will be smoother and it will give you time to enjoy the ride properly. Sure, it will have its bumps now and then, but you'll take them one by one and you'll surpass them more easily thinking about the destination that you're looking forward to achieve. 

   The long road is the vivid representation of life. It has its ups and downs, but it's mostly smooth if you learn to be patient enough. If you don't, it will just seem endless and you'll always want to take the short one instead. But then life will bring you back to the lesson you need to learn: the short road isn't always the best for you:)


P.S. Remember this:

Day 305. Patience is a virtue

   I know, you know, everybody knows that patience is what I lack the most. And it's the lesson that always comes back to me until I pass the test. So today, another trial. This time I can't say "next time", this time I'm forced to do it and I'd better learn from it for once. In the end, my motivation is high, I just have to go through all the steps until I get there:) Ohhh, can't wait, perfect teeth:)

Day 304. Same old lesson

   Did you ever wonder why you're going through the same situations again and again? Did you ever wonder "Why me?" "Why now?" "Why again?" The answer to all those is:

   It's hard to realize that you didn't learn your lesson the previous time. And it's even harder to admit you have to go through it all over again and somehow find the right skills in order to pass the test. But don't worry, that's why you have friends around:) Remember, all fairy tale heroes had their helpers and that's how they succeeded:) 

   One more thing! Don't worry if you fail again cos...

Day 283. The untiring search

   Life is a journey of an untiring search for what we want. We search and search and at some point we find something that makes us feel comfortable. So then we settle for it and stop searching. 

   Today I learnt that a beautiful place shouldn't be the first option to settle for. There's always a more beautiful place that I haven't seen and that's worth going the extra mile for. 

   

   My lesson for today:

  Don't settle for comfortable! Push your limits and search for something that makes you feel more than that! Something wow. Because there's a whole world out there that awaits to be discovered and enjoyed. So why settle for the the first comfortable thing?

Day 247. The insight

   Today it was the second day of the workshop regarding family counseling for children with difficulties in school. It both trilled me and it made me sad. Really sad. Because I finally understood why I am a drama queen and why I worry about other people's opinions, why I always strive for perfection and why my brain is more negative than the others'. 

   You see, this teacher is really good at what she's doing and I felt like she opened up my eyes and made me see the world differently. She helped me understand how I can really help the kids at the kindergarten and at the end of day I know I'm happy I chose this workshop. 

   I realized I'd love to be a family counselor but in the same time I realized all my psychological issues are due to a lack of validation from my parents during adolescence. I was always the different sheep in the family: artistic, dreamy, childish. I often wanted something else and many times they couldn't understand me. So they tried to put me back on their track and make me be like them. But all they succeeded was making me feel like I can't be understood. Like I'm too different. So I always needed attention, appreciation and affection and if I didn't get it through my art I tried to get it through my marks. But they were never completely satisfied so I got stuck with the "drama queen syndrome" forever. 

   So here I am now, a weirdly molded piece of clay even if they tried to shape me into a beautiful bird. But I guess we all carry around our parents' mistakes and we'll all make our own mistakes when raising our kids. Even if we acknowledge it or not. 

   Therefore, pay attention! Remember the lesson and put into practice when the time is right. You can't change who you are now, but you can be aware of the way you interpret things and that you can change, so dare to try!:)

Day 180. Verba volant

   Oh, the guilt of having said something you regret... It floods you swiftly and it makes you want to rewind all that and be quiet during those moments. 

   I wish I didn't say that. But I did. And now I learned the lesson. That "verba volant" and that you can't take them back, that they can change your whole world  and that months of building a good impression can be destroyed in a second. 

   In the end, we all know everything happens for a reason and today I had to learn that I'm small and I still have so much to learn. So I accept the mistake, I let guilt behind and move on stronger. Because I learned my lesson that verba volant. 

   

Day 134. Mistakes

   People make mistakes. And then they learn from them. Our mistakes make us who we are at the present. They teach us good lessons like paying more attention and being more careful about planning and making decisions. They are the experience that separates us from the newbies.

   Today I took the wrong bus... for the third time in my life. I thought I had learned my lesson by now, but being impatient has its costs. This other bus led me a little farther away from home. During my walk I thought that if I had simply looked back I could have taken the right bus. A second of attention would have saved me. It could have been worse though (a fine included) so I'm happy it wasn't. I know this might have been life's way of showing me I still have to work on being patient... again and again and again until it's there, inside me and it's me who's controlling it and not the reverse. So I decide to take another step towards it and open my eyes next time. Let's see how that's gonna go.

"Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it." 

Kevyn Aucoin 

Day 88. Faith

   Today I got scared. Like most people do. I felt that things didn't go as planned. That they didn't go my way. I know... irrational thoughts. But once I make plans or decisions, I like to see them happening. And when they go their way, I get confused. Of course, I have the ability to come up with solutions or secondary plans but those feel somehow unconfortable. 

   So, there I was, in the middle of the awkward situation trying to soothe myself. Then it came to me: "Take it easy, everything happens for a reason. If things didn't go your way, a lesson might be just around the corner. Have faith, it's supposed to be happening THIS way. I know you'd like to control it, but it doesn't have to be that way. Breathe. Everything is going to be ok."

   Some say that we attract negative energies if we feel scared, angry or guilty. So, I decided to leave the bad feeling behind and I found myself smiling: "I can do this. It's gonna be ok":)

Day 20. The points go to...

 ... the kids from three different classes from the second kindergarten I'm working in:) You know the story. When kids are good and pay attention to the lesson, they receive a reward like this. Today I awarded some colored stickers for the first time in my life and I loved doing it!:) The activities were awesome, the kids were awesome, everything is awesome!:) I'm in heaven! Don't ever take me out of here!:)