Inspired

Dear diary,

   I finally figured it out. I'm not going cuckoo, I'm not bipolar and I'm not regressing to childhood. Nope. I'm INSPIRED by autumn. It's the multitude of colors, shades and the incredible light that inspires me to create. This autumn's been milder than others and its warm, sunny days and all the colorful leaves set me into the right mood for being artsie:) As a matter of fact, I surely not intend to stop here. I'm looking forward for November and I hope it'll be as sweet as in the movie:) 

   No wise saying today. I just want to enjoy this beautiful autumn while it lasts. (You and I both know how much I can't wait to go binge shopping for Christmas balls :D Today I counted the ones I have by now. Two more weeks till Christmas will start being all over the shops. Weeeeeeeeee!)

In love (with autumn),

D.

P.S. Here's my last creation :)

The oddball

   I know, you're going through that weird period in your life when your folks wants you to get married and start a family of your own instead of crafting your Halloween outfit, button trees and colored collages. 

   Yeah, you better get used to it. You're 25 and you're still a kid. And an artist. They think you're odd and they laugh when you say that out loud, but in your heart you already know that's gonna stick with you your whole life. You'll play along with your kids, you'll pick clothes, toys and DIY projects together, you'll create as long as you're breathing. Because the Creator himself gave you a little bit of him wrapped up in a sparkly gift tied up with a huge bow. You can't refuse that, can you now? How could you when the internet is full of awesome, brilliant, magnificent ideas and DIY creative projects you can't wait to dive into?:) 

   You're an artist. And that's more than a job you leave behind when you exit that door. It's imprinted in your skin and you'll wear it forever. Your own beautiful tattoo. 

   So let them speak. Let them laugh. You just keep playing a different game each day:) Feed that kid and don't ever let him grow up!:) Hear me?

Roller coasting

   Have you ever ridden a roller coaster? If you have then you know there are two options while on it: either madly laugh or scream in fear. The ride isn't smooth and you know it. There are plenty exciting going ups and just as many steep going downs. At the end of the ride, you go home bearing that photo that reminds you of your adventure. Will you be sitting somewhere alone, frightened and with a dreadful look on your face? Or will you be holding tight onto someone next to you or maybe even on that safety equipment but bear a huge grin on your face?

   Life is always going up and down. In fact, you're in a perpetual roller coaster since you're born whether you want it or not. But how you react to it and to the lack of control is what decides what happens next. You can give into that fear that bursts into your body when going down or you can close your eyes and enjoy the ride knowing that whatever happens everything will be OK in the end. 

   Sometimes... okay, many times in our life we lose control. How do you react? Do you get scared, blame someone for it and then become angry with that someone? Will anger solve your problems? Why not let it be and enjoy the things you can control? 

   I wonder why we give into fear and anger so easily... Some say it's because we don't trust ourselves and we have a low self esteem, that when we lose control while having a low self esteem it seems like the ground is shifting beneath our feet... so we start getting angry to regain that control. But that anger is just a mere illusion:) What do you think? How do you react when you can't control things?

I want you to know

   On this sunny October day I want you to know that life is never perfect, but it's always beautiful.

   That it goes on no matter how hard the journey might seem. You'll need your friends to ease that up, but you can make it.

    That you always have options. Even when you think you don't.

   That people don't change, their needs do. And sometimes there's nothing you can do to make them happy anymore. But that only means your job there is done and you have to go somewhere else and make other people happy.

   That when you're sure something will happen, life takes you by surprise and you have to move on with it... or you'll be left behind. 

   That things never last for a lifetime but they can be fixed. Or replaced.

   That people want you to listen and you want them to listen as well. Do that by taking turns or you'll end up in a mess you created yourself.

   That great effort is always rewarded. If not by others at least by yourself. You'll feel awesome!

   That you'll want your days to be longer but they'll always seem too short. Pick whatever will help you say "What an awesome day!" when you go to sleep.

   That you won't understand everything that happens to you. But you don't have to. Accept everything that comes in your life. There will be times when you'll be frustrated, but remember, there's a lesson for you at every corner.

    That you can always find a reason to be grateful. You just have to close your eyes and think.

   That there are hundreds or thousands of books written exactly for you that are waiting to be discovered. Look for them and they'll reveal themselves to you.

   That lost time doesn't come back so think about leaving something behind. Memories, photos, diaries. Record your life somewhere. You'll be thankful to rediscover it in some years.

   That money don't bring happiness. It's all in your head. You can craft or recycle instead of buying. Just use your imagination.

   That people need to be reminded how important they are to you. So let them know. 

   That if you want something, want it badly and it will come true. Be careful what you wish for, though. 

   That fear, guilt and anger will only bring bad consequences. Be at peace with yourself and with others. 

    That life is worth being explored, enjoyed, lived to the fullest. So do it! Do it now!:)

Push your luck

   Everybody's telling you to stop pushing your luck, huh? I know. I've been there too:) I even said it a few times myself. But today I discovered that if you want to get something, then boy you should go running for it. 

   I know, it sounds so cliche and tumblr written with Helvetica all over it. But it's not just the running that should make it, it's pushing your luck, really. I know, you know, everybody knows that we all long for something but sometimes we just don't wish it hard enough. Or maybe we're too scared that it might not turn out the way we want it to. Heck, forget the fear, GO for it! If it makes you feel awesome, why keep rain checking? Make it sunny already! Push your luck! 

   I pushed my luck today and guess what happened. The Universe did the rest and today was the awesomest day this month:) I kept meeting awesome people, I hugged, I smiled, I grinned with enthusiasm and then I stared in wonder. The Universe does give you what you want if you know how to ask for it:) 

   So, work it, help it, push your luck!:) See what happens! You can't be less happy than I was today, I'll give you that!;)

P.S. This is one of my main reasons of happiness right here (yup, another 365 days project, but this one I'm not sharing shhh:) )

The unexpected card

   "Close your eyes and pick one. Which one's gonna be? Now open them. Ta-raaaa!"
    Every day you pick a card from the deck. You have no idea what's waiting for you. You make plans and you know what the weather's gonna be like, but who knows if things are gonna go your way and not theirs?:)

   Maybe one day your card will bring you back to your childhood cos you'll eat the chocolate your uncle used to bring you when you were a kid, the yummiest thing ever. The next day your card might show you that you have to fight like an adult for what you want, make plans and organize and on the third day you might have to cancel them and play baby again cos you'll be sick and in need of affection. 

   My life's unexpected and I learned to like its ups and downs. But most of it, I like the fact that I have people around me who are willing to sing me "Soft kitty" when I'm sick and hug me as much as I need:) Yep, life takes me by surprise every day and yet I like this game. I wonder what tomorrow's card will bring:) 

The same steps

   People hurry all in one direction. They know where they're going. Or at least they think they do. In fact, nobody knows. We're all heading towards a destination instilled in us, somewhere we can't deny. Sometimes we stop along the way and we wonder: "Is this the right direction for me? I think I want to turn around." But even if we do, we eventually end up where we once were. I told you. It's instilled in us. 

   We're all walking the same road towards the same destination. Some walk it faster others take their time, but the steps are the same. And we're all bearing the fruits of our lost love. The holes. Microscopic or not, they are all there. Pieces of us that were stolen by him and her and him again. For those we received in exchange patches of the ones who lost us. People who fell without us asking for it. And this is how we're all walking on the road towards It with holes and patches. Blind and ignorant. We couldn't move on if we wouldn't be like that.  

   Sometimes a scent reminds us of one of the holes and we sigh. But there's no going back after we pass the golden bridge. Just straight ahead. And it's funny how sometimes we feel like strangers in our own life. Strangers who walk and walk and walk... towards The Great Unknown. All following the same steps.

Read me

   I'm no compromises, half measures and fake smiles. I give myself completely and I often lose everything. I love deeply but I never hate. And I don't know about you, but I don't like sleeping because there are so many things to enjoy wide awake. 

   I'm a lazy Sunday morning between warm sheets, a sunny autumn afternoon in the park, a starry night by the countryside. 

   I'm a loving puppy, a fearful deer, a white dove, a phoenix bird. If money wouldn't exist, you could pay me in hugs and kisses and I'd be just as happy. 

   I'm the breathtaking view on the peak of the mountain, the deepest ocean and those amazing fluffy clouds on a perfect day. 

   I'm that book with the terrific scent, the cover that makes you fall in love and the story as old as the world and still true nowadays. The story you love reading, the one that makes you forget who you are and what you're looking for. 

   I'm a child's giggle, a teenager's dreams and a mother's devotion. I'm everything and nothing altogether. The kind of nothingness you need in your life to be grateful you lived. 

   I am what you need when you're vulnerable, what you want when you're empty, what you're longing for when you're sad. 

   I am you and you are me. 

Everything happens for a reason

   These past days I learned that when life gives you lemons you should say "It's time for tequila!":) 

   It's still hard for me to accept everything and take it as it comes every time, you know? Disappointment and high expectations... I'm still dealing with those. I was told again that life doesn't have to be the way I want it to and that it can still make me happy in my most hopeless moments:) 

   I got to meet my dearest friends in a getaway at Halmeu these past days. It wasn't supposed to happen. I was to be the only one not going actually and I wasn't looking forward to that. So when I found out I would go, I was ecstatic. Cos between priceless moments with my dear ones, there was a wonderful vintage window I wanted to explore way more than I did last time I saw it. So naturally I've done some extensive research on appropriate outfits and photo ideas. I was ready. As ready as I'd ever be. I was looking forward to that moment like a kid on Christmas morning... Only it didn't happen. When we got to the awesome house we realized that the 3 years that passed since our last visit have damaged the house so much that we couldn't get inside. Or that if we did, the roof would have kept us in forever. I was upset. And hopeless. All my ideas were useless at the moment and what hurt the most was that I had to forget about the window I was seeing in front of my eyes just because I couldn't reach it. You know those weird dreams when you want to touch something so much but no matter how much you try you can't do it? Mhm, I was there. Between sighs I decided to take shots of the window alone because it was just too beautiful to move away. And then I was hopeless for the rest of the day. But life has an interesting way of turning things around and the next day I was taken some shots around the beautiful sceneries. And this is how I got to a photo of myself on a windowsill. THE windowsill:)

   Everything happens for a reason:) Even rain and awesome book events like "1010 ways of buying a book without money" on a gloomy 1st of October. 

It's autumn and we know it. But at least we got awesome books to go with it:)