365 days project 2: Day 12. Push me

   Once upon a time there was a little seed laying in the soil. The room was dark and the seed was lacking sun and water to be able to grow. So the master took the seed and put it in a different room, full of sun and warmth and watered it enough until this beautiful plant grew out of the seed and little blossoms could be seen everywhere. 

   How would the seed end up if no one would have moved it? Dead, for sure. That's how, in real life we all need "pushers", the people who make you surpass your imposed limits, the ones who push you outside your comfort zone and make you grow, be a better version of yourself.
   I met a pusher today and I was frustrated to be pushed. I really liked it in my very comfy bubble and I didn't want to step out of my comfort zone. But after some minutes I really thought about it and I realized being pushed is not so bad because it will make me grow and gain more experience. And that's how changing your mindset can change a frustrating event into a helpful one.
   We live and learn, but it wouldn't be the same without the pushers :)

365 days project 2: Day 10. Learn from your mistakes

   Mistakes. We make them daily. We hurt people without wanting, we wake up in the middle of a fight we didn't look for and we want to solve it but we can't because we are told we can't undo what we did. And that hurts us as much as it hurts them because not a single second did we think that our actions can have such wild consequences.

   People choose to feel hurt, to be victims. Sometimes no matter how much you try to explain the rational reason behind your action they won't accept it. So you let them be and you learn from your mistakes, what you did wrong to hurt them. You decide you'll be paying more attention next time because in the end some people are more sensitive than others even if they don't seem like it.

The lessons

   Dear diary,

   I learned that life takes you by surprise. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for what's coming.

   I learned that you never completely know yourself and that you have to be willing to play the beautiful unfolding game life is so you could get to know yourself a little more every day.

   I learned that we take so many things for granted and it's so hard not to once we're used to having them around.

   I learned that it's all an illusion. The mirror of Erised. And it takes a whole while till you figure that out.

   I learned that now is more important than yesterday or tomorrow, that I want to live it all before I pass away. 

   I learned that life gives us gifts of all sorts and shapes and we should always take them. Because they don't come back.

   I learned I needed 25 years to be a woman and I'm still a kid inside. I love that part of myself and I enjoy it every day.

   I learned we're complex beings, beautiful ones, full of amazing features we should use more often. We need to be true to ourselves first and then to the others.

   I learned that it's hard to have no expectations but you can train yourself not to. That life is a game where you have to accept that sometimes you win and other times you lose and know that the game always goes on no matter what... with or without you.

   I learned that life's short, so we should do what we feel like and regret nothing.

Still learning,

D.

The Game

Dear present self,

We’re all born in the middle of a Game. The difficulty level is chosen beforehand but it doesn’t even matter because we all play the same levels.

Whenever you think you’re strong, the Game proves you just how weak you can be. And then you have to play those levels over and over again until you learn the right lessons and you become strong again. But strength doesn’t come alone. You need to keep those lessons tight because you’ll need them again in the next levels.

Some levels are a piece of cake. They seem too easy to be real, and yet they’re awesome. In the end you learn to enjoy them but after a while you get bored and you wonder where the dragon is hiding. You miss fighting the dragon but then, when you actually meet him two stages later you freak out and fail.

Failure is natural. It’s a game after all. The important thing is to learn those lessons and move on wiser, be always prepared for the unexpected and embrace whatever comes with peace. You can go to the next level more easily if you try to solve the previous with a cold mind: “What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? How can you solve it?”

And then, when you least expect, the Game sends you a little clue. Take that clue and use it wisely to pass to the next level. Never give up until you finish the Game. Stay strong and keep playing!

With love,

Yourself

Dreamers

   Dear diary,

      Will we ever learn? Or will we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? 

   Will we ever choose the important over the urgent? The need over the want? Tomorrow over now? Will we choose right? 

   I'm back to square one because I chose now over tomorrow (again). And things might get out of control. But I'm telling myself they don't have to go exactly how I planned them. That I can always change, twist and bend to make it okay in the end and that my friends and family can help when everything else fails. Yep. I should remember that. I donno why they keep teaching us to succeed by ourselves. We're never alone, like they say. Not when we're born, nor when we die. 

   In the end, I guess we're dreamers who enjoy breaking the rules. Ones who know tomorrow might never come. Isn't life short anyhow? So why not take advantage of it while we still can? Why not make mistakes and challenge ourselves to fix them afterwards?:) It can be a useful process. 

With love,

The one who thinks she has everything under control 

and is always mistaken

P.S. I decided to stop making a schedule about when to write. I'll try to make it once a week, but nothing's final. I want my memories to be powerful, not just any random thing that happens. So, I guess you understand.

Day 319. Keep learning

   We learn all our life: at first what we need in order to survive and then what others think it's good to know. This is how we're taught to understand life: through other people's eyes. 

   Some of us wake up in the middle of the road and start questioning everything we know. Then we decide we want more. More than society instills in us. We want to learn what We feel is right, what We need. 

   That's when the world is separated in two: the ones who follow blindly all the steps in order to be "well integrated" and the ones who are never satisfied, who want to learn more. The ones who go out and explore, who are not afraid to admit they're different. The same ones who are excited to learn even after school ends because they like what they're learning. So we keep doing it and enjoying what we do while the others keep complaining and hating life if it doesn't give them money or power. We don't need those things to be happy. Our happiness is found in the small details, in the things we love learning because they help us live beautifully not because it's mandatory. 

   Which of the two are you? It's never too late to wake up and question everything you know. Never too late to keep learning and enjoy what you're doing:)

Day 316. Inked

   Every tattoo has its own story. And we all wear one everywhere we go. Be it a big one or a small one, a cute one or a fiery one. Somewhere hidden or in plain sight. Shameful or with pride. We're all inked for life and we can't erase our tattoo no matter how much we want it some days. Though, we can look at it and learn. Learn that life has to go on no matter what. And that we're braver and more powerful than we thought. 

   So let's wear our tattoo with pride. Let's show the world that we're at peace with our past and ready to step, fearless, into the future.

Day 310. The short road

   ... isn't always the best for you. My family and I found that the hard way today but at least we learned our lesson:)

   I also learned that it's not ok to push things the way you want. They just won't work all the time. And that's when you'll be disappointed. So better consider your options and sometimes take the long road instead. It will be smoother and it will give you time to enjoy the ride properly. Sure, it will have its bumps now and then, but you'll take them one by one and you'll surpass them more easily thinking about the destination that you're looking forward to achieve. 

   The long road is the vivid representation of life. It has its ups and downs, but it's mostly smooth if you learn to be patient enough. If you don't, it will just seem endless and you'll always want to take the short one instead. But then life will bring you back to the lesson you need to learn: the short road isn't always the best for you:)


P.S. Remember this:

Day 304. Same old lesson

   Did you ever wonder why you're going through the same situations again and again? Did you ever wonder "Why me?" "Why now?" "Why again?" The answer to all those is:

   It's hard to realize that you didn't learn your lesson the previous time. And it's even harder to admit you have to go through it all over again and somehow find the right skills in order to pass the test. But don't worry, that's why you have friends around:) Remember, all fairy tale heroes had their helpers and that's how they succeeded:) 

   One more thing! Don't worry if you fail again cos...

Day 294. Getting started

   ... is always tough. Most starts are full of anxiety and lack of motivation. At least the ones when you know you gotta learn 500 pages by heart in a month. Yeah, it sounds like a lot of time, but when procrastination is your best friend, well... it's kinda hard to make it work:) 

   There's an age when you just can't study like you used to. That age when you'd rather work than study. The age of maturity. Sounds so final but I guess it's true. It's been 20 years since I started learning stuff so I guess my brain wants some rest. But you know what they say, if you gotta do it, you gotta do it. 

   So here I am starting to study. At first my mind goes "squirrel" every 5 minutes and I even catch myself daydreaming now and then but...

   ... so everything has a purpose I guess:) 

   My lesson today: The start is always tough but once you've started to walk/run/study, it's not that bad after all. Until it's way too much. But that's why breaks were invented:) So use them wisely;)

Day 180. Verba volant

   Oh, the guilt of having said something you regret... It floods you swiftly and it makes you want to rewind all that and be quiet during those moments. 

   I wish I didn't say that. But I did. And now I learned the lesson. That "verba volant" and that you can't take them back, that they can change your whole world  and that months of building a good impression can be destroyed in a second. 

   In the end, we all know everything happens for a reason and today I had to learn that I'm small and I still have so much to learn. So I accept the mistake, I let guilt behind and move on stronger. Because I learned my lesson that verba volant. 

   

Day 75. One of those movie moments

   Today I had my last class with the kids from my high school. It was ambivalent. Very nice and rewarding but also very intense and full of shouting too. We had some activities together and they went by just as you would expect some 4th graders to react at 2 PM after a day of classes. Nevertheless, at some point, close to the ending of the day, they  all broke into a noisy mess. It was more than I could normally handle. And I showed it to them by ending everything we were doing. They immediately noticed and I could read on their faces that they were sorry. But I couldn't just leave it at that. They wouldn't have learned anything yet. So I went on and after some moments of complete silence, I told them what I felt. That I was sorry we had to end our meetings like that... being upset and not happy and thankful. And then I let them go home. So they started packing their schoolbags and then they slowly left the room. I started being disappointed that they didn't really feel sorry for what they did for leaving like that.  

   Some minutes passed and while I was thinking about what had just happened questioning myself if I did the right thing, the door opened slowly and, ashamed, all the children stepped inside and told me with a cute guilty face that... they were sorry. One of the girls was teary and that moved me very much. It made me almost cry. They did learn their lesson in the end. 

   Sometimes it's all about taking the right decisions at the right time for people to learn something valuable. So today, I was the bad teacher, but that moment when they came back regretting, that was one of those moments you can only see in movies:)

Day 22. Optimism

   Even though today it rained almost all day I gazed at one of the most beautiful sunrises I've seen:) The sun was rising so carefree not minding the gloomy clouds above. I liked that. It was something like "If you're optimistic, no matter how hard the times will be, you can go through." 

   We should learn something from everything we see around us. Sometimes the details count more than the bigger picture.