I need you to need me

Dear diary,

   Life's short. We all know it. Before dying, some people like to leave behind some wise sayings they developed after an eventful life. I'm not there yet, but I found something pretty important already. After deep conversations with some friends and watching a lot of Breaking Bad lately, I realized that what we all really need in life is not money or any kind of earthly possesions but to be needed, appreciated, loved and valued just the way we are, without future alterations. Nobody wants to be borrowed, rented or stolen and then given back, sold or left on a forgotten shelf somewhere. We're not objects. We're human beings. We have a soul and needs. And the most important one is that we all need to be needed. We lose our grounds when somebody makes us feel replaceable, insignificant, not enough. When we don't match the expectations. And that's what breaks us all. Not being enough. 

   It's so easy to fall down and remain there for the rest of our life. So easy to keep finding reasons to not believe in ourselves when we could be looking for reasons to stand up and go on. Our brain is too complicated to comprehend. I gave up trying after I found out evolution plays a huge part of it. 

   Even though, no matter what happens, we'll always try to be a part of something, of someone's life. We're social beings, so don't blame us, it's in our nature. But what should we do when we feel we're not enough? I think we should take our time, as much as we need, licking our wounds in that deep, dark pit and when we're ready, stand up and try to give this weird, complicated maze a meaning. Find something that keeps us alive and a ball of yarn to unfold and play with while we're discovering the meaning of it all. Learn from our past mistakes and never give up even if we feel like doing it. Never stop playing the game even if it feels too hard to solve. We're here to grow wise, not to die mediocre. 

   We can do so much more than we think we can. We're so powerful and yet, we don't know it. Because we're afraid to see our true self. If we just stepped out of the shades and into the sun letting it fill us with its warmth, we'd see life in a whole different light. So why lay in the shades for the rest of our life? Why be afraid when there's so much more to experience out there? And so many reasons to love ourselves in the first place. Because, just like the old saying goes, if you like yourself the others will like you too. And don't we all like to be liked? :)

Hopeful,

D.

Loading adulthood

   Dear diary,

   Sometimes I wish I could understand everything that's happening to me. I know it all has a reason, but I don't know THE reason. Life seems so complicated lately. Being an adult involves a lot of serious long term decisions that you need to take not knowing where they lead you. 

   They say you should take every day as it comes and I'm trying to do that but unlike all the previous years 2014 is definitely gonna make it or break it. Full of important life changing events that will outline my future path, it surely puts a lot of pressure on my shoulders. 

   I don't know about others, but I tend to feel kinda lost lately. Yeah, I know who I am and what I like, but I don't know what's gonna happen next. Who does, anyway? 

   So here's to an interesting 2014 that I'm certainly looking forward to experience! I'm sure life will continue to give me unexpected gifts exactly when I need them the most. 

 

Loading adulthood ...

D.

Day 287. Wishing out loud

"Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it"

   It's not the first time it happens to me. And even though, each time I'm more and more surprised and can't figure out how this works. I simply wish for something and I get EXACTLY what I wanted. German precision:) The thing is that today nothing bad happened but ... who knows what's next? From my experience, a mere wish can turn into a bloody mess. I guess I was lucky today:)

   My best friend simply wished for something too. And she got the awesome outcome of the saying. Because now she'll enjoy her "oh-so-wished" thingie without even hoping it would ever get true. 

   So, yeah, wish out loud, but think about it first!:) You never know...

Day 242. The help

   We give pieces of advice every day, some because we're asked for and some because we want to prevent something bad from happening. 

   I get it, we care about our close ones and we want them to be happy, but many times we give advice generalizing our experience into an absolute truth. So we tell people what to do, forgetting to take into consideration that they are not us and they have free will. I mean, giving pieces of advice is OK, but we shouldn't expect people to closely follow our ideas. Also, we should prepare that our advice might not always be the best. 

   Giving an advice is tricky. You never know if it will help or actually do harm so it's better to let people take decisions alone, because the answer always lays inside of us. We're just too afraid to admit its presence and follow it. 

   So let's rather follow our inner intuition and be more cautious when asking for and giving a piece of advice.

Day 67. The road is long

   Sometimes all we want to say is "It's too much." Some situations exceede our knowledge and we're left behind with no idea how to get out of there. Well, it's a long way to wisdom and experience helps a lot. You can't pretend to know it all from the beginning, even if you have theoretical knowledge of how things should work. It's no rule it will. 

   What we could do is get out of the self pity mood we're in and try to solve the situation without complaining. Complaining doesn't help. It just gets you stuck there. So, get up and look for answers. You'll be amazed to find out that many times the answer is within you.