365 days project 2. Day 58. Flowers just bloom

   We compare ourselves to the others every single day. And not for the better. We don't learn from them. Not all the time. Rather we see what they have and we don't, be it looks, wealth, power, social position and so on. We want what they have and we start longing for a better life, a happier existence, an improved version of ourselves that we will never become. 

   

   Flowers don't care that they are merely daisies when colorful, fragrant, imposing roses live next door. Or that most people buy tulips. Or that peonies and poppies are all over the internet when they bloom because their life is so short and condensed it has to be remembered. Nope. Daisies just bloom, doing what they know best. Shouldn't we do the same?

   We're not perfect. We don't have the perfect, flawless personality, the perfect life and the perfect career. What if we start accepting ourselves and our life just the way it is right now and enjoy what we have? 

   You want more? Work hard until you get it but when you reach your goal stop and ask yourself "Is this really making me happy or is it an illusion so that I would look good in other people's eyes?" 

   We're not perfect so let's stop worrying and start blooming :) 

The Game

Dear present self,

We’re all born in the middle of a Game. The difficulty level is chosen beforehand but it doesn’t even matter because we all play the same levels.

Whenever you think you’re strong, the Game proves you just how weak you can be. And then you have to play those levels over and over again until you learn the right lessons and you become strong again. But strength doesn’t come alone. You need to keep those lessons tight because you’ll need them again in the next levels.

Some levels are a piece of cake. They seem too easy to be real, and yet they’re awesome. In the end you learn to enjoy them but after a while you get bored and you wonder where the dragon is hiding. You miss fighting the dragon but then, when you actually meet him two stages later you freak out and fail.

Failure is natural. It’s a game after all. The important thing is to learn those lessons and move on wiser, be always prepared for the unexpected and embrace whatever comes with peace. You can go to the next level more easily if you try to solve the previous with a cold mind: “What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? How can you solve it?”

And then, when you least expect, the Game sends you a little clue. Take that clue and use it wisely to pass to the next level. Never give up until you finish the Game. Stay strong and keep playing!

With love,

Yourself

When I'm gone

   Dear diary,

   I had so much to chew upon these last days, but the most striking thing that still follows me like a shadow is this girl's death. She was a 26 year old blogger, a writer to a fashion magazine, a woman, a girl, a beautiful being. And it's sad to use the past when talking about her. Even if I never knew her in person and I barely discovered her blog right the night before she passed away, I put myself in her shoes from the first line I read on her blog. I identified myself with her because of how and what she used to write. And I agree with her: "I am sure life is a big fat lesson". So now I ask myself: "What if it were me instead of her?" "What if today I'm crafting my Advent calendars and tomorrow something happens and ... Boom. I'm just not here anymore." 

   You know, people keep telling us life is short, but we live like we're immortal. After this blogger's episode I feel like waking up from a long dream and realizing life IS short. Freakin' short. And if you think about it, so many people don't fully live their age. We listen to society pushing us here and there, being this way or that way, doing this or that, but who are we really? 

   Here I am, folding paper and enjoying it. I love crafting. And I love the fact that I discovered it now, while I'm 25, not married and without kids. I am well aware that when the time will be right, I won't have the free time I have now. So why does society keep pressing us to move on with the tide when we want to wait for the right tide? 

   I want to enjoy every age and dream out loud. And when I die I want to die smiling. Knowing that I did everything I could to enjoy life at its best, love people, heal people and the world around me. Life is short. Even if we get to reach 70.
  Let's fully enjoy our age and later on be happy at the memory of every step taken. Let's be thankful for every little thing we have in our life. Better yet, let's be thankful for what we don't have as well. Because everything happens for a reason and "life is a big fat lesson"...

D.

Day 323. Different yet so alike

   People are funny when it comes to studying for an exam. Nobody likes to study but we all find something to make us do it after all.

   Some start early because they want to make sure they make it to the deadline and they're very organized when it comes to setting goals and achieving them. They're the ones who, somehow, find something to like in everything they study and so they're usually the bullied ones. The ones who spend their days studying their heads off and end up saying "why am I the only one studying?" However, after the exam, we all know they take the highest grades. And believe me, sometimes grades do make a difference in our life.

   Others start at some random point when they feel it's the right time or maybe when they are reminded they have an upcoming exam. They're not really driven to study, but they do it anyway because afterwards they'll get some sort of reward. These are the majority of the people. If they were in the right spot (school, university, work place of their choice) they'd like what they would be doing so they'd study early. Nevertheless, it's a good thing they find something to keep them going.

   The last category starts studying a couple of days before the actual exam when they realize they can't procrastinate anymore. They say they don't want to forget what they just studied but we all know that's a lie. They are the ones who start studying only because they know they have to. They hate it and so they try to cram it up and hope to God they'll be given one of the two subjects they took a glimpse at. Sometimes they're lucky, other times they're not.

   The thing is that right before the exam we all magically remember we don't like studying and therefore only two options will be available for everybody: we either feel like we don't know anything or we don't care anymore and we just want it to be over so we could start enjoying our life again.

   I know, I shouldn't complain since I love what I'm doing and I sometimes enjoy what I'm reading for the exam, but you know, we all get there. To the point where we say "No more!" And that's when people who have studied for 2 months take a break and do whatever they want because they can afford it and then they face the exam knowing they'll handle it no matter what. I know. It's gonna be ok. So tomorrow I'm taking a break:) 

Day 234. Forget-it-not

   You know I believe in finding sense and significance in everything that happens to me. So when I saw the first forget-me-not flowers of the year the same day I watched a blind child amazingly sing a song in the "Next Star" show and deaf teens do an awesome dance in "Romania is dancing", it all made sense. 

   It made me look around more carefully and observe every little detail that changed in the nature since I last visited it. It made me want to "forget-not" my day by day experiences, my time with my family, eating grilled mushrooms for the first time or the fact that my boyfriend actually gets along with my dad. 

   Every little detail counts. And, as much as it sounds like a cliché, I felt that today I should be thankful. Thankful for having peace within my family, an amazing boyfriend who's also my best friend and health to enjoy every little speck of life that's in and around me. So I choose to "forget-not" every day that passes by me, be it one that brings tears and lessons to be learned or one that brings smiles and joy. I feel like I don't want to forget anything and that's why this blog is helping me so much. I bet it sounds all cheesy and dramatic, but for me, it's the world. Having the ability to go back in my life and see how I was and what happened to me back then, it's exactly what I'm looking for. 

   So I guess I could say one of my life-purposes is not to forget the good moments, be a better person, help the others and in the end die with a smile knowing that I lived beautifully.

Day 177. The good old past

   People always say that the past haunts you, that it's bad and that you have to stop thinking about it and move forward towards the future. But little do they know that the good old past can remind you who you really are and can help you find missing links when you have those moments wondering "Who am I and what am I doing here?" 

   Today I felt happy because I could catch up with my good old TV shows and I laughed my ass off with my favorite characters. I had forgotten how good those TV shows were. When you're caught up in the go-to-work-come-home circle you sometimes lack the time to enjoy your usual habits... and today I could do just that. And that's how I realized the present me can embrace the past me and enjoy life together. Because life isn't starting again every morning, it's a mere sequel of a lot of yesterdays:) And I like the choices I made yesterday. So here's to the good old past:)

Day 106. Wait for it

   I hate waiting for it! I love Barney (from "How I met your mother" TV show) but today I was forced to wait for someone and I didn't like it. I hoped the courier would come sooner but he didn't and it was important since my prize was about to be delivered to me and I wanted to share the joy with other people who might have been waiting for me too! Ah, this chain of depending on someone! It's one of the things I hate the most. I want to be able to control my own life and when I can't do that... well, it's pretty nasty for me. 

   But as we all know it, all's well that ends well:) And so it did. And now I can really start enjoying the holiday that is about to begin and last for 3 looong weeks!:)

Day 105. Sharing the joy

   Today I got an awesome present from my best friend and on the top of it I got the chance to decorate the Christmas tree with her!:D I felt so special! Carols were playing in the background, we were catching up and sharing the joy of this beautiful holiday that lays ahead of us: Christmas!:) Oh dear, I really enjoy it because, most of all, it brings people together and it makes them happy! 

    I wish we'd all remember that Jesus was born and how important that is for mankind but also enjoy being with our family and loved ones instead of just seeing it as a drag. We should enjoy things while we still have them and instead of missing them like crazy after they're gone...