Not a girl, not yet a woman

   School has officially started and I find myself caught in the middle of an emotional carousel: longing, melancholy, nostalgia all slowly mixed together in a tiny jar. 

   I go to work every morning and I see kids and teens going to school and I remember: I miss being in high school, being a student:) And this is when that universal saying comes true. When you're a kid all you want is to grow up already and by the time you're a grown up you just wanna go running back to childhood... or adolescence, as awkward as that might sound. 

   Yeah, sure, teenage period was kinda weird and difficult to handle because you want so many things but your hands are tied while you have no idea who you are and what you're actually looking for:) But man, that journey of discovering the world and myself was awesome! Having more friendships that I could handle, discovering photography and writing, learning that I love psychology. It all happened back then. And this is just the tip of the iceberg:) 

   I miss those times and as much as I know that every stage of life should be enjoyed for its particular benefits, I can't help myself, really:) I just see them so sleepy and confused, chatting out loud with their friends, taking life NOT seriously and it makes me smile:) I was once like them. And now I'm here. Who would have thought?:) 

   I used to love this expression while I was a teen: "not a girl, not yet a woman". Well, a woman sometimes misses being in between:) Because life isn't as metaphorical and full of sense as we think it is. Many times it's just random. And we give it meaning by finding role models around us. People who inspire us, who, through their stories, help us understand that even if random, life is worth living and that longing is a natural feeling. (I love you, Kirsty Mitchell! Thank you for showing me that!) 

   So I'll miss school some more days and then I'll go back to playing with the kids:) Because adult life is just as awesome for me:) I'm that lucky!

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* Kirsty Mitchell is one of my favorite photographers. She puts life in a box and takes amazing photos of it while playing with the toys inside:) I can only aspire to resemble her sometime:)

Day 196. Where to?

   When we're little we think about the toys we want to play with, our friends from the kindergarten or the cartoons we're going to watch when we get home. When we grow up we start thinking about our future. At first, it's the immediate future: the high school or university we want to attend, the friends we want to have and that ideal relationship that we want to last forever. When we're working we inevitably think about the distant future: a family, a place of our own, a kid. 

   It's interesting how things evolve over time. And it's a bit scary when you have to plan your whole life ahead and know you have to take the best decisions, choose the best option when everything seems so insecure. But that's why we have the internet and friends for. To ask them what they think and start from there. And then hope for the best and learn to be flexible. Change plans whenever they seem not to work anymore. And never lose hope. Believe everything is going to be ok, no matter how twisted the labyrinth might be. 

   And in the end everything comes true. And we'll see "where to?" was just a question that made us start a whole new chapter in our life: the best one:)