365 days project 2. Day 72. Beautiful encounters

  I love those days when beautiful encounters happen when you expect them the least. I get so inspired by meeting creative, sunny, wonderful people! They make me believe that the world is still a good place to live in. And today was one of those amazing days :) I had my first henna tattoo made and the decision definitely brought sun in my life: literally and figuratively :)

  As I was thinking about the beautiful encounters and how happy a simple henna tattoo can make you feel, tonight I had this revelation: our life is a real hourglass and the sand in it is moving fast. We're all going to die at some point even if we don't like to think about it. The conclusion? Do whatever you can to make sure you would pass away at peace with yourself and with the idea of dying. When you feel you want something so bad but "you shouldn't", that's when you should go for it! This doesn't involve buying a fifth pair of shoes though :))

   Let today be a day of reflection for you too. If a henna tattoo makes you happy, go for it! Do whatever will make you happy. Life is short and it's definitely worth living! :)

365 days project 2. Day 48. Perfect-ation

   Being a parent is very hard. The hardest job you ever take on. I don't have to be a parent to realize that. Working with them daily for the past 4 years helped me know them very well by now. And this is what I saw:

  Generally, parents want the best for their kids. Many of them want their children to do what they couldn't do, have what they couldn't have and all in all, have a better life than they had growing up. Everything sounds very good in theory but practice is very difficult. 

   As a parent, when you want your child to have a better life than yours, you will have the tendency to force him to do things he might not want to because you already played this game called life and you know the stages. If you do so, not only you are forcing him to go in a certain direction and you forget to be mindful of what he wants, but you will also have sky high expectations of him. And when you want him to be perfect, he will fail. He will fall and he will break and he will break you. Because flowers might be perfect but people will never get there. 

   So, as long as parents have perfection expectations of their kids and they treat them like their favorite toys and not human beings with their own will, needs and desires, everybody's life will be harder. Not to mention, kids might grow up and become something their parents wanted but not what they wanted. Who's going to suffer more? The parent or the child? What about both?

   Parents want the best for their kids. But they tend to forget their children have their own personality, their own desires and that they are not identical copies of them. This is the trickiest challenge parents have to overcome. If they do that, their kids won't be perfect, but they will surely be happy :) And when you're happy, who cares you're not perfect? :)

Note to self: Read this again when you become a parent yourself!

365 days project 2: Day 18. Let's be childlike

 

   A child's world is very small. He only knows what he loves: his family, his toys, his buddies at the kindergarten and that's all he needs to be happy. An adult's world is bigger. Way bigger. It involves many responsabilities, wishes, hopes and needs, taxes, parents of his own, kids, a house and so many more. A parent's happiness is always different from that of their child. He eagerly awaits for the night to come and the kids to go to sleep so that he can enjoy some time for himself. But in all this daily rush people forget that every child is a blessing and that we should be thankful for them and learn from them... how to be very honest but also how to give compliments without expecting anything in return, how to love without boundaries, how to ask for what we want until we get it and how to love life without regrets. 

   For kids there's only today. No yesterday and no tomorrow. Let's learn from them and be happy we have them around. They are all little gems that can make our day more beautiful if only we allow them to :)

365 days project 2: Day 15. One year

   Today it's exactly one year since Oliver and I moved in together and my feelings are 180 degrees opposite from what they were 365 days ago. 

   I was crying after my parents left. I realized I will no longer live with them, under the same roof, ever again. So even if we had phones and skype and visits, it would never be the same. I wanted this move for at least 10 years and when I finally got it I realized what it actually meant and tears formed in my eyes. Sure, we've been through highs and lows with my parents but they were always my best friends and this time I was completely on my own. Ok, maybe sharing everything with Oliver, but they weren't there to help me with absolutely everything. I wasn't afraid that I didn't know how to cook (God knows I love doing that even though years ago I saw cooking as a MUST not as a passion), or that I didn't know how to wash clothes, dishes and clean my home (my parents taught me that plenty of times) or not even that I don't know how to fix things because I knew the internet had the answers to anything and my dad was just a phone call away. I was ready to fly away from the parental nest, but the emotional side of it has never occured to me until I actually saw myself closing the door behind my parents. It hurt. But it was bittersweet, you know? Because I knew my life was just beginning and I was VERY excited to finally live it according to my own rules, without any sort of boundaries or curfews.

   And so it was. I had this apartment in front of me, this little part of Cluj that reminded me so much of my buni and my childhood years, all my giggles and games I played with my brother, and these memories gave me more enthusiasm to really make this place mine... ours. Since I always loved interior design and I had a file in my computer full of photos for inspiration for my own home I started putting into practice all those ideas I always loved. I handcrafted some decorations, I put an artistic touch all around the apartment and I realized I really loved seeing butterflies and owls everywhere and that's how the apartment became known as the Butterfly Home or rather The Owl Residence. I now have a lot of butterflies and all shapes of owls (including a candle) around and many, many candles in the big room. I can truly say that this year has helped me decorate my dream home, that place that makes me feel relaxed and in my own element every time I step inside. A vase with fresh flowers always by the entrance, the fluffy pillows on the sofa, the Klimt painting on the wall and lately the leafy curtain are everything I need to feel at HOME. Ah, home, what an amazing feeling!

   Oli and I were the best team starting day 1. We have always worked very well together and we are very good at planning dishes, parties, cleaning and washing and whatnot. We see each other mainly in the evenings and during weekends, but that's the normal standard nowadays anyway so we compensate by random love messages throughout the day. This way we keep the love and passion alive. Love, such a humble yet amazing feeling! I don't think I could have lived away from Oliver for much longer and this move has definitely turned us into husband and wife even before the actual wedding. One year later and we're still a great team, we love each other more and more (and I'm not just saying it because it sounds good, I swear!) and I'm more sure than ever that this move has been the best decision yet. I am definitely the happiest woman alive! 

 

365 days project 2: Day 9. Good day

   When we are kids we see life as an endless field covered in snow: white. In the first years we receive. And receive. And receive. Information, love, attention, gifts. When we start growing up we are taught we have to give back too. Life turns black. So many things we HAVE to give, so many rules to obey, so many people asking things from us. Teenage years. When we become adults we realize life is definitely not just white or black but that it has those "50 shades of grey" in it. We have to go through countless experiences to reach that wise destination, but I am hopeful that most of us do. 

   Now, about that white in there though. I don't want to think that as we grow up we lose our faith in humanity and world in general. We all keep our inner child with us and we are all happy when something good happens to us. And something good happens every day. These are the things that made me happy today:

1. I received an unexpected "just because" gift full of things that I like very much.

2. The kids at the kindergarten liked my activity and they were brave to accomplish a rather difficult task.

3. I had a very deep one-on-one conversation with a 6 year old.

4. I had a very good talk with the principal.

5. I received a very touching praise from a girl's granny.

6. I bought a new bag! Yahoo!

7. I found out that next week I'll start the dancing lessons for the wedding!

8. I caught the bus just in time.

What made YOU happy today? 

365 project 2: Day 3. Changing the world

   Today I thought about change. I talked about it so many times before. I thought about it just as many times late at night in bed or randomly during the day in my office or on a bench outside. Change doesn't happen suddenly, just like I said yesterday. We need time and determination. Motivation to change.

   We influence one another every single day. Do we need to change ourselves for the world? I think we do. At least when we realize something is going wrong, when something WE are doing has bad consequences, it hurts people and it prevents them from being happy around us... as lovers, parents, siblings or friends. 

   We all have light and darkness inside of us and we can choose. Do we let the Hulk get out and ruin our friendships and our relationships or do we keep it under control and we start working on ourselves FIRST and then expect people to change instead of the other way around. Change must come from within.

                Think about it. What would you change about yourself in order to change the world?

*Painting made by my best friend, Julia

The lessons of a 27 year old

Dear diary,

   Today I turn 27. This is for sure an age I never thought about when I was a child and thought of "when I grow up". It was all vague in my mind but I somehow always saw myself as being 20. Today, however, I keep blooming.

   It's funny how ages and their meaning changed over the past decade. Today, being 27 IS like being 20. Just finished master degree and started working 3 years ago, compared to our parents who would have been married with kids by this age. Either way, I enjoy it so much more consciously now. 

   Every birthday brings a slight change, but this one, I believe, brought the most of them :) Since last year, I moved in with my fiancé! It sounds small, but it's really big actually. This time last year I was involved in a beautiful new relationship, but I surely didn't have a fiancé and I was still living with my parents! So talk about a change, eh? (By the way, dear diary, I say "Eh" a lot now, VERY Canadian of me! Today I'm finally applying for my first tourist visa for Canada, so I say I'm pretty ready to go :D)

   The reason why I actually wanted to write to you and mark this milestone is because I want to remember what I learned until now, in all these years. Maybe it will help me later on :)

   I learned that...

   You need amazing parents in order to become an amazing person and even the most amazing parents can sometimes make parenting mistakes. At the end of the day, they all somehow instill in us their fears as we will instill our fears in our kids. It's inevitable, but still something we can control if we aknowledge it. But what we need most as kids is LOVE, ATTENTION and APPRECIATION. If we believe we are valuable to our parents and they are willing to share their TIME with us, playing, talking about life and learning together, if they show INTEREST, then our childhood is going to be the BEST. With or without a lot of money, toys and whatnot. At the end of the day, Love conquers all. 

   I learned that life brings you friends that come and go and that's okay. But the most important are the ones who stay because they want to and the ones who stay because YOU pick them. Always choose the ones who make you happy and who teach you lessons: lessons of trust, neverending love, forgiveness and honesty. You won't always love your friends to the bits. Sometimes, you won't agree with something they do or say. But still love them, because they need that. And that's what you'll get in return. Because what goes around comes around.

   I learned that if you're giving, you shall receive. The same amount of love, and care, and appreciation. And sometimes it can be overwhelming and you'll wonder if you deserve it, but believe me, YOU DO, because if you were a giver you will also be a receiver :)

   I learned that teenage period is full of unanswered questions and crushes and worry about school and the future, but if you have a supportive family and the right friends around you, everything is going to be OKAY. Yes, you shall cry and miss those unrequited love stories or boyfriends who broke up with you without understanding why. It will stay with you your whole life, but you shouldn't let it get the better of you. Life moves on and you will move on with it.

   I learned that life is not as short as I expected. During my childhood and teenage period I heard about a lot of young people dying. It doesn't mean that's it's SO often that it will happen to You or your loved ones. And even if it does, at some point, be careful that you live fully until then so that when it does happen to you, you can have that "I lived it all, thank you, life" feeling :)

   I learned that life is not always fair. Many times you won't understand things that happen to you, but you somehow need to find the resilience to explain to yourself in your own way what happened and find the strength to go on. And then, in those moments, KNOW that it could ALWAYS be worse and you have dear ones around you to help you move on.

   I learned that we all have beautiful gifts inside us. Our talents. And we should exploit them when the time is right without caring what the others say. If you feel you want to do it, then do it! Show the world what you're good at and try to always improve!

   I learned that people will judge now and then and you won't be liked by everybody and that's okay. As long as you love yourself, everything is going to be okay because THIS is the secret of moving on. You need to find the power to love yourself with all the faults you have. I know you live with yourself 24/7, but try. And always thank for the compliments you receive. Don't turn them around. Believe. In. Yourself!

   I learned that love comes when you least expect. And that you don't have just ONE soulmate on this planet. There are people who match you more or less, but who still have common things with you. They will make you happy, very happy but some shorter periods than others. And the one who matches you the best will make you happy forever and ever :) You will KNOW when you find him so you don't have to stress about not knowing. I believe there's a biological button somewhere in there that tells you the time is right. And you will feel that you were meant to be together.

   I learned that most (if not all) of those cheesy motivational quotes are TRUE and that life is so much more surprising than the movies. 

   I learned that you will want to look back to your life and it's wonderful to have a blog or diaries to read when you do that. So keep writing, keep documenting, keep sharing. Because some things you write can help others and when you hear that you will be the happiest.

   I learned that flowers and kids can lift your spirit on a bad day and that very good food will always inspire you to cook more. 

   I learned that ALL DREAMS come true if you strongly believe in them and if you keep thinking about them. 

   I learned that no matter his shape, there IS a God out there and someone up there ALWAYS loves you. 

   I could write a book, dear diary, and maybe someday I will :) But today I'll stop here and I'll go enjoy my birthday :)

With love and excitement,

D.

  

It is done

Dear diary,

   The emotions I feel right now are so strong that I felt I should tell you all about it. It is done. My family and some dear family friends helped us move all Oliver's and my stuff into my grandma's apartment. We worked a whole lot, it was a reaaaally long day but boy have we succeeded to do so many things! 

   My dad asked me earlier today when I started dreaming about this. I said it was at least 10 years ago. It's been so long since I wanted to have my own little place that I can call home. All my close friends got the chance to move out so I was really looking forward to my own experience. 

   I'm a really good planner. The man helping me transport my boxes said so himself. So I've been planning this for as long as my dad gave us the OK. I had a lot of pictures in my head of how I wanted my place to look like. All this inspired by tons of photos I saw on Pinterest and other interior decoration websites. So I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted vintage but classy, romantic but cute, comfy and really cozy. I was really happy when after so many hours of work, I saw that my dream came true today. I really have the best home I could ever have. The surroundings of the block of flats are so relaxing, and the place itself has so much meaning to me. I have a lot of good childhood memories here. And I will also never forget my grandma's eggplant salad. I loved it so much that it made me think: if people remember me for one single thing that I did absolutely wonderfully (like her eggplant salad) then my life would be all worth it. So, even if she was a very simple countryside girl, my grandma did so many good things in her life and educated my dad and me and my brother so well that... here I am today. She was definitely my dearest grandma ever and I am so lucky to have the chance of living in her old apartment. Not to mention the fact that I am 5 minutes away of my former highschool. The one I breathed for, the one I absolutely loved. I am a very sentimental person and when objects or places have a sentimental value, they are really dear to me. So this is why this little apartment is definitely the most wonderful home I could have. I'm crying as we speak, but know, dear diary, that these are tears of joy, of longing and of deep affection. Towards my grandma, my life and everything in it. 

   But there is another side to this story. The one that means that living on my own means living apart from my family. I know we're only 20 minutes away, but the emotional separation is stronger than the actual one. I've never ever lived away from them more than 2 weeks last year during summer camp. So tonight, when they went home I looked at them and started tearing up. I wanted to take a picture of them to remember this very intense moment but for some reason I didn't. I still remember their faces though. My dad was really tired after so much work but my mom was very happy for me. So happy and proud. I will still see them a lot from now on, because I'm a family girl and I can't stay away from them, but this is exactly why it felt so sad to say goodbye to living with them. 

   So now you know how I feel. I'm still crying, but they are still good tears. I'm living my dream and I wouldn't change ANYTHING about when and how things happened. The fact that I moved out now, 4 months after getting engaged to the most wonderful being on Earth, makes it more and more intense. 

   I am living my dreaaaaaaam!

Teary and happy,

D.

Changing the world

Dear diary,

   Everyone has an ultimate purpose in their life: maybe being happy, having a beautiful family of their own, being rich and popular, creating something truly beautiful or maybe changing the world, like I do. We all want something big while we're here. The top of our list. The thing we work for, strive for, dream about. I want to heal the world, as cheesy as it might sound. I want to help people, make their lives better, change their way of thinking, make them happy. Not just for now, but on the long term. I want to see people who love each other and who live a long, happy life. I know it might sound like a utopia in today's society, but when you're working as a psychologist, you can see that happening in bits and pieces of what you're trying to do. The problem is that working in a kindergarten has its perks but also its disadvantages. You can't see the kid on the long term. He graduates and he goes away. You don't know how much you actually helped. If you helped. Working with small kids is a neverending challenge. Today, they may be quiet, obeying and pay attention to what you want to teach them and know they actually learned something but tomorrow you might feel like an alien on a different planet and no matter how you try to make yourself understood, you can't do it. They just don't seem to want to listen. Because what they truly want is to PLAY. And it's all natural. Because they're KIDS.

   I've had a feeling of helplessness lately. The feeling that makes you question your very existence. "Am I actually making a change here? Do I actually HELP or do I keep trying in vain and nothing changes? What should I do next? How should I take this failure?" But then I realized you can't change the whole world in a single day. God took 6 days to build it. He didn't rush. He simply took His time. So why should I? Why do I tend to fall into the parents' expectations of being a doctor who serves a pill that makes their kids perfectly adapted and well behaved? I can't do that no matter how hard I try and if I keep wishing for sudden, huge changes I will never see that. As a wise friend said recently, I might not change the world in the kindergarten but at least I put the kids in the right direction. And that helps too, right? The fact that they ALL want to jump on me, hugging me EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to visit them, the fact that they say "I love you, Dana" and "I'm so happy to see you" already gives me a feedback of a job well done. No matter how the kids actually perceive the help I wanted to give them. At least they show appreciation. Which means I'm not that far from what I actually wanted. I am making the tiniest differences in their small worlds, and I should be satisfied with THAT. I should accept that small changes are still changing the world. That doing the best I can with what I have NOW is good too. So, for a while now, I choose to give up on my performance anxiety and just keep doing what I do and be happy to see all my kids HAPPY. In the end, that's my ultimate purpose, right? 

Mental self note: See the bigger picture! Don't get lost in the small details!

Hopeful,

D.

The happy song

Dear diary,

   I've never been so happy in my life and it's so sad to see that some people think I might be faking it. I couldn't be happier, really. 

   Every day I wake up feeling more and more thankful and more and more in love with my life: I have my dream job, I'm loved and I love, I'll get to travel (finally! I picked up my first passport ever yesterday) and sooo many beautiful things happened to me this year and will surely happen from now on! I feel like I'm at the peak of my life. I didn't think it's possible to be happier every day, but I'm living it right now so I gotta believe it.

   There are many times lately when I find myself daydreaming and smiling randomly or saying "life's amazing". How could I be unhappy when I have everything I ever wished for? I just hope everyone reaches this point. All they gotta do is find what they love and lead their life around that, be it a job, a hobby, some beautiful people or anything else. When you're doing what you love you inevitably attract happy memories and happy people around you because... you are Happy! 

   So, dear diary, more exciting things ahead! I'm the luckiest and the happiest girl alive!

(Still) In love with life,

D.

Sunshine, rainbows and butterflies

Dear diary,

   We're surrounded by negativity every day. Me, more than others. And I feel the need to actively push it away and surround myself with positivity instead. So that's why I love a good sunny day, a rainbow after a summery storm or a colorful place when I see it. I breathe art, I live through it and it's the most important thing that keeps me going. So no, dear teacher from Psychology University, I believe you're not right in saying weather doesn't influence us and that it's all in our head and our own interpretation. I am very much influenced by it and a ray of sunshine after a whole cloudy day can make my day, a colorful notebook or that perfect green dress that I saw behind a window do change my day in so many ways I can't even tell you. I don't know how it happens, but I just know it does. How else would you explain color therapy or music therapy working with the same effects as your cognitive therapy on patients all over the world? 

   So, dear diary, I want to choose what I believe in and I wanna have MY OWN religion. I do appreciate people's opinions and some of them are applicable but I will go on as a dreamer and a beautiful artist who loves her own little bubble and who is thrilled every time she sees other artists like her out there. I'm not alone and I feel so good to know there are others like me in the midst of all these realistic people who know what I should do to be happy. Nope, they don't. They know what would make THEM happy, but we're so different so why not accept our differences and celebrate them supporting each other every time we're happy about something? :) In the end, feeling understood and valued is what we all need to be really happy.

Feeling wise,

D.

Spring lessons

Dear diary,

  Life goes on. Always. No matter what happens deep inside every one of us. Nature follows its course and spring is in full bloom. I love that about life. That it can find the power to always go on even in the strangest situations. Life prevails. And it keeps teaching us lessons every day. And today our lesson is that 

... we gotta move on, 

... try to take the best of everything that happens to us,

... be ready to rearrange plans if needed, 

... take wise decisions

... and regret nothing. 

... be in full bloom, just like the trees outside, 

... be feminine, colorful and joyful.

   The first true days of spring have brought a never ending smile on my face. I'm finally dressing light, wearing new flowery clothes, smelling of watermelon, eating strawberries and spreading love all around. I'm experiencing a whole new side of life, I'm doing things I've always longed to do, I'm happy and I know it. Life's good.

Breathing spring,

D.

Rebirth

Dear diary,

   The past two weeks have been crazy but I enjoyed it all even if I had to work day in and day out evaluating kids for school. In the middle of all that, March surprised me with its wonders and its soft touch, its mild rays of sun, its snowdrops, tulips, hyacinths and all those colors I've missed so much during wintertime. 

   I realized life's a kaleidoscope. When we're little we only see the first image and then, as we grow up, we keep turning it and turning it until we see other shades of it every year that passes by. It's interesting to see how even if the months are still 12 and the events are the same every year, their meaning changes every step of the way.

   Things have dramatically changed around me but for the first time in my life I embrace change with a smile on my face knowing that everything happens for a reason and being open to all opportunities that come around. I won't be able to work at the same kindergarten next year, but I accepted the fact that the universe wants me somewhere else, that I have other kids to help, other stories to write, other hugs to give away. 

   Spring is the time of rebirth, isn't it? I'm being born again. I have been bent and broken, but I'm sure, into a better shape:) And I'm happy with my transformation. I live the life I chose, I do what I love and I'm surrounded by good vibes and beautiful experiences. So, take me by the hand, spring! Let's explore the world together!

   

Always a spring lover,   

D.

Welcome to the new age

Dear diary,

   2013 was a great year for me. I went places, I met dear people, I had all sorts of first experiences that made me feel so good:) I learned things about myself. Things that hurt me at first but then prepared me for the future. I began to bloom and get ready to spread my wings and fly. 

   Now it's already 2014 and I'm thinking that while being a teenager I believed in the "New year, new person" thing. I thought you could just change your whole being if you wanted to. Then I grew up and I hated that statement. Now I don't hate it anymore. I just know that changing your whole personality is not an option, but changing your attitude is. 

   So this year I will make a change that will bring a whole new perspective in my life. That thing I was looking to since forever but for some reasons I was afraid to accept and show it. It doesn't mean I'll be releasing my demons, it just means I won't be afraid to be who I really am. With ups and downs, light and darkness, every time true to myself. 

   I don't know about others, but I always tried to be the best person in the world and I often failed. And then guess what happened. I felt guilty. And responsible. Well this year, I'm done with being extra cautious. This year I'm learning from my past mistakes but I'm also thinking about me instead of putting the others first every single time. I'm going to buy what I feel like buying, spend time how I feel like and do whatever feels right. Out with the guilt, in with the inner peace. 

  

"Everything is right as long as it makes you happy and you're not hurting the others." 

   I feel it already. The new age, the new attitude, the awesome adventures waiting to be lived with full intensity:) Can't wait!

Forever young,

D.

Advent in progress

   Dear diary,

   I know I didn't write to you when I was supposed to, but these past days I got caught in something so beautiful, amazing and creative it got all my attention. I didn't do anything else but plan and organize the Advent Calendars for 7 of my closest friends:) I can't wait to get to work! 

   The thing is that this is the first year I'm doing this. Funny how every year I stumbled upon it and I never understood its purpose but I never thought about looking it up. I guess we keep learning all our life. The beautiful thing is that it came in the right moment. You know I already started looking for Christmas decorations but that's just for me. This thingie... this is about paying the Christmas spirit forward. And making people happy. And inspiring them. I can't tell you how happy this idea made me feel when I finally understood what it meant and how enthusiastic I am now while planning it. Like I told my mom the other day, it makes me feel like competing in a terrific crafting contest:D 

   Actually I want to tell you something. I feel the need to be thankful today. First, I'm thankful for those people who planned a vacation in the middle of the semester cos this way I get to have 2 free days (Thank God!) Then I'm really thankful for the people who invented the Advent Calendar. I know it comes from Germany. God bless Germans! Third, I want to thank the awesome people who posted online so many free Advent templates that we can print, craft and decorate. Yesterday I behaved exactly like a kid on Christmas morning. I was soooo happy to discover so many beautiful ideas that I can put into practice for my friends:) I... just.. LOVE it! I love the idea of an Advent Calendar which helps you get into the Christmas spirit with those little things that can change your whole day:) ... or even your whole month:) 

   Dear diary, I donno about other people, but even though I don't particularly love winter, Christmas is DEFINITELY my time of the year and not those 3 days in particular but the whole month and a half that precedes it:) This Christmas fever makes me forget about anything that might worry me. And the Advent calendar is the best way of making Christmas gifts. Because this way, instead of getting something big that you might not like all that much, you get little pieces of a terrific Christmas to be:)

   I don't think there are enough words in the English vocabulary to describe how I feel right now. It's that feeling when you find exactly what you were looking for. The thing that completely describes you. Do you know what I mean?:) You do, don't you?

Until next time,

Advent(ian) love,

D.

Day 365. The big day

   Today's the last day of my daily journey through my first year of adulthood, the year I started working. 

   It was a project I dived into because I wanted to fight the laziness that comes to us artists from time to time. A project to encourage me to take photos and write in spite of having little free time. It wasn't easy. I had to come up with new photos and new posts every day. Some days I had no idea what to write about because nothing special happened to me then but I still had to do my homework so I had to look deep down and find a piece of mind hidden on a forgotten shelf. Yes, a couple of days I thought about postponing or canceling the project but each time my inner voice told me I have to finish what I started. And here I am now.

   This experiment made me look at my life through a magnifying glass and find emotions and thoughts I didn't pay attention to all the time. 

   These past 365 days I had the chance to analyse myself, my reactions and my choices, my worries and my moments of happiness. It was a bildungsroman I got the chance to read while writing it.

   And like any other bildungsroman, I started with 0 work experience, a lot of theoretical information that I wasn't going to use in the kindergarten, questions, doubts and anxieties. 

I felt my hands were tied and my expectations were too high. I was down...

But I knew I loved kids more than anything.

Because when kids smile and they tell you they love you, it's all you need to move on.

I found little things that made my days beautiful and that made my inner photographer really proud.

I always did what I love. I cooked and I baked.

I read a lot. For me and for the exam I had to take this summer. There were books and movies I'll always remember. 

And a lot of movie like moments. 

I spent a lot of time in the middle of the nature. I saw sunrises, sunsets, gloomy clouds, rain and snow.

Autumn, winter, spring and summer. 

I celebrated Christmas, New Year's Eve and Easter. I finally had the Christmas tree of my dreams.

I gave and received gifts.

I spent precious time with my friends, family and my beloved boyfriend.

 I received an amazing birthday cake from my best friend, I went to my first color fight and I had my first textbook sleepover.

I made new friends. Dogs, cats and people who helped me rediscover my childhood and my adolescence. 

My feet went to a lot of places.

I was sick, sad and worried. I questioned life and existence. I complained.

But each time I fell down, I stood up and moved on stronger.

I learned I still need to work on being patient.

And accepting change.

I learned that I have to fight for what I believe in.

And always find a reason to smile.

That it's good to keep your spirit young especially if you're living an adult life.

Shoot for the stars,

And be creative. 

Love unconditionally,

Be yourself even if the world expects to see something different.

And keep close to whatever makes you happy:)

 It's been a wonderful journey. One that I'm planning to continue. Not daily but still, twice a week. On Tuesdays and Saturdays. 

Thanx for sticking around and reading my posts, supporting me and putting me on the right direction. It was all very helpful:) See you next Tuesday!:)