365 days project 2: Day 23. Monkey see monkey do

   In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.”

“Test of Three?”

“That’s correct,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man replied, “actually I just heard about it.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued, “You may still pass though because there is a third test – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really…”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more…

   I remembered this little story today after having gone through a similar experience and I started thinking about how easy it is for us, people, to copy other people's behavior just because we see it all around. And by this I mean talking about others, commenting on what they say or do, gossiping just because we can. 

   Instead of planting seeds of war, we could all be planting seeds of love. It all depends on what we say. Is it true? Good? Useful? 

Welcome to the new age

Dear diary,

   2013 was a great year for me. I went places, I met dear people, I had all sorts of first experiences that made me feel so good:) I learned things about myself. Things that hurt me at first but then prepared me for the future. I began to bloom and get ready to spread my wings and fly. 

   Now it's already 2014 and I'm thinking that while being a teenager I believed in the "New year, new person" thing. I thought you could just change your whole being if you wanted to. Then I grew up and I hated that statement. Now I don't hate it anymore. I just know that changing your whole personality is not an option, but changing your attitude is. 

   So this year I will make a change that will bring a whole new perspective in my life. That thing I was looking to since forever but for some reasons I was afraid to accept and show it. It doesn't mean I'll be releasing my demons, it just means I won't be afraid to be who I really am. With ups and downs, light and darkness, every time true to myself. 

   I don't know about others, but I always tried to be the best person in the world and I often failed. And then guess what happened. I felt guilty. And responsible. Well this year, I'm done with being extra cautious. This year I'm learning from my past mistakes but I'm also thinking about me instead of putting the others first every single time. I'm going to buy what I feel like buying, spend time how I feel like and do whatever feels right. Out with the guilt, in with the inner peace. 

  

"Everything is right as long as it makes you happy and you're not hurting the others." 

   I feel it already. The new age, the new attitude, the awesome adventures waiting to be lived with full intensity:) Can't wait!

Forever young,

D.

Day 334. The odd one out

  We all want to fit in, be accepted and appreciated by the people we like or admire. Some will just be themselves and hope that will work out fine while others will feel like they have to change some tiny parts of them to make sure they do fit in. If they get to do that, at some point when they look in the mirror they will be facing a stranger, a person way too different than they are. It sounds cliché, but it happens every day. Mostly, to people who have self esteem issues. 

   It's hard to stay true to yourself and know that you might not fit in a group you like. Being social "animals", we want to be surrounded by people and not just any kind, but awesome ones. The kind of people who make us feel awesome as well. And there's where our mistake is. We try to be awesome with the wrong group. Why wrong? Because we have to try to make ourselves liked. 

   So my lesson for today is: first love yourself and the right people will love you too. Don't push it and don't try to be somebody you're not only to please others around you. Stay true to yourself and learn how to assertively tell the others that you're different. I know, common interests connect people, but just because you don't like the exact same music as somebody else, doesn't mean you can't still have common interests:) Be you and never be ashamed to stand for yourself: "No, dude, I don't drink vodka or tequila. I don't listen to death metal and I don't smoke. But I did love that psychological movie you were talking about and I drink beer. How about that?" 

Day 292. The hunch

   There are those times when you have a hunch about something. And then there are two possibilities: you either follow it and everything's ok or you ignore it and later on realize it was true. Today I decided not to follow my instinct. And of course I was wrong:) 

   The worst case is when these kinda hunches are life saving and we still decide they might not be true. It's funny how we can't trust the inexplicable, that inner voice that tells us what's going to happen. In the end, we all know the best thing to do is listen to it because it might be one of those rear times when we're wise without knowing:) 

   So, lesson learnt!:) Next time, I'm following my hunch no matter what!