The lessons of a 29 year old

   Happy birthday to meeee!:D Another year has passed and I want to continue the habit I've developed 2 years ago on my birthday: writing new lessons that I learned during the last year or old ones that I have to keep working on :) So here it goes:

1. Being married is so awesome! Actually it's just as awesome as before but "forever" sounds amazing! :)

2. You don't feel old when you're 29. Not at all. When I was a teen I used to think a 29 year old is... well... kind of midlife old. Naaah, we're just getting started! So many plans and awesome stuff to happen from now on! 

3. Not even 5 years of experience of work in the same place won't make you an expert. You have something new to learn every day and you realize you're still at the beginning. A teacher once told us in university that only after 10 years of work in the field you can be considered an expert. And not even then I'd say. 

4. Not everybody will like you no matter how much you try to make them like you. Just accept it and move on. I'm still struggling with accepting it.

5. Life is so much better now than... hmm... 5 years ago, for example. You're married, you have the money to travel and no kid obligations yet. Peak of the existence right there. 

6. Even though you want to be wiser every day, your personality and your reactions might be in the way of that. So you have to try to actively control your emotions and your reactions.

7. Have kids when you are ready not when society tells you to. I'm seriously starting to think about children and I'm preparing for them (bought awesome books, a photo album and some decorations) and it's awesome that i can prepare at my own pace without taking in the pressure of society. And that I have a husband who fully supports me.

8. You find a new hobby every year. It's never too late to start something new. I started gardening after coming home from the honeymoon. Never in a million years did I think that I will ever garden. So you can still surprise yourself even when you think you know yourself well.

9. You can still be a unicorn if you want to! No age is too old for being who you want to be and beaming with happiness :)

365 days project 2. Day 84. Milestones

   Today I woke up and the first thing I read on my phone was the news about the latest terrorist attack in Nice. 85+ innocent dead people who were attending a beautiful parade and were enjoying their national day... people who woke up that morning with a smile on their face at the thought of celebrating such a special day and who went to sleep on a street just because someone decided their fate instead. This is one of those things that reminds you how unfair life is sometimes, one of those events that gives you an unwanted shot of utter sadness, anger and fear. I guess that's the purpose, isn't it?

   But if we linger too much in these thoughts then terrorists win. So instead let's think about good things that change your life like meeting the person who makes you grow, gives you wings to fly and loves you unconditionally, then moving in with this person, marrying them and starting a family together. 

   Traveling. It changes you forever. It makes you hunger for more: seeing more, meeting more people, staring in awe at cityscapes and landscapes you only saw in pictures on Google. It's absolutely fascinating how just visiting different cities can bring so much light in your life.

   Your first job. Or being accepted for your dream job. It changes you from a dreamy teenager to a young adult who's starting to figure our what he wants and who understands that the world is his oyster.

   Random people at the perfect time and perfect place. Those people who share their wisdom with you and make you a little bit wiser even if you will never see them again... especially because you'll never see them again.

   Milestones. Things that change you bit by bit either by helping you reach intense happiness or by bringing you down so that you learn how to stand up again. Either way, you need them. So be aware of them and learn from them. We're all here to learn a lesson. Make sure you learn yours.

365 days project 2. Day 40. Lessons of a kid

   On Children's Day I'd like to share some of the lessons I learnt from my kids at work in all these 4 years of meeting them daily:

1. Play. Every day. As much as you can. Any way you can. Be creative and let your imagination fly! It will save you from being bored or stressed.

2. Care about yourself first. Don't take life too seriously. Nobody cares how you dressed today. They won't remember you wore the same shirt 4 days ago.

3. Love innocently. Say "I love you" every time someone dear makes you feel special. Let them know how you feel. There's never "too much" when it comes to sharing love.

4. Ask for what you want until you get it. Use all your methods. Life will have to give it to you in the end.

5. Be a fine observer and enhance your convincing skills. Be bold and fearless. We all want to be like that, but society shuts us down somehow.

6. Always say the truth. Sometimes you have to be careful how you phrase it, but don't lie. People will eventually find out.

7. Get happiness from the smallest things. Life is full of those. We just have to allow ourselves to enjoy them.

8. Share your joy with your friends. Get together more often. Tell them what happens in your life instead of letting them find out over Facebook.

9. Ask when you don't know something. Don't assume people will think you're stupid. Asking is always better than guessing.

10. Tell people how you feel. Don't keep it inside. Tell them when you are sad and ask for help when you don't know how to surpass a situation.

11. Be full of energy. Jump, dance, sing, don't just sit down in front of the computer all day!

12. Ask for forgiveness. And mean it.

The lessons of a 27 year old

Dear diary,

   Today I turn 27. This is for sure an age I never thought about when I was a child and thought of "when I grow up". It was all vague in my mind but I somehow always saw myself as being 20. Today, however, I keep blooming.

   It's funny how ages and their meaning changed over the past decade. Today, being 27 IS like being 20. Just finished master degree and started working 3 years ago, compared to our parents who would have been married with kids by this age. Either way, I enjoy it so much more consciously now. 

   Every birthday brings a slight change, but this one, I believe, brought the most of them :) Since last year, I moved in with my fiancé! It sounds small, but it's really big actually. This time last year I was involved in a beautiful new relationship, but I surely didn't have a fiancé and I was still living with my parents! So talk about a change, eh? (By the way, dear diary, I say "Eh" a lot now, VERY Canadian of me! Today I'm finally applying for my first tourist visa for Canada, so I say I'm pretty ready to go :D)

   The reason why I actually wanted to write to you and mark this milestone is because I want to remember what I learned until now, in all these years. Maybe it will help me later on :)

   I learned that...

   You need amazing parents in order to become an amazing person and even the most amazing parents can sometimes make parenting mistakes. At the end of the day, they all somehow instill in us their fears as we will instill our fears in our kids. It's inevitable, but still something we can control if we aknowledge it. But what we need most as kids is LOVE, ATTENTION and APPRECIATION. If we believe we are valuable to our parents and they are willing to share their TIME with us, playing, talking about life and learning together, if they show INTEREST, then our childhood is going to be the BEST. With or without a lot of money, toys and whatnot. At the end of the day, Love conquers all. 

   I learned that life brings you friends that come and go and that's okay. But the most important are the ones who stay because they want to and the ones who stay because YOU pick them. Always choose the ones who make you happy and who teach you lessons: lessons of trust, neverending love, forgiveness and honesty. You won't always love your friends to the bits. Sometimes, you won't agree with something they do or say. But still love them, because they need that. And that's what you'll get in return. Because what goes around comes around.

   I learned that if you're giving, you shall receive. The same amount of love, and care, and appreciation. And sometimes it can be overwhelming and you'll wonder if you deserve it, but believe me, YOU DO, because if you were a giver you will also be a receiver :)

   I learned that teenage period is full of unanswered questions and crushes and worry about school and the future, but if you have a supportive family and the right friends around you, everything is going to be OKAY. Yes, you shall cry and miss those unrequited love stories or boyfriends who broke up with you without understanding why. It will stay with you your whole life, but you shouldn't let it get the better of you. Life moves on and you will move on with it.

   I learned that life is not as short as I expected. During my childhood and teenage period I heard about a lot of young people dying. It doesn't mean that's it's SO often that it will happen to You or your loved ones. And even if it does, at some point, be careful that you live fully until then so that when it does happen to you, you can have that "I lived it all, thank you, life" feeling :)

   I learned that life is not always fair. Many times you won't understand things that happen to you, but you somehow need to find the resilience to explain to yourself in your own way what happened and find the strength to go on. And then, in those moments, KNOW that it could ALWAYS be worse and you have dear ones around you to help you move on.

   I learned that we all have beautiful gifts inside us. Our talents. And we should exploit them when the time is right without caring what the others say. If you feel you want to do it, then do it! Show the world what you're good at and try to always improve!

   I learned that people will judge now and then and you won't be liked by everybody and that's okay. As long as you love yourself, everything is going to be okay because THIS is the secret of moving on. You need to find the power to love yourself with all the faults you have. I know you live with yourself 24/7, but try. And always thank for the compliments you receive. Don't turn them around. Believe. In. Yourself!

   I learned that love comes when you least expect. And that you don't have just ONE soulmate on this planet. There are people who match you more or less, but who still have common things with you. They will make you happy, very happy but some shorter periods than others. And the one who matches you the best will make you happy forever and ever :) You will KNOW when you find him so you don't have to stress about not knowing. I believe there's a biological button somewhere in there that tells you the time is right. And you will feel that you were meant to be together.

   I learned that most (if not all) of those cheesy motivational quotes are TRUE and that life is so much more surprising than the movies. 

   I learned that you will want to look back to your life and it's wonderful to have a blog or diaries to read when you do that. So keep writing, keep documenting, keep sharing. Because some things you write can help others and when you hear that you will be the happiest.

   I learned that flowers and kids can lift your spirit on a bad day and that very good food will always inspire you to cook more. 

   I learned that ALL DREAMS come true if you strongly believe in them and if you keep thinking about them. 

   I learned that no matter his shape, there IS a God out there and someone up there ALWAYS loves you. 

   I could write a book, dear diary, and maybe someday I will :) But today I'll stop here and I'll go enjoy my birthday :)

With love and excitement,

D.

  

Lessons from a flower

Dear diary,

   A new school year began yesterday and on this very first day all teachers receive flowers. I received some too and they made me feel appreciated. But what I loved the most was that my daily quote matched the occasion: "A flower in front of me, I want to hear what it says". So I started thinking: what do flowers teach us? Hmmm...

1. Be delicate: don't be afraid to be gentle and graceful, it's actually beautiful in a woman.

2. Be feminine: wear dresses: pretty, light and airy fabrics that enhance your femininity, stop wearing those jeans Every.Single.Day. There are so many ways to wear a dress, look up inspirations!

3. Be elegant: This goes hand in hand with the other two ones, but it's also about the attitude. A rose is elegant on its own, it doesn't necessarily need to be put around other flowers to be elegant. Make your attitude stand out for you. In a good way.

4. Wear perfume: Sooo important! If there are flowers like lilies or freesias that I would keep smelling, there are also perfumes that are just as yummy and wearing them makes such a difference. I remember scents in the bus, on the street, scents that stayed with me. Perfumes help you be remembered.

5. Be confident and just bloom without comparing yourself to others. There are so many beautiful flowers out there, but they never feel weird about not being beautiful enough. Diversity is good, love yourself just the way you are, with your flaws and your imperfections. You're human, nobody's perfect.

6. Be joyful: Find a reason to be happy every day. There are many small blessings around you that could just make your day if you are willing. I love the warm sun in the morning or an addictive song recommended when I least expect.

7. Wear happy colors: Less blacks, greys and browns, more viridian, turquoise, aubergine, burgundy, salmon, peach, pink blush! So many color combinations, just look around you on the street and be inspired! 

8. Bring happiness to people around you: Remember how happy you are when you receive flowers, make people just as happy and then you can say it was a day worth living! Many times just sending a random hug message, checking up on a friend or listening and showing compassion helps so much!

9. Never let go, find resources to go on, bloom every year no matter what! Even if there are days when you wished you stayed in bed, even if the dark autumn days are approaching, find a purpose (going somewhere in vacation, Christmas decorations, etc) and stick to it, it will make you happy when the skies are grey.

10. Know what you want and what you need: If you need love, health, peace of mind or happiness, ask for it and the Universe will give it to you. Just don't forget to be Specific and also remember the famous saying: "Be careful what you wish for, because it might come true". So think hard before you ask. 

   I want to remember these small lessons, especially when I feel sad or worried. Flowers don't worry, they just bloom :)


P.S. Happy colors and polka dots make me sooo happy:

Happy happy, joy joy,

D.

  

The Game

Dear present self,

We’re all born in the middle of a Game. The difficulty level is chosen beforehand but it doesn’t even matter because we all play the same levels.

Whenever you think you’re strong, the Game proves you just how weak you can be. And then you have to play those levels over and over again until you learn the right lessons and you become strong again. But strength doesn’t come alone. You need to keep those lessons tight because you’ll need them again in the next levels.

Some levels are a piece of cake. They seem too easy to be real, and yet they’re awesome. In the end you learn to enjoy them but after a while you get bored and you wonder where the dragon is hiding. You miss fighting the dragon but then, when you actually meet him two stages later you freak out and fail.

Failure is natural. It’s a game after all. The important thing is to learn those lessons and move on wiser, be always prepared for the unexpected and embrace whatever comes with peace. You can go to the next level more easily if you try to solve the previous with a cold mind: “What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? How can you solve it?”

And then, when you least expect, the Game sends you a little clue. Take that clue and use it wisely to pass to the next level. Never give up until you finish the Game. Stay strong and keep playing!

With love,

Yourself

Day 257. Follow your heart but...

   ... take your brain with you!

   Sometimes following our heart involves a lot of risk taking and even bad decisions. But you can't convince the heart otherwise. 

   So, since you already decided, take the road and follow it closely. It might make you suffer, but at least you'll learn some valuable lessons. And next time you'll take the brain with you. Because, as much as you don't want to, it will always give you the heads up and prevent some major breakdowns. Or at least it will make you be aware of them. And yes, it'll be the one saying "I told you so". Still, you need it to get out of those breakdowns. And move on in one piece. Or two. 

Day 7. At peace

Have you ever felt that you had everything you wanted and you could die in that very moment and be at peace with yourself without feeling the fear that usually comes with death? I was at peace with myself today. I cried of happiness and that doesn't happen often. I realized I understand life differently and that I'm still a child... one that's eager to learn new lessons and help new people:) I love my job!:)