Day 365. The big day

   Today's the last day of my daily journey through my first year of adulthood, the year I started working. 

   It was a project I dived into because I wanted to fight the laziness that comes to us artists from time to time. A project to encourage me to take photos and write in spite of having little free time. It wasn't easy. I had to come up with new photos and new posts every day. Some days I had no idea what to write about because nothing special happened to me then but I still had to do my homework so I had to look deep down and find a piece of mind hidden on a forgotten shelf. Yes, a couple of days I thought about postponing or canceling the project but each time my inner voice told me I have to finish what I started. And here I am now.

   This experiment made me look at my life through a magnifying glass and find emotions and thoughts I didn't pay attention to all the time. 

   These past 365 days I had the chance to analyse myself, my reactions and my choices, my worries and my moments of happiness. It was a bildungsroman I got the chance to read while writing it.

   And like any other bildungsroman, I started with 0 work experience, a lot of theoretical information that I wasn't going to use in the kindergarten, questions, doubts and anxieties. 

I felt my hands were tied and my expectations were too high. I was down...

But I knew I loved kids more than anything.

Because when kids smile and they tell you they love you, it's all you need to move on.

I found little things that made my days beautiful and that made my inner photographer really proud.

I always did what I love. I cooked and I baked.

I read a lot. For me and for the exam I had to take this summer. There were books and movies I'll always remember. 

And a lot of movie like moments. 

I spent a lot of time in the middle of the nature. I saw sunrises, sunsets, gloomy clouds, rain and snow.

Autumn, winter, spring and summer. 

I celebrated Christmas, New Year's Eve and Easter. I finally had the Christmas tree of my dreams.

I gave and received gifts.

I spent precious time with my friends, family and my beloved boyfriend.

 I received an amazing birthday cake from my best friend, I went to my first color fight and I had my first textbook sleepover.

I made new friends. Dogs, cats and people who helped me rediscover my childhood and my adolescence. 

My feet went to a lot of places.

I was sick, sad and worried. I questioned life and existence. I complained.

But each time I fell down, I stood up and moved on stronger.

I learned I still need to work on being patient.

And accepting change.

I learned that I have to fight for what I believe in.

And always find a reason to smile.

That it's good to keep your spirit young especially if you're living an adult life.

Shoot for the stars,

And be creative. 

Love unconditionally,

Be yourself even if the world expects to see something different.

And keep close to whatever makes you happy:)

 It's been a wonderful journey. One that I'm planning to continue. Not daily but still, twice a week. On Tuesdays and Saturdays. 

Thanx for sticking around and reading my posts, supporting me and putting me on the right direction. It was all very helpful:) See you next Tuesday!:)

Day 355. Forever ago

   Today I accidentally plunged in my past and I noticed it didn't hurt so I decided to swim deeper and deeper. It made me realize how much I miss a dear friend I lost contact with, how much things have changed around during the past 5 years and I ended up asking myself if I had changed as well. 

   So I called my best friend over to take a look at our life then (during high school teenage years when we were desk mates) and now (when we're already employed emerging adults). It was kinda difficult for me to remember past experiences so way back because once I closed that book and forgot it on a shelf in the attic I only remembered closer experiences from university. So I had to go back to the attic and dig for the lost book. Then I started comparing. Then and Now. Now and Then. 

   You'd say the result is expected. Kinda like textbook development. I still like the same general things, just that now I know exactly which ones and how I like them to be. Take psychology for example. Back in high school I started being interested in the field and I knew I wanted to become a psychologist because I loved listening to people. Now I am practicing it but I'm a school psychologist not a clinical therapist because I realized I love kids more than anything and that therapy is way more complicated than it seemed back then:) 

   You could say my search has been refined and now not only than I know exactly who I am and what I'm looking for, but I'm also in a stable relationship for 4 years. So THEN was all about exploring options and NOW is all about a single road I chose to follow. I love photography, writing, English and people. That's who I am and that's who I'm always gonna be:) I didn't change, I just evolved. I got out of my cocoon and now I'm flying around as a beautiful butterfly:) 

Day 351. Bonnie and Clyde

   Today was one of those days when you realize how awesome it is to have your best friend as your boyfriend. Because not only that you love him and wanna kiss him and cuddle with him all day, but you're also terrific partners "in crime". We're both so excited about a project we're gonna develop together soon. Very soon. 

   In two weeks time "My photo diary" will have gathered 365 days of euphoric, wonderful, interesting, boring, sad and angry experiences. A whole year of ups and downs, discoveries and awesome movie moments I lived during the first year of my working experience (yeah, first step into adulthood). 

   I will continue to write in My Photo Diary even after the year ends, but it will only be twice a week because I want to make sure I share my most powerful experiences. Until then, let the daily emotional roller coaster move on:)

Day 333. Believe

   Today was one of those really happy days for me:) Because I got the exam result and it was astronomical. Wow! I knew the music teacher (our exam supervisor) did an awesome job psychologically preparing us for the exam, that I loved the subjects (they were exactly what I wished for) and that I had an interesting idea for one of the subjects and all that made me very proud and confident while writing the exam, but giving the last year's experience when I thought I did good and seemingly I didn't, I didn't know what to expect this year. So in the end, looks like I overestimated the difficulty of the exam and I was wrong to stop believing in myself when I got the last year's result. 

   So what I learned today is that whenever you want to do something and you want it bad, believe in yourself. Believe you can and stretch all your resources to get where you want and remember that no matter how difficult the target might look like, it's always achievable if you believe in yourself. Trust that you can reach all your goals no matter how utopian they might look like. Know that the feeling of confidence will boost everything else in the right direction. Sure, there's competition and the resources might be scarce but know that you can. You can achieve anything you set for yourself, be it an awesome job, an amazing boyfriend, vacation destinations or anything else:) 

   Also, what I learned is that whenever you are confident you can move the mountains and nobody can take that feeling from you:) So hold on tight to it! You Will move the mountains if you believe!:)

Day 308. Priceless

   You know what they say: you can buy a lot of things but there are some that money just can't buy. You will never be able to buy happiness, love, peace, class, lost time and so on. Yeah, you can buy things to get you there for a second, a minute, a day or maybe a week, but when you wake up the next day, will you still be happy? Think again:)  

   Today my boyfriend and I celebrated his birthday. Happy, happy, joy, joy:) Of course, he received a nice gift, something he loved and needed, but at the end of the day he told me: "you know, the fact that you love me and you're here with me is the best gift there is":) So, can you buy that? Real, everlasting happiness?:) I'm really proud of him and of the special thing we share. Anything I could buy wouldn't make me happier:) This is priceless:)

P.S. Happy birthdaaaay, honey<3 Love you lots!

  

Day 255. The light at the end of the tunnel

   Today I learned that no matter how difficult the beginnings might be, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel which motivates you to go on. I've learned that it's hard to get yourself going, but once you've started, it won't feel as unpleasant as it did in the beginning. The important thing is to stop procrastinating and get yourself in the "working mood". 

   This morning I started studying for my summer exam. It was hard to get back in the "student mood" but once I got to it, it was actually pleasant:) 

   Also today was day 1 of a personal project my boyfriend and I started to get fit. We decided to jog every evening around a beautiful lake where people like us go. Seeing we're not alone strengthened our motivation to seriously involve in the project. I'm really excited about the outcome!:) 

   The light at the end of my tunnel is shining bright. I can't wait to touch it!:)

Day 241. The sequel

   When you like something a lot, you want to share it with others so that they would enjoy it as much as you did, right?

   Since we had so much free time in this mini Easter holiday, today we went back to heaven. And this time we took my boyfriend and some family friends with us. 

   It was the first night slept in a tent this year and the first night warming around the fire while gazing at the shining stars. 

   Just like yesterday, the time passed like a blink of an eye and it was even more beautiful since I got the chance to share the moments with my loved one. 

   So now we're looking forward to take our deviant friends there next time:)

Day 224. Before and after

   I've never been on Cluj Arena stadium before today. I've seen it in photos, but never really went to see it up close since I'm not really a football fan. 

   It all started with an odd invitation to a surprise presentation near the stadium. I accepted by courtesy but it would have been a better idea to follow my guts and just say "no" because it was about something they called THE business: selling products, having partners and earning "a lot of money". I felt like a stranger in the middle of a cult. Oh well.

   After the awkward presentation my boyfriend and I sneaked to the stadium. As we were approaching I was hit by a "movie moment" feeling:) Remember those romantic comedies in which the main characters go to an empty stadium and everything gets very romantic and cute? I had that today:) So in in the end maybe it was worth it.

   I guess sometimes we have to go through hell to get to heaven and I'm willing to do that if heaven will always taste so sweet:) 

Day 212. Cut from the same cloth

   We all have a buddy we share everything with, someone who helps us solve problems, plan birthdays, write the dissertation paper, someone who seems to be cut from the same cloth as we are. 

   At some point he/she makes us realize that 2 is always better than 1 and that no matter how tough life might be, that person will always be by our side and understand what we're we're going through because we're the same. He/she will always answer the phone even though we already called 10 times that day. He/she will try and succeed to calm us down and lift us up when we fall. And at some point it will be our turn to do all these and we will do them gladly. 

   When that someone is your boyfriend you know you've found the right partner to play the game of life. Different settings every time, but nevertheless, a game:)

Day 161. Down memory lane

   Here we are, the controversial V Day is here. Half love it, half hate it. I personally don't need a special day to reassure my loved one of my feelings. We're not cliche. We're celebrating 3 years and a half instead and that's something. Way better than exchanging plushies and heart shaped candy. Even though, I admit that the idea of this special day is very cute since it's called after Valentino, a priest of Rome who was marrying couples even if he wasn't allowed to do it. So he was indeed the messenger of love and this day should remind us of true love, young love, that kind of love that lasts forever. Unfortunately, the society we live in commercialized it and it's now all about gifts, hotel rooms and red underwear. That's why I decided not to celebrate it. 

   I couldn't help going down memory lane though. Today I opened my chest of treasures. I found old letters and memories that reminded of who I was years ago, my hopes, dreams and love stories back then. I realized that my past prepared me for meeting my true love. Before him my life was a continuous roller coaster of falling in love and breaking up, but every past boyfriend wrote some lines in my book that helped me understand who I am and what I'm looking for. I realized that you can have beauty, but not wisdom. You can receive "I love you"s but not feel them back, you can have protection, but not a best friend to share everything with. So this is how I know I found the one. My best friend, my lover, the one that makes me feel complete. 

              

                     I love you, baby!:) 

Day 52. PMSing autumn

   Gloomy day today. The worst part is that Autumn is moody. She can't make up her mind if she feels like shedding tears or just PMS about whatever is troubling her. Oh well, I guess she's just a regular girl like all of us. 

   I wonder if there are guys who are "PMSing" too. Hmmm... That would make the world an unbearable place. Let's hope just half of the population goes through this weird period when they are annoyed about everything and they annoy everyone with their mood. 

   I can't help wondering: Are there girls out there who are calm and zen in their PMSing period? I know I'm nothing like that and I'm ashamed to admit it:) Poor boyfriend of mine. This is one of the situations that make me appreciate him more and more each time:)

Girls, be grateful to your boyfriend for his abilities to bear with you in that gloomy time of the month:)

Later edit: there ARE guys who are "PMSing" (Look for "Irritable male syndrome") Interesting stuff:P