365 days project 2. Day 85. Family

   You can't choose your family. That's what they say. You come to this world belonging to a group of people who will always be around you no matter what you do. You'll see them at birthdays, weddings and funerals and sometimes you'll spend holidays with them. 

   When you're a child, all you know is your family. You love them all to bits and you look up to them. You want to be like them when you grow up and you love that they know so many things you can learn from them. Then comes adolescence when you basically hate everyone. Your friends become your family and you spend most of your time with them. Your parents are your enemies and you feel they never understand you. When that period passes you become an adult. And when you're an adult you'll be wise enough to understand that even if you didn't want to be born in that family and you have your differences and dramas at times, that group of people will ALWAYS be there for you and you need them just as much as they need you. 

   Family is such a complex word and it includes so many feelings, memories and if you're lucky, that place you'll always call home. 

   We don't choose our family but whoever chooses it for us is surely having fun watching all those interesting stories developing. Hopefully, most of them have a happy ending. 

365 days project 2. Day 44. The guide to playing with a child

   Not everybody meets kids on a daily basis. So not everybody knows how to play with them. But at some point we all meet the little ones. And then some of us freak out and don't know how to react while others seem like they have it in them to just know what to do. 

   I always found it so easy to approach a child and enter his world, play with him, understand him and make myself understood. But not everybody is like this. Some have no idea how to react in order not to harm the child or not to upset the parent. They don't know what is allowed and what isn't. So they seclude themselves in a corner where the child doesn't go and observe him attentively without interacting. And that's alright as long as the observation ends at some point and you let yourself be a child again and play with that child. 

What to do when you know nothing about kids and how to play with them?

1. Ask the parent. No, that doesn't make you look stupid. It means you want to know the child properly. 

2. Observe what the others do and do the same. It's not as difficult as it seems, I promise!

3. Let the child lead and you just follow. Do what the child does. Mirror him and he will be very happy. And when you can't understand what he's saying (and it's not a question) just say "yes, that's right" :) He wants to feel accepted and valued so this way you are doing that for him. Also maybe ask the parent what he said just to make sure you get the right meaning :)

4. Be a child again and do what you used to do when you were little. Kids are still the way they used to be :)

5. Try to guess what he wants and give him options in questions: "Do you want to play with the ball?" "Do you want to play in the sand?" The child will lead you and help you understand what he wants :)

6. It's ok to hug him or kiss him. He's not going to break. A child usually loves affection. But if you want to make sure, observe how he reacts to others being loving with him.

7. Just let go all your fears and enjoy the utter happiness playing with a child brings. It will make you forget about all your problems and help you reconnect with your inner child. It's like therapy :) Child therapy! :)

The lessons of a 27 year old

Dear diary,

   Today I turn 27. This is for sure an age I never thought about when I was a child and thought of "when I grow up". It was all vague in my mind but I somehow always saw myself as being 20. Today, however, I keep blooming.

   It's funny how ages and their meaning changed over the past decade. Today, being 27 IS like being 20. Just finished master degree and started working 3 years ago, compared to our parents who would have been married with kids by this age. Either way, I enjoy it so much more consciously now. 

   Every birthday brings a slight change, but this one, I believe, brought the most of them :) Since last year, I moved in with my fiancé! It sounds small, but it's really big actually. This time last year I was involved in a beautiful new relationship, but I surely didn't have a fiancé and I was still living with my parents! So talk about a change, eh? (By the way, dear diary, I say "Eh" a lot now, VERY Canadian of me! Today I'm finally applying for my first tourist visa for Canada, so I say I'm pretty ready to go :D)

   The reason why I actually wanted to write to you and mark this milestone is because I want to remember what I learned until now, in all these years. Maybe it will help me later on :)

   I learned that...

   You need amazing parents in order to become an amazing person and even the most amazing parents can sometimes make parenting mistakes. At the end of the day, they all somehow instill in us their fears as we will instill our fears in our kids. It's inevitable, but still something we can control if we aknowledge it. But what we need most as kids is LOVE, ATTENTION and APPRECIATION. If we believe we are valuable to our parents and they are willing to share their TIME with us, playing, talking about life and learning together, if they show INTEREST, then our childhood is going to be the BEST. With or without a lot of money, toys and whatnot. At the end of the day, Love conquers all. 

   I learned that life brings you friends that come and go and that's okay. But the most important are the ones who stay because they want to and the ones who stay because YOU pick them. Always choose the ones who make you happy and who teach you lessons: lessons of trust, neverending love, forgiveness and honesty. You won't always love your friends to the bits. Sometimes, you won't agree with something they do or say. But still love them, because they need that. And that's what you'll get in return. Because what goes around comes around.

   I learned that if you're giving, you shall receive. The same amount of love, and care, and appreciation. And sometimes it can be overwhelming and you'll wonder if you deserve it, but believe me, YOU DO, because if you were a giver you will also be a receiver :)

   I learned that teenage period is full of unanswered questions and crushes and worry about school and the future, but if you have a supportive family and the right friends around you, everything is going to be OKAY. Yes, you shall cry and miss those unrequited love stories or boyfriends who broke up with you without understanding why. It will stay with you your whole life, but you shouldn't let it get the better of you. Life moves on and you will move on with it.

   I learned that life is not as short as I expected. During my childhood and teenage period I heard about a lot of young people dying. It doesn't mean that's it's SO often that it will happen to You or your loved ones. And even if it does, at some point, be careful that you live fully until then so that when it does happen to you, you can have that "I lived it all, thank you, life" feeling :)

   I learned that life is not always fair. Many times you won't understand things that happen to you, but you somehow need to find the resilience to explain to yourself in your own way what happened and find the strength to go on. And then, in those moments, KNOW that it could ALWAYS be worse and you have dear ones around you to help you move on.

   I learned that we all have beautiful gifts inside us. Our talents. And we should exploit them when the time is right without caring what the others say. If you feel you want to do it, then do it! Show the world what you're good at and try to always improve!

   I learned that people will judge now and then and you won't be liked by everybody and that's okay. As long as you love yourself, everything is going to be okay because THIS is the secret of moving on. You need to find the power to love yourself with all the faults you have. I know you live with yourself 24/7, but try. And always thank for the compliments you receive. Don't turn them around. Believe. In. Yourself!

   I learned that love comes when you least expect. And that you don't have just ONE soulmate on this planet. There are people who match you more or less, but who still have common things with you. They will make you happy, very happy but some shorter periods than others. And the one who matches you the best will make you happy forever and ever :) You will KNOW when you find him so you don't have to stress about not knowing. I believe there's a biological button somewhere in there that tells you the time is right. And you will feel that you were meant to be together.

   I learned that most (if not all) of those cheesy motivational quotes are TRUE and that life is so much more surprising than the movies. 

   I learned that you will want to look back to your life and it's wonderful to have a blog or diaries to read when you do that. So keep writing, keep documenting, keep sharing. Because some things you write can help others and when you hear that you will be the happiest.

   I learned that flowers and kids can lift your spirit on a bad day and that very good food will always inspire you to cook more. 

   I learned that ALL DREAMS come true if you strongly believe in them and if you keep thinking about them. 

   I learned that no matter his shape, there IS a God out there and someone up there ALWAYS loves you. 

   I could write a book, dear diary, and maybe someday I will :) But today I'll stop here and I'll go enjoy my birthday :)

With love and excitement,

D.

  

Christmas Past, Present and Future

   Dear diary,

   It's Christmas day again. That time of the year when I'm filled with both sadness and joy: sadness cos I can't believe a whole year has passed already and joy because I can witness the most wonderful time of the year again:) The one I was looking forward to since January, the same one that allows me to be a kid no matter the age. 

   This year's been different for me, though. The Advent calendar changed the whole equation and brought more magic in my life. I never thought something so small and humble could do such a difference:) The planning and crafting and then the daily tasks... it definitely put me in the Christmas mood! I used to be sad, bored, or worried. The Advent calendar wiped away all of that and it replaced it with enthusiasm, anticipation and joy. I'm almost on the verge of crying because I realize today's the last day of this special gift called Advent. Such a terrific thing, involving so much dedication, passion and love, more than you thought you had, more than you thought you could give away. The Advent makes you a crafter, a loving, nurturing and thoughtful being. Everybody should experience it: giving and receiving love in the most innocent way possible:)

   The past Christmases have been beautiful, as long as I was a child. Then it all turned into a must and it somehow lost its feeling while growing up. This year I feel mature enough to know how to make the difference and how to keep the spirit alive: it all comes down to letting yourself enjoy the little things. Live Christmas exactly like kids do. And that's what the Advent brought along:) I'm sure the future Christmases will be just as beautiful as this one: with love, peace, joy, family, friends and a lot of creativity (Advent included). Because in the end that's what makes the difference. Letting yourself be a kid no matter the age while celebrating the birth of the most miraculous child on Earth:) 

   I know... it didn't snow this year. But I brought snow inside:) And now, happiness is all around. In my eyes and in the eyes of everyone who gazed at my Christmas tree. What more could I wish for?

Feeling the Christmas magic,

D.

Day 326. Age beautifully

   Today I took the emotional roller coaster through all ages of my life until now. I've been a furious child, an overly emotional teenager and ended up as a confident adult. 

   I realized all ages have their benefits and their disadvantages. When you're a kid you depend on your parents for everything but you have no problems whatsoever and life is just a game. When you're a teen you don't know who you are or what you want, you wanna be cool and you still can't be independent, but you're wilder and more full of life, hopes and dreams than you'll ever be. When you're an adult you start facing different problems. Sometimes small ones, other times life changing ones, but you're finally independent, you know who you are, what you want and you can get it. You might not see life as pink as you once did, but you're surely not as confused and emotional as you used to be in adolescence nor are you as intolerant to frustration as you were as a child. You've already been through enough to form your own life perspective and learn your own lessons to prepare you for future problem solving. The only thing that's still missing is wisdom and that will come as well when time is right:)

   You should enjoy the age you have right now and all the benefits that come with it. And then remember that our life purpose should be to age beautifully:) Take the good things of all stages and move on wiser:)

Day 260. The right time

    "There's a right time for everything:

A right time for birth and another for death,

A right time to plant and another to reap,

A right time to destroy and another to construct,

A right time to cry and another to laugh,

A right time to lament and another to cheer,

A right time to make love and another to abstain,

A right time to embrace and another to part,

A right time to search and another to count your losses,

A right time to hold on and another to let go,

A right time to rip out and another to mend,

A right time to shut up and another to speak up."

(Eclesiastes 3:2-8)

    Today I realized that every period of human development has its own normal features even if they seem weird for the others: you can't blame a hungry child for being noisy, a teenager for feeling misunderstood or an adult for being overly protective with his child. 

   Also, I understood that no matter how much you want to move forward when you're a kid or backwards when you're an adult, trying to live in the future or in the past is of no use. You won't understand adults when you're a teenager nor will you understand teenagers when you're an adult. So why try to be somewhere else than the present? You know what they say. Learn from the past and hope for the future. Re-living the past periods won't make you wiser. It will only confuse you. So let go and come back where you belong. There's a right time for everything.  

  

Day 213. Quarter of a century

   I am Dana and I am now 25. I was always a good child. Obeying my parents, following the rules, not the one risking or making compromises. 

   I studied hard to be the best in my class and I succeeded. I went to Olympics in Romanian language, Geography, Religion and Latin, always studying in order to be able to change from a fragile caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. 

   I was a good teenager too. I was interested in my relationship with God. I liked to read and write literature. I was often daydreaming about that perfect love I'd find one day. I didn't like clubs and rude people. Instead, I loved spending time with my family by having walks in the nature. 

   I thought I was ugly because I was the only one in my class not having a boyfriend when I was in the 8th grade. I changed my mind afterwards. 

   I made a lot of friends. Some stayed, many left. I loved meeting new people online but I didn't have a computer until 6th grade and internet access began only while I was in the 8th grade. I had my first cell phone when I was in the 10th grade and life was still awesome. 

   During high school I met my best friend and we're inseparable ever since even though we took different roads. 

    I used to fall in love easily, always hoping that the one I found would be the one to save me, but none of them weren't. I found love and I lost it. I suffered for years. And then I moved on. I am now living a 4 year long love story that will hopefully lead to something strong and beautiful. 

   I graduated the faculty I wanted even though my father would have loved me to be a chemist. I was really, really uncertain about my future, but somehow I found my way back on track and now I have my dream job. It's been 7 months since I started. I love to help people around me and take photos.

   I had dreams and I accomplished them. I have a camera, I went abroad, I saw the seaside twice in the past 2 years. 

  Now I want to be a good mom and a good wife. I want to have my own family, a dog and a house of my own. I want to leave something behind. Something more than just a child. I still have to figure out how. 

   I am Dana and I am 25. I am the happiest I've ever been:) It's been an awfully long way up here but it was all worth it. To many more years of happiness!

Day 207. Magic is real!

   Today I was a mesmerized child myself:) I've seen a magician perform tricks for the first time in my life and boy what an experience that was!:) 

   I can certainly say that reality is more mind blowing than TV Shows! Even though there were just some classic tricks when I was there I felt time stopped and it was just me and the magician. Me staring in awe and him continuing to amaze me.
   The thing is you find no explanation to how different sized objects just appear under glasses or boxes. And that's exactly the beauty of it. The beauty of believing in magic, believing that there's more than science out there... And when you lose all that you stop being a child. 

   But why would I ever want to grow up? :)

Day 185. Lost and found

   Remember when weeks ago I said I wanted my child memories back? That I wanted to find something to remind of of how I was as a child? I did!!! 

   My uncle gave me this cassette I totally forgot about. I was recorded at the age of 4, 5 and 9 while reciting poems:) I had such a cute voice my heart melted:) My brother was barely learning to talk, my dad was trying to make him say "mom", "dad", "oops" and cute stuff like that:) My dear, dear grandma was around too. I almost burst into tears. It brought back the good, old times when everything was ok, when we were all together, when life was barely beginning. Now, we've grown up, life is uncertain and many of the good people have gone. 

   Sometimes I miss being a child, you know? I always find myself loving the craft work my kids do at the kindergarten and I just want to sit down with them and do whatever they're doing, play with them and listen to awesome lessons, live life all over again from the beginning. It's not that adult life is frightening, it's just that we forget how awesome that time was because "when we're little we want to grow up and when we've grown up we want to be little". 

   Still, being able to live again a small part of my childhood was awesome:) And the good part is that... memories are always alive! And they should be preserved. Today I learned that videos are better than photos. Unless we're in Harry Potter and we have moving photos:) 

Note to self: Make a very organized plan about preserving your kids' childhood:) 

Day 137. Now and then

   When I left the block where I live my whole body told me it was going to be a good day. I looked at the sky, inhaled the fresh morning air and I knew. I just knew that something good was going to happen. I believe in premonitions you know. They might not be very scientific and I don't often feel them, but when they happen, they are real. I lost my camera after I had a premonition and today was going to be just like I expected it to be.

   I started the workday visiting some kids. Their teacher was just organizing their portfolios containing collages, drawings and paintings. She told me the parents will receive them at the end of the school year. That made me think of how amazing it must feel when the kid grows up and you show him/her this portfolio that you hid well in a box under the bed. How funny will it be to remember childhood through some scribbles, how cute will it be when the parent will start telling stories about how he/she was at the age of 3. Then I suddenly asked myself: "Where are MY works? Where are MY scribbles? I don't remember much of anything from what I liked back then or how I used to draw or paint when I was in kindergarten. I only remember that pink and green go well together and I still use that thought":) So that's how I decided. I will definitely keep all my child's works from kindergarten. I will buy a biiiig box with flowers on top and I will pile them in there and when the kid is a teen who thinks his parents don't understand him, I'll open that box and start telling him the story of how much a mother loves her child. That was my first moment of happiness for today.

   The day went by and as the hours passed I went to meet my best friend in the mall. Surpriiiiise! She brought her grandma with her:) I love her granny! She's very talkative and funny and she likes being surrounded by people. So we sat down in a cafe and started chatting about life, work, people and how the beginnings are always tough, how a woman should be independent before marrying and how friends should stick together no matter what. She's a fountain of wisdom and I always love listening to her stories and life experiences. We then went shopping together (yes, I lost the last Temptation game) and found some AMAZING things that made my day, some little pieces of me waiting to be found and picked up:) Granny was awesome at giving advices. She was young right there, with us, having fun watching us try on clothes and commenting on how teenagerish or womanly those made me look like:) She's awesome and I love spending time with her! I felt tonight was another one of those "movie moments" I feel from time to time. 

   So this is how some people or things can change a regular day into something worth remembering:) In the end, I was right. It was a terrific day:)

Day 107. The city of lights

   Today most of the people began getting their homes ready for Christmas. I did that too. We cleaned our cozy home and I can't wait to bake cookies tomorrow! 

   My city is ready for Christmas as well:) It's full of lights that just make it seem magical. That's what Christmas is all about! Magic and childhood. So let's nurture the child inside us and enjoy these holidays as innocently as a child would:) 

   P.S.: Here's some proof of how amazing my city looks like around Christmas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdjo5vfzmaA&feature=youtu.be

Day 28. The future Johnny Depp

   I can already hear the girls go "OMG he's sooo cute!" I knooow, right? That's how all kindergarten kids are^^ 
   Of course I could have titled this "the future Brad Pitt", coz that's how people know I'm reffering to the handsome man this little one will become one day, but since I like Johnny better, let's just leave it to that:) 

  This beautiful child is the kind of boy you can't help yourself not loving:) I wish my child would be like him. Sooo adorable:)

P.S. Each day I think more and more about the fact that my blog should have been named "With and about kids" instead of My PhotoDiary:P I'm sorry for those of you who might get bored but I discover new parts of childhood every day and I can't help falling in love with my kids:) They're simply lovable:) Say it isn't so:)

(*Photos taken by phone lately. Sorry for the moving little ball of fur and for the poor quality)

Day 7. At peace

Have you ever felt that you had everything you wanted and you could die in that very moment and be at peace with yourself without feeling the fear that usually comes with death? I was at peace with myself today. I cried of happiness and that doesn't happen often. I realized I understand life differently and that I'm still a child... one that's eager to learn new lessons and help new people:) I love my job!:)