365 days project 2. Day 62. Finding peace of mind

   In a fast forward type of world where peace seems like a utopia, something adults wish for their birthday and Christmas and a dream achieved only by Buddhist monks, what can we actually do to have peace of mind?

   I thought a lot about this concept today. Of course I'm not a VILC - very important life coacher or some sort of guru. I've studied psychology but that doesn't make me wise. Not yet. So you can take the things I'm going to write about as a nice story to read or you can try to implement them in your life and see if they work. I'm talking purely based on my personal experience.

   I noticed that we talk the talk but we don't really walk the walk when we say we want to be at peace. No, really! Think about it. What have you actually done lately to be at peace? 

   You see, someone wise once said that first you have to be at peace with yourself and only then you can be at peace with the others. There are so many things that upset us, disappoint us, frustrate us or annoy us daily. And when that happens, I don't know about you, but I feel a pressure in my stomach and then I know I am feeling negative energy growing inside me. As much as I don't like the feeling, it helps me take action. Because when I feel that pressure I know something's wrong and I can stop and analyse what has just happened. I think that one important step in achieving peace of mind is trying to find an explanation to what happened, the source of the negative energy. The way we interpret the world brings us closer or pushes us further away from peace of mind. It's normal to not be all sunshine and rainbows every day. Being sad, upset, dissatisfied or frustrated is normal, but wallowing in those negative emotions doesn't help you or the others. Therefore, think about it. What made you feel like that? What can you do to fix the problem so you can be happy again? 

   Another step to reaching peace of mind is accepting what is happening to you. Sometimes some things will upset you but unfortunately you can't control everything. So if you just accept that other people might have different values, interests, needs and desires the world might seem less grim. So, take it as it comes. Don't stress about it, it will only bring negative energy around you. And then you're back to square one.

   Stop comparing yourself to the others. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again. You are different, they are different, but we can all live together in a happy world if you start liking yourself more and stop caring about what the others are doing. Are they happy? Good for them! What's stopping you from being happy? Remember, the way you interpret the world will make your day sunny or rainy :)

   Also, I recently read that going out in the nature to take a walk or just to sit down on a blanket and enjoy the view helps your brain relax and brings the wonderful feeling of peace of mind. How amazing is that?
   What are you waiting for? It's summer, go  out in the nature and relax. Peace of mind is sure to follow :) 

  

365 days project 2. Day 58. Flowers just bloom

   We compare ourselves to the others every single day. And not for the better. We don't learn from them. Not all the time. Rather we see what they have and we don't, be it looks, wealth, power, social position and so on. We want what they have and we start longing for a better life, a happier existence, an improved version of ourselves that we will never become. 

   

   Flowers don't care that they are merely daisies when colorful, fragrant, imposing roses live next door. Or that most people buy tulips. Or that peonies and poppies are all over the internet when they bloom because their life is so short and condensed it has to be remembered. Nope. Daisies just bloom, doing what they know best. Shouldn't we do the same?

   We're not perfect. We don't have the perfect, flawless personality, the perfect life and the perfect career. What if we start accepting ourselves and our life just the way it is right now and enjoy what we have? 

   You want more? Work hard until you get it but when you reach your goal stop and ask yourself "Is this really making me happy or is it an illusion so that I would look good in other people's eyes?" 

   We're not perfect so let's stop worrying and start blooming :) 

Day 362. Guilty pleasures

  We all had our guilty pleasures and we keep having them no matter how much we try to avoid it. We just can't help it. Be it a mainstream song with crappy lyrics and a catchy rhythm, a cheesy movie with good looking actors or a teenagerish book with nothing profound and life changing in its content. We think they're the opposite of everyday us and yet, they somehow make place into our life and we wake up liking them. Even though we'd never go for those if we had to pick.

   The interesting part is that if we're asked what we think about them, we strongly deny liking them. Maybe we do it because we want to keep the image we built over time, or maybe because these are rear events that happen here and there and don't really define us as a person. But why do we feel guilty every time we like something like that? Why all that dreadful feeling that only brings in bad energy? 

   I once saw a video of a man saying that we shouldn't accept such a term as "guilty pleasures" in our life. Because in the end, believe it or not, that's exactly who we are. And those tiny pieces are hidden deep inside us. Sure, we're not proud of them, but acceptance is the beginning of happiness. Nobody says that you have to put a status on Facebook with something like "Hey dudes, I'm a Metalist but I love Twilight." Nobody says you have to tell anybody about it. Maybe you wanna share it with your buddies and make fun of it, or maybe you wanna keep it for yourself but whatever you choose to do, learn to never feel guilty about liking something! Because deep there you know that thingie makes you feel good. Then why associate feeling good with guilt?:) Wouldn't it be easier to just accept it as part of your life and move on amused?:) Life's awesome. Keep it that way!

Day 353. It's funny

   It's funny how we can place our trust more easily in the hands of others rather than in our own hands. I guess it's easier to accept others than accept ourselves. Because we know ourselves better than anyone and we can see our flaws when the others can't. I guess they are the ones that stop us from embracing and loving ourselves the way the others love us. 

   It's funny how we can't believe it when people tell us we're beautiful or amazing. Maybe because we truly believe others are better. Why do we want to be perfect? Is it because of the society we live in? Because of the competition that is instilled in us since kindergarten?

   It's funny how we worry so easily and we over analyse every little reaction of a person we want to be accepted by. And it's even funnier that, without acknowledging it, that person feels the same about a different person he/she wants to be accepted by. It's a never ending circle of confusion and worry. 

   It's funny how often we say "I don't know what to do" when the answer lays right within us. Why would we rather ask people for solutions to our problems when all we have to do is close our eyes and listen? 

   It's funny how the social networks teach us to show off who we want to be rather than who we are. And so we post photos, we check in and we write statuses that show people how perfect we are and how awesome our life is when we're only doing it because we long for validation and appreciation and then we break so easily if they don't show the interest we're expecting.

   It's funny how we're all so messed up in our own way. It's sad that we don't accept ourselves for who we truly are and that we always try to be More in order to be liked when all we have to do is find the people who are just as messed up as we are:) But no, we want to be liked by everybody. Weird brain:) That's never gonna happen and at some point we gotta accept that. 

   So yeah, you're weird and you worry too much and you wanna be awesome but just stop for a sec and realize that you are perfect just the way you are right now. You just have to love yourself too:) The important people already do:)

Day 343. Stay positive

   We read motivational quotes every day on Facebook. Either because our friends share them or because we stumble upon them on different pages. We feel they're true but we only think about them at a metaphorical level and that's where they stay. We don't remember them in everyday life like we do with the 9gag posts or memes. Nevertheless, we keep liking them because we somehow want to be guided by them. "Live a happy life, don't care about the others, go on your own path, stop pretending to be someone else, enjoy life while it lasts" and so on. 

   Today I remembered one of those many quotes precisely because I saw it happening in real life. And then I understood its whole meaning. 

   Sounds pretty cliché, right? But what does that really mean? Why should we surround ourselves with Positive people and not just People in general? Why so much hippie attitude? I'm gonna tell you what I discovered and then maybe you wanna learn from it too. 

   I've been spending some days with some dear friends lately. Some awesome people, full of optimism, good vibe and energy. Artists or generally people who understand art. I've enjoyed myself so much and looking back I know those are the kind of people I want to be surrounded by all the time. Because they bring out the best in me. They make me accept myself just like I am even if I make mistakes. They're not the kind of people to criticize every wrong step. Instead, they help you get back on track while making you smile or they ignore your mistake knowing that you'll learn from it either way. They see life as a gift and they enjoy every little thing that could brighten their day, be it a yummy soup, a good concert or drinking a beer while you're sitting on the pavement. Surely, they have reasons to be unhappy. The society we live in is not perfect, but they know that they shouldn't pay attention to that if they want to live a happy life.  

   And then I came home. Here I have different type of people surrounding me. The kind of people who call themselves "realistic". The ones who think about every little thing that could go wrong before starting an action, the ones who criticize and judge people around them. The same ones who think that life is a burden and it would be better if we moved to a different country in order to live a decent life. They make me feel uncomfortable and indirectly they make me think like they do even if that's not who I wanna be. But they are the ones who surround me every day, so it's hard to think differently. I'm not happy when I'm around them and I feel I'm not accepted so I have moments when I can't wait to get away from them. 

   So here it is. Here's how positive and negative people can make you feel and this is why you should choose to be surrounded only by positive people. I know, sometimes you have to live with the negative ones cos they're family, but try to accept them and still be you. Listen to their opinions but live life your own way. In the end that's why it's called YOUR life:) 

Day 295. Broken

   Today I realized how broken I am... aren't we all? And as much as I don't want to depend on people, that's just how we're built: we need someone who's patient enough to stick around us and gently give us back to ourselves fixing all our broken pieces so that afterwards we can go and fix somebody else until we all paid it forward. 

   It's funny how we're all patients and doctors in the same time. And it's even funnier how the fixing process happens. Sometimes we're so stubborn in not wanting to be fixed but we want to fix them all around us so they would match our pattern. But can we really change every unique being into something just like us? 

   So we should better accept them as they are and fix them when they ask for it. And finally let ourselves be fixed. In the end, we're all broken, aren't we?

Day 209. Yes, I can!

   Once upon a time there was a boy called Ionuț. He loved climbing rees and walking in the forest. His best friend was a big, black dog called Azorel. One day... 

   We're evaluating kids this week. The ones that are some months below the appropriate age for going to school. So we want to see if they're ready or not. The story above is one of the tests. They have to listen to it carefully and then say what they remember of it. And in the second part of the evaluation they have to copy a lot of geometric figures. You should see their drawings!:) It's really interesting to observe them while they are at it. It makes me feel like a little scientist and I'm loving it:) 
   The good part is that most of the kids I evaluated have good skills, but the other ones have big self esteem issues. And it's a pity because it's going to be like carrying a heavy backpack around for the rest of their lives... just because they wanted to be perfect and not let their parents down. 
   The worst part is that we're like them, too. We don't trust ourselves the way we should. We always look around for appreciation and if we don'g get it, we lose any shred of confidence. There goes "I can". 
   A kid started to cry today because he made a little mistake. The rest of the drawings were perfect, but that one thing made him lose it. How often are we like him? How often do we look around for appreciation when it's ourselves we should look at first? I think we should all accept ourselves and trust that we CAN do it, whatever it is that life prepared for us:) 

Remember: you can do a lot more than you think you can:) 

So let's start from there:) 

Day 198. Feed your soul

   ... as much as your body! You'll feed your body inevitably, but who's going to think about your soul? And stop thinking you have to look perfect but don't get lazy and bend the rules either! Work on feeding your body properly and exercise!  

   Then make a plan about feeding your soul! You know the ways, just make sure you put it into practice! Because in the end a well fed soul is just as important as a well fed body:)

"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open."

~ Jawaharlal Nehru

Day 171. Accepting change

   There are many times when we believe we know what we want. We set some goals and follow them blindly until we're very close to reaching them. But right then something happens and we change our mind. We realize we don't want that exact thing anymore, that we actually need something else that can make us just as happy or even happier. So we get the other thing and we smile satisfied. Thinking back to what we first wanted we notice we've been wrong all along... that sometimes we have to accept change even if at first we're really stubborn and think we know what's best for us. Embracing other people's opinions, even if it's about something major concerning your life, is a sign of wisdom. Not everybody can do it:)

   My brother accepted change today and he got an amazing couch. I accepted change and I realized that working in a kindergarten is way better than my ex high school. Sometimes you just gotta accept there's something else you need. It's hard at first, but if you go with the flow and trust people around you, the result is going to make you even happier. So don't be afraid to let them step in your life and give you advice. Don't be afraid to accept change:)

Day 160. A blessing in disguise

   Many times when misfortune strikes we start pitying ourselves and we expect to receive kind words that will help us move on. But if we have the power to close our eyes and breathe, stand back and see the whole situation from a different perspective, we find out that misfortunes are really blessings in disguise.

   Haven't I frequently told myself that I need a break and that I want to spend time with myself? Well today I realized my sickness gave me just that. I wanted to go to work by all means but sometimes we just gotta follow the signs and accept the road life leads us onto. It's not easy to do that while in denial or being blinded by sorrow, but after some time we get the chance to see the real meaning behind it all. I am now relaxing and gathering my forces to help kids understand that life isn't how they want it all the time... and maybe I should learn that lesson myself:)