365 days project 2. Day 69. Signs

   How often does it happen that you watch a movie about Greece that makes you fall in love with that country and you decide to travel there the following year... and then you take a bus and you randomly sit down next to this word? I think it's a sign the Universe is sending me :) A sign that I should really go there :D Or at least I choose to believe so.

   Maybe you don't believe in signs. Maybe you think they're just funny coincidences. But you see, if you choose to believe in signs then life starts having a little more meaning... as long as you pay attention to the ones that will improve your life and make you happier. Being paranoid didn't help anybody. 

   Today Zeus made me happy. Now I know what country is next on my travelling list: Greece!

Day 362. Guilty pleasures

  We all had our guilty pleasures and we keep having them no matter how much we try to avoid it. We just can't help it. Be it a mainstream song with crappy lyrics and a catchy rhythm, a cheesy movie with good looking actors or a teenagerish book with nothing profound and life changing in its content. We think they're the opposite of everyday us and yet, they somehow make place into our life and we wake up liking them. Even though we'd never go for those if we had to pick.

   The interesting part is that if we're asked what we think about them, we strongly deny liking them. Maybe we do it because we want to keep the image we built over time, or maybe because these are rear events that happen here and there and don't really define us as a person. But why do we feel guilty every time we like something like that? Why all that dreadful feeling that only brings in bad energy? 

   I once saw a video of a man saying that we shouldn't accept such a term as "guilty pleasures" in our life. Because in the end, believe it or not, that's exactly who we are. And those tiny pieces are hidden deep inside us. Sure, we're not proud of them, but acceptance is the beginning of happiness. Nobody says that you have to put a status on Facebook with something like "Hey dudes, I'm a Metalist but I love Twilight." Nobody says you have to tell anybody about it. Maybe you wanna share it with your buddies and make fun of it, or maybe you wanna keep it for yourself but whatever you choose to do, learn to never feel guilty about liking something! Because deep there you know that thingie makes you feel good. Then why associate feeling good with guilt?:) Wouldn't it be easier to just accept it as part of your life and move on amused?:) Life's awesome. Keep it that way!

Day 356. The lovely bones

   I just saw a powerful movie. The lovely bones. It messed me up completely. Now anything I see on Facebook seems so mundane, random and useless. Because it was about a 14 year old girl who was murdered and kept in between the worlds the whole movie. I know, it sounds rather cliche but it was so painful to watch the reaction of her family. A beautiful, perfect family who didn't deserve this. How do you get over something like this? How can you continue to live your life and cope with such an intense pain? And how can a serial killer not get caught after more than 7 similar acts?

   The ending messed me up more than anything: "I was here and now I'm not. Have a long and happy life". I connected to that more than anything because I once had a dream where I was murdered myself. And in the dream, after I realized what had just happened, my voice narrated: "This was my life: short and unfulfilled." Yep. I was here and now I'm not. I had my whole life ahead of me and now I don't anymore. That freaks me out. Death freaks me out. 

   My high school psychology teacher used to say that we'd be nuts not to be afraid of dying. So I guess it's all natural. I don't wanna go though. I wanna get old and bored of living before going. I don't wanna see dear people die. I couldn't bear it. Death is such a frightening concept. And we keep living life avoiding it as much as we can with the illusion of immortality imprinted in us. Because how else could we step over the lovely bones of all the painful experiences we've been through? We close our eyes and step in the unknown. And hope for the best.

Day 354. Empathy gone wrong

   Today was one of those days when you empathized with the weather more than you had planned to. You let the gloomy clouds and the heavy rain get to you, so you were cranky and bored all day and you knew nothing you do could change that. 

   You wish things could be different and you could be like other people who just see rain as mere water coming from the sky and gloomy clouds as random weather. Today you wish that more than ever. You know everything is an illusion and it's all in your head as much as you know you can't really control it. You tried it before and it was always more powerful than you. 

   It is what it is. So maybe the only option available in this case is finding something that would turn your day upside down. A reason to smile, a reason to fall in love with today:) Guess what, when you want it hard enough, that reason reveals to you and even if outside it's pouring rain the sun inside will keep shining:) At least that's what happened to me, even if it was just a little movie which totally spoke to me. It was enough to make me go to bed full of hope like any other day.

Day 350. Life is a movie

   Do you remember the movies that turned your life around for some minutes? The ones that made you question life, your whole existence and the purpose of being here, on this planet? 

   Do you remember the movies with magic or aliens which made you think that maybe there is something else out there, something we know nothing about because it's so tabu and hard to explore and control that it's better not to scare people with it? Or the movies with wars and freaky criminals that made you be thankful you're living a peaceful life without having to face all those atrocities?  

   These are the movies you'll always remember. The ones that make you face your deepest fears, the ones that answer questions and help you find yourself in the middle of it all. They make you look in the mirror and see reality with different eyes. The way you should have always seen it. They are glimpses of your soul, pieces of puzzle you have to stick together to encounter the real you. And you need that more than anything because

But first you must know who you are. So learn that by watching movies. Let them help you find yourself and open your eyes to all possibilities. There's more out there can you can grasp right now.

Day 312. The ultimate gift

   There are a loooot of movies out there: the bad ones you regret having watched, the ones perfect for a boring Sunday afternoon, those that are half bad and half good and you don't know if you like them or not, the ones that are pretty good but the subject might be somewhat overused and then... there are the ones that just leave you breathless. The cornerstones. The ones that sweep you off your feet. Those that take you by the hand and by the time you realized what happened you're already living life alongside with the characters, experience intense emotions with them, laugh and cry and learn. Learn a lot of things. Learn that the mere fact of you having been born is important. 

   "The ultimate gift" is one of the cornerstones. The kind of movie you're glad you're alive to have seen it. The kind that changes your life forever and reminds you how important it is to LIVE life. Enjoy every bit of it. Leave behind all the unnecessary baggage you're dragging with you daily and finally wake up and see what's Important. The kind of movie everybody should see. So if you haven't seen it by now, just go and do it. I promise you won't regret it:)

"Neither love, nor hate thy life; but what thou livest, live well; however long or short may the heavens permit."

Day 202. The strong movies

   ... are just like a good book:) They sweep you off your feet only to put you down in the characters' shoes. So, in the end you totally forget who you are. You will no longer be yourself. Instead, you'll be that man who just killed a boy, his lover and the dead boy's family altogether. You will be so caught up in it that you won't feel the need to eat, drink or think about ANYTHING else that will be going on in your life right then. My friends and I went to the cinema to watch a Romanian awarded movie: "Poziția Copilului". It surely was a strong one since it made me feel all the above. 

   And yet again it's really interesting how a simple movie can tackle the right parts in you in order to make you feel emotions, relate, feel empathy and live everything WITH the people in the movie:) Rare, yet beautiful. So beautiful that this movie reminded me I need to broaden my horizons and watch something else than just American movies:) In the end, awesome scenarios are everywhere:)

Day 144. Freeze

   I wish time would freeze for me in the morning. I'd like to be able to turn it off as you do with a timer and linger under the cozy blanket and when I'm bored of the sheets of my bed and the movies or TV shows that i can watch, then and only then unfreeze time and go back to doing what I have to do that day. 

   Life moves on whether we're ready for it or not and we have to roll with it. Every day I promise myself I would go to sleep one or two hours earlier but I never do it. I barely have any free time after work anyway so going to sleep earlier would only shorten that awesome time of the day... And then it gets harder and harder to wake up in the morning. I wish I drank coffee. Maybe that way I wouldn't go through all this unpleasant situation. But I don't, so I have to keep my thoughts together and find something to motivate myself in order to move. I wish time would freeze for me.