Day 348. Rules are meant to be broken

   ... or at least bent. That's what they say. I know, it sounds rather teenagerish and rebellious to say that in a society that's based on rules, one than cannot survive without them. I am aware of the fact that the world would be a total chaos without rules or if we wouldn't stick to them, but from time to time if you get out of that shell and you go your way instead of their way, life suddenly seems way more interesting and exciting. No wonder, huh? 

   Yeah, I bent a rule today and I felt good. Then I felt guilty (of course). But after that I remembered I always stick to the rules and I follow them blindly. If there's someone who does that for a living, well, that's me. But today I chose not to. And boy it felt good. "Eating the forbidden fruit". Mmm. Just as exciting as when we're kids and we steal a French fry from mommy's plate. Just as exciting as when we're teens and we skip a class and go on the highest hill in the city with out classmates and we listen to "Sweet escape" while wildly running around playing tag. Mmm. The sweet feeling follows us everywhere. And it's just as sweet every time we bend a rule. 

   In the end, if you don't hurt anybody and if you don't cause others damage, I guess bending the rules from time to time can sparkle your life a little bit. And we all need sparkle, don't we?:) 

Day 295. Broken

   Today I realized how broken I am... aren't we all? And as much as I don't want to depend on people, that's just how we're built: we need someone who's patient enough to stick around us and gently give us back to ourselves fixing all our broken pieces so that afterwards we can go and fix somebody else until we all paid it forward. 

   It's funny how we're all patients and doctors in the same time. And it's even funnier how the fixing process happens. Sometimes we're so stubborn in not wanting to be fixed but we want to fix them all around us so they would match our pattern. But can we really change every unique being into something just like us? 

   So we should better accept them as they are and fix them when they ask for it. And finally let ourselves be fixed. In the end, we're all broken, aren't we?

Day 179. Go with the wind

   Today a furious wind took over the city. Even if the sun was trying to shine and make everything look brighter, the wind would always be one step ahead. 

   I changed my coat today. Took a lighter one. And the wind took me by surprise. This made me think of the times when we're taken by surprise and we go with the wind that steal us away from ourselves. Would you let yourself be bent and broken by the wind? Or would you stand still and fight? Would you start complaining or would you do something about it? Sometimes it's ok to go with the wind because it's like going with the flow, but in most cases doing this can only cause you more trouble. 

    So, less going with the wind and more fighting. Become a warrior. Stand still and always remember who you are and what you want. Never let them set boundaries that harm your personality, your real self. Be yourself no matter the weather! Be strong! 

Day 149. Revive

   I don't know about you but I've never been good at caring for houseplants. They need a lot of attention. Each of them is special in its own way and you have to be careful how much you water them and so on.

   So you can imagine how frustrated I was when one of the few houseplants that I received and LIVED has been bent down and broken by accident. I loved my little begonia and her yellow flowers... now she has just two leaves left. 

    ... I know, what an unimportant issue that seems to be while students aren't passing their exams and people are dying out there of cancer and other serious illnesses... It surprised me too. I didn't think I'd react like that, but that little begonia was like my child... and now she's almost dead. That got me from frustration to sadness. I didn't lose my hope yet, though. I'm going to take good care of her remaining two leaves and hope she'll be just like a phoenix raising from her ashes:) 

   I decided I have to be more careful since every action we do has its own consequence around us, just like a little pebble thrown away in a lake. 

    “The thing about real life is, when you do something stupid, it normally costs you. In books the heroes can make as many mistakes as they like. It doesn't matter what they do, because everything works out in the end. They'll beat the bad guys and put things right and everything ends up cool.

In real life, vacuum cleaners kill spiders. If you cross a busy road without looking, you get whacked by a car. If you fall from a tree, you break some bones.

    Real life's nasty. It's cruel. It doesn't care about heroes and happy endings and the way things should be. In real life, bad things happen. People die. Fights are lost. "  

- Darren Shan

Day 66. Fix you

   We're all broken one way or another. Problems, worries and disappointments, they all break us up. But it's up to us to fix ourselves to be able to smile again. 

   We need to focus on the things that we DO have and be thankful for them instead of worrying about the ones we don't, we need to stop the gloomy thoughts and start trusting life again because she wants to embrace us and we should let her. 

Let's be creative and make the best out of what we have now:)