365 project 2. Day 64. B U

   You are so special! I know that sometimes you forget how special you are because you seem not to know how to accept compliments or because when a big challenge comes you think that it's too big for you. Other times you think you are small and insignificant because that's how society or family made you feel your whole life. But, you know what? It's all a nightmare and you can wake up from it whenever you want. What about NOW?  Believe me! You are very, very special and unique. And I'm not just saying it because that's what goes around on the internet. I know because otherwise you wouldn't have been born on this beautiful, amazing planet. 

   It doesn't matter if you're gay or transgender, it doesn't matter how you look like, it doesn't matter if you had a tough childhood or not, or if you had zero friends for the longest time because you never knew how to make friends, if your classmates all had a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you were the only single person in your class. It doesn't matter if you were bullied for being a nerd, for being fat, for being gay or whatever else. Nothing matters if you stop believing them. Just let them speak and close the doors of your mind around them.
   You are special. You are amazing. You have so much potential to help the others grow. But you have to grow first. Believe in yourself. Accept compliments. Laugh more. Go out and explore the world. Be you. B. U. whoever you want to be.

Think happy thoughts

Dear diary,

   I'm a perfectionist. So I worry a lot. Sometimes I think that maybe things won't go as planned and I envision a posible bad outcome believing that this way I would be prepared for whatever comes. "Always be prepared for the bad things", my dad said. But in all my worry and irrational thinking I forget how important and life changing happy thoughts are. How just by envisioning a positive outcome, I already bring it closer. 

   I won't lie, it's difficult to try to think positive no matter what especially when you've been brought up a certain way. But I know kids do it all the time. If they can wake up every morning with a smile on their face forgetting about yesterday, why can't we? What I love about kids the most is how, because of their still developing brain, they can't think too far ahead. And boy, does that help. They focus on here and now and that's all they know. They do learn from their mistakes, but they can't plan for the long term future. So unless they really miss their mommy or some friend doesn't want to play with them, they don't worry. How amazing that is! 

   Because of the society we live in and because of all the accumulated negative emotional baggage we always seem to carry with us we step forward with fear and we lose touch with the inner child and the positive thoughts we can have. But the good thing is that we can teach our brain to focus on different things than it's used to. We, unlike kids, can solve problems so much easier and sometimes just by re-directing our thoughts. Isn't that amazing?

   So today I'm thinking happy thoughts even if the weather outside is kind of sad. I know I can bring the sun on the cloudy sky by drawing it in my mind. Because people are THAT powerful :)

Happy,

D.

Day 353. It's funny

   It's funny how we can place our trust more easily in the hands of others rather than in our own hands. I guess it's easier to accept others than accept ourselves. Because we know ourselves better than anyone and we can see our flaws when the others can't. I guess they are the ones that stop us from embracing and loving ourselves the way the others love us. 

   It's funny how we can't believe it when people tell us we're beautiful or amazing. Maybe because we truly believe others are better. Why do we want to be perfect? Is it because of the society we live in? Because of the competition that is instilled in us since kindergarten?

   It's funny how we worry so easily and we over analyse every little reaction of a person we want to be accepted by. And it's even funnier that, without acknowledging it, that person feels the same about a different person he/she wants to be accepted by. It's a never ending circle of confusion and worry. 

   It's funny how often we say "I don't know what to do" when the answer lays right within us. Why would we rather ask people for solutions to our problems when all we have to do is close our eyes and listen? 

   It's funny how the social networks teach us to show off who we want to be rather than who we are. And so we post photos, we check in and we write statuses that show people how perfect we are and how awesome our life is when we're only doing it because we long for validation and appreciation and then we break so easily if they don't show the interest we're expecting.

   It's funny how we're all so messed up in our own way. It's sad that we don't accept ourselves for who we truly are and that we always try to be More in order to be liked when all we have to do is find the people who are just as messed up as we are:) But no, we want to be liked by everybody. Weird brain:) That's never gonna happen and at some point we gotta accept that. 

   So yeah, you're weird and you worry too much and you wanna be awesome but just stop for a sec and realize that you are perfect just the way you are right now. You just have to love yourself too:) The important people already do:)

Day 348. Rules are meant to be broken

   ... or at least bent. That's what they say. I know, it sounds rather teenagerish and rebellious to say that in a society that's based on rules, one than cannot survive without them. I am aware of the fact that the world would be a total chaos without rules or if we wouldn't stick to them, but from time to time if you get out of that shell and you go your way instead of their way, life suddenly seems way more interesting and exciting. No wonder, huh? 

   Yeah, I bent a rule today and I felt good. Then I felt guilty (of course). But after that I remembered I always stick to the rules and I follow them blindly. If there's someone who does that for a living, well, that's me. But today I chose not to. And boy it felt good. "Eating the forbidden fruit". Mmm. Just as exciting as when we're kids and we steal a French fry from mommy's plate. Just as exciting as when we're teens and we skip a class and go on the highest hill in the city with out classmates and we listen to "Sweet escape" while wildly running around playing tag. Mmm. The sweet feeling follows us everywhere. And it's just as sweet every time we bend a rule. 

   In the end, if you don't hurt anybody and if you don't cause others damage, I guess bending the rules from time to time can sparkle your life a little bit. And we all need sparkle, don't we?:) 

Day 319. Keep learning

   We learn all our life: at first what we need in order to survive and then what others think it's good to know. This is how we're taught to understand life: through other people's eyes. 

   Some of us wake up in the middle of the road and start questioning everything we know. Then we decide we want more. More than society instills in us. We want to learn what We feel is right, what We need. 

   That's when the world is separated in two: the ones who follow blindly all the steps in order to be "well integrated" and the ones who are never satisfied, who want to learn more. The ones who go out and explore, who are not afraid to admit they're different. The same ones who are excited to learn even after school ends because they like what they're learning. So we keep doing it and enjoying what we do while the others keep complaining and hating life if it doesn't give them money or power. We don't need those things to be happy. Our happiness is found in the small details, in the things we love learning because they help us live beautifully not because it's mandatory. 

   Which of the two are you? It's never too late to wake up and question everything you know. Never too late to keep learning and enjoy what you're doing:)

Day 162. We are beautiful

 "We are beautiful no matter what they say. Words won't bring us down. We are beautiful in every single way. Words can't bring us down, so don't you bring me down today."

    Today I watched "Romanians have talent". I truly believe they do and it's actually one of the reasons I want to stay in this country. One of the contestants was a girl with health problems (dwarfism) who sang "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. The whole moment was so powerful everybody shed a tear. While watching her sing I realized she was right. It really doesn't matter how we look like, the real deal is on the inside. But we keep forgetting that because society tries to make us want to lose weight and resemble those girls in the magazines, thus we're never satisfied with how we look and we're caught in the middle of wanting to eat a bar of chocolate and feeling guilty if we do because we have to look perfect. You know what, the only thing that matters is that "Too much is not good." So let's get rid of the "This is how we should look" idea and accept ourselves just the way we are, but most importantly, accept the others and try to get past our prejudices because they didn't want to be born this way. They're humans just like us and many times they're better than the rest of us. Let's open our eyes and learn.