Roller coasting

   Have you ever ridden a roller coaster? If you have then you know there are two options while on it: either madly laugh or scream in fear. The ride isn't smooth and you know it. There are plenty exciting going ups and just as many steep going downs. At the end of the ride, you go home bearing that photo that reminds you of your adventure. Will you be sitting somewhere alone, frightened and with a dreadful look on your face? Or will you be holding tight onto someone next to you or maybe even on that safety equipment but bear a huge grin on your face?

   Life is always going up and down. In fact, you're in a perpetual roller coaster since you're born whether you want it or not. But how you react to it and to the lack of control is what decides what happens next. You can give into that fear that bursts into your body when going down or you can close your eyes and enjoy the ride knowing that whatever happens everything will be OK in the end. 

   Sometimes... okay, many times in our life we lose control. How do you react? Do you get scared, blame someone for it and then become angry with that someone? Will anger solve your problems? Why not let it be and enjoy the things you can control? 

   I wonder why we give into fear and anger so easily... Some say it's because we don't trust ourselves and we have a low self esteem, that when we lose control while having a low self esteem it seems like the ground is shifting beneath our feet... so we start getting angry to regain that control. But that anger is just a mere illusion:) What do you think? How do you react when you can't control things?

Day 326. Age beautifully

   Today I took the emotional roller coaster through all ages of my life until now. I've been a furious child, an overly emotional teenager and ended up as a confident adult. 

   I realized all ages have their benefits and their disadvantages. When you're a kid you depend on your parents for everything but you have no problems whatsoever and life is just a game. When you're a teen you don't know who you are or what you want, you wanna be cool and you still can't be independent, but you're wilder and more full of life, hopes and dreams than you'll ever be. When you're an adult you start facing different problems. Sometimes small ones, other times life changing ones, but you're finally independent, you know who you are, what you want and you can get it. You might not see life as pink as you once did, but you're surely not as confused and emotional as you used to be in adolescence nor are you as intolerant to frustration as you were as a child. You've already been through enough to form your own life perspective and learn your own lessons to prepare you for future problem solving. The only thing that's still missing is wisdom and that will come as well when time is right:)

   You should enjoy the age you have right now and all the benefits that come with it. And then remember that our life purpose should be to age beautifully:) Take the good things of all stages and move on wiser:)

Day 166. Yin and yang

   Isn't life a continuous sequence of ups and downs, yins and yangs mingling everywhere around us? Today I had them both.

   My roller coaster took a steep descend in a hole where family doctors don't do their job properly. That usually happens everywhere in Romania. People are too tired of waiting and doctors are too impatient to go home. And this is how you never know your diagnosis or how to take your pills. 

   However, the upside part is that I've been told I look fine (let's hope my doctor's right) and that can mean just one thing: Everything is ending well. It was a rough war and my sickness won a few battles, but I seem to have won the war:) No more staying in bed, no more pain of any sorts, no more pills. 

   I can't wait to read this post in a couple of months and laugh about how much of a drama queen I've let myself be these days, but maybe all this happened because I needed to feel people close to me. And I did. I know there are people out there who really care about me so I'm moving on with a smile on my lips:) Let's lead the roller coaster upwards!:) It's time for some happiness!:D

Day 161. Down memory lane

   Here we are, the controversial V Day is here. Half love it, half hate it. I personally don't need a special day to reassure my loved one of my feelings. We're not cliche. We're celebrating 3 years and a half instead and that's something. Way better than exchanging plushies and heart shaped candy. Even though, I admit that the idea of this special day is very cute since it's called after Valentino, a priest of Rome who was marrying couples even if he wasn't allowed to do it. So he was indeed the messenger of love and this day should remind us of true love, young love, that kind of love that lasts forever. Unfortunately, the society we live in commercialized it and it's now all about gifts, hotel rooms and red underwear. That's why I decided not to celebrate it. 

   I couldn't help going down memory lane though. Today I opened my chest of treasures. I found old letters and memories that reminded of who I was years ago, my hopes, dreams and love stories back then. I realized that my past prepared me for meeting my true love. Before him my life was a continuous roller coaster of falling in love and breaking up, but every past boyfriend wrote some lines in my book that helped me understand who I am and what I'm looking for. I realized that you can have beauty, but not wisdom. You can receive "I love you"s but not feel them back, you can have protection, but not a best friend to share everything with. So this is how I know I found the one. My best friend, my lover, the one that makes me feel complete. 

              

                     I love you, baby!:)