365 days project 2. Day 74. Busy vs Bored

    Sooooo, summer is here. And some of us don't work in summer. Yeah, I know you hate me by now but just bear with me a little and then you'll see you're actually in a better position... 

   Once summer holiday begins, everybody's happy we're all finally free to do W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R. we want. And that sounds like a holy chant. In the first week. Ok, maybe in the second week too. But in the third week of being at home and studying for your summer exam and doing nothing else... you're getting bored pretty easily. No TV show that before sounded so good is actually good enough to fight boredom away. You get creative cooking new dishes, you try to do something (new) every day, and still, some times you just feel dead bored. And then you start thinking: is it better to be busy all day or to be bored? My answer? Busy! A thousand times busy! I can't just sit around all day and look at the walls. You'd ask: so what's preventing you from going for a walk and exploring the city, finding a new hobby or just catching up with friends? The answer? I did those things. And summer holiday is still boring. Until you discover coloring books and you listen to your favorite songs while you switch colors around and mix them all together in a beautiful summer mess. So now I know: that's what lazy summer days are for: ART! :)

My December

   Dear diary,

   My December's been crazy so far: Advent calendars to open, tasks to accomplish, work in the kindergarten, prepare for an exam and a long trip to Bucharest. I felt taken away in a fast carousel that I could barely keep up with. I had moments (still do) when I wished I could have paused time so that I could have enjoyed every day left till Christmas because each year I get the feeling that time passes too fast in December. 

    So I went to Bucharest:) It's been a trip that came at the perfect moment cos I've never seen it in December. Never seen its lights, its fairs, its gifts and treasures. And you know how much I love Christmas and traveling.

   At first I had to solve the exam thingie. So I took my friend and tried to find an address in a huge city I didn't know. What did I do? I asked around. Cos Google maps drops my phone battery like crazy. The exam experience was way better than I anticipated. Those people really liked what I was telling them. They were smiling and enjoying it and we had such a pleasant conversation. You know how oral exams are. You go out and people ask you: "How was it?" and then you say "Okay, I guess." I told them "It was GREAT!" while grinning. How many people do that?

   Then, after checking the Must Do thing in the big city, there came visiting my dear friends and a planned journey to see the Christmas lights. But somewhere among all those I got time to observe and think. Bucharest seems to have a completely different culture than Cluj. They have a funny accent, they react and behave differently, they are... a different species. And as much as I loved riding the subway it was sooo weird to get confused every time I had to change it. No worries, Bucharest people looked just as confused. How weird is that? So I decided. I wouldn't move to the capital even if I got a big, fat salary. I love my dear city. It's easy, comfy and it has everything I need in it. Including family, friends, boyfriend, dream job and everything else. 

   On the other hand, Bucharest had awesome things as well: wonderful friends, amazing Christmas lights, yummy fairs and a lot of experiences waiting to be lived. I bought the cheapest books, the cutest decorations and I received the best Advent calendar! Not to mention the happy tears of listening to a friend playing the piano on notes of Debussy or singing Adele. 

   It was a perfect experience: the sound of the train, scary people, cute people, warm people, helpful people, crowds everywhere, lights, lights, lights, mulled wine, comfy dizziness, Advent, happy tears, life stories on the train. It was my December or at least the first half of it:) 

Day 333. Believe

   Today was one of those really happy days for me:) Because I got the exam result and it was astronomical. Wow! I knew the music teacher (our exam supervisor) did an awesome job psychologically preparing us for the exam, that I loved the subjects (they were exactly what I wished for) and that I had an interesting idea for one of the subjects and all that made me very proud and confident while writing the exam, but giving the last year's experience when I thought I did good and seemingly I didn't, I didn't know what to expect this year. So in the end, looks like I overestimated the difficulty of the exam and I was wrong to stop believing in myself when I got the last year's result. 

   So what I learned today is that whenever you want to do something and you want it bad, believe in yourself. Believe you can and stretch all your resources to get where you want and remember that no matter how difficult the target might look like, it's always achievable if you believe in yourself. Trust that you can reach all your goals no matter how utopian they might look like. Know that the feeling of confidence will boost everything else in the right direction. Sure, there's competition and the resources might be scarce but know that you can. You can achieve anything you set for yourself, be it an awesome job, an amazing boyfriend, vacation destinations or anything else:) 

   Also, what I learned is that whenever you are confident you can move the mountains and nobody can take that feeling from you:) So hold on tight to it! You Will move the mountains if you believe!:)

Day 327. Another day to remember

   This is the day. The day when all studying ends and we try to convince other people that we know what psychology is about. We let them come into our world and hope they will like it enough to give us a high mark and let us enjoy the next year of our life in a good workplace. 

   That's what teachers do. They take an exam each year and hope for the best. They get ready for it for months, so that's how friends and family forget how they look like. They all can't wait for it to be over. And one day, today, the loop ends. Anxiety is coming to the surface and worrying thoughts swim across the mind. Teachers don't know what lays ahead of them, they just hope for the best. And then something happens. Something that changes their day.

 

   I wasn't nervous this morning. Not because I studied hard and I was confident or because I received the opportunity to work in the same kindergarten next year... but because of her. The wise music teacher. One of the examination supervisors. One that knew psychology better than we did and that had to lose it all to reach wisdom and be able to teach others how to cool down and laugh their stress away before a big exam. One that gave us a life lesson. 

   We had to wait for a whole hour before the exam and in that time she took our minds off of it. We were no longer in a foreign class, in a foreign school, waiting for the exam subjects to be delivered to us. We were attending an awesome course about happiness. She told us that the key to happiness isn't getting attached to the people around us. Happiness is loving and setting them free. Free to be themselves, not the ones we expect them to be. And, among others, she reminded me that when we want something, we should believe in getting it and ask for it with all our heart. And it shall be given to us because of our faith:) 

   So when the subjects came in, I bet all of us asked to have an easy exam and get a high mark:) It's funny how we needed to meet this woman to psychologically prepare us for an exam on psychology:)  And it's awesome that we did. Cos in the end when the subjects came in we were all confident that we could be the best version of ourselves right there, on that paper, and I donno about the others, but I enjoyed that exam. Some interesting ideas popped in my mind, some that might pleasantly impress the teacher reading my paper, the same ones that made me smile during the exam because that teacher changed my life and I needed her there. I needed her to tell me that attachment is not love and that love is setting people free from our expectations:) I was already in that battle with myself lately and her verbalizing it meant I took the right decision.

   Everything does happen for a reason:)

Day 323. Different yet so alike

   People are funny when it comes to studying for an exam. Nobody likes to study but we all find something to make us do it after all.

   Some start early because they want to make sure they make it to the deadline and they're very organized when it comes to setting goals and achieving them. They're the ones who, somehow, find something to like in everything they study and so they're usually the bullied ones. The ones who spend their days studying their heads off and end up saying "why am I the only one studying?" However, after the exam, we all know they take the highest grades. And believe me, sometimes grades do make a difference in our life.

   Others start at some random point when they feel it's the right time or maybe when they are reminded they have an upcoming exam. They're not really driven to study, but they do it anyway because afterwards they'll get some sort of reward. These are the majority of the people. If they were in the right spot (school, university, work place of their choice) they'd like what they would be doing so they'd study early. Nevertheless, it's a good thing they find something to keep them going.

   The last category starts studying a couple of days before the actual exam when they realize they can't procrastinate anymore. They say they don't want to forget what they just studied but we all know that's a lie. They are the ones who start studying only because they know they have to. They hate it and so they try to cram it up and hope to God they'll be given one of the two subjects they took a glimpse at. Sometimes they're lucky, other times they're not.

   The thing is that right before the exam we all magically remember we don't like studying and therefore only two options will be available for everybody: we either feel like we don't know anything or we don't care anymore and we just want it to be over so we could start enjoying our life again.

   I know, I shouldn't complain since I love what I'm doing and I sometimes enjoy what I'm reading for the exam, but you know, we all get there. To the point where we say "No more!" And that's when people who have studied for 2 months take a break and do whatever they want because they can afford it and then they face the exam knowing they'll handle it no matter what. I know. It's gonna be ok. So tomorrow I'm taking a break:) 

Day 320. Getting in the mood

   An awesome thing is awesome only if you're in the right mood for it. Otherwise, it's just plain boring. This is why I tend to postpone things that I need or want to read or watch till I'm totally up to it. I might upset one or two people, but that's how I know I'll enjoy them the most. 

   How do you get in the mood for something? Can you always get in the mood when asked to? How about getting in the mood for things like work or study? 

   It's been a while since I'm studying for this summer's exam and lately I'm feeling more and more out of the right mood for it. So the only thing that works for me is finding something to motivate me. Yep. A reward. It all goes down to classical conditioning. I admit, sometimes I give myself the reward before studying (some say it's a biiig mistake) but in the end people are different and we all have our twisted way of getting in the right mood for something. So why not take it easy and know that when we get there we enjoy it fully rather than force ourselves to do something when we don't want to? 

   Take a break. Have a Kit Kat:) Or a piece of cake:)

Day 255. The light at the end of the tunnel

   Today I learned that no matter how difficult the beginnings might be, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel which motivates you to go on. I've learned that it's hard to get yourself going, but once you've started, it won't feel as unpleasant as it did in the beginning. The important thing is to stop procrastinating and get yourself in the "working mood". 

   This morning I started studying for my summer exam. It was hard to get back in the "student mood" but once I got to it, it was actually pleasant:) 

   Also today was day 1 of a personal project my boyfriend and I started to get fit. We decided to jog every evening around a beautiful lake where people like us go. Seeing we're not alone strengthened our motivation to seriously involve in the project. I'm really excited about the outcome!:) 

   The light at the end of my tunnel is shining bright. I can't wait to touch it!:)