365 days project 2. Day 59. Light it up

   Life is a maze, with problems and solutions at every turn. Some people are very ambitious and they never give up even though they walk through the maze a lot and it gets dizzy at some point. Instead of saying this is too hard for them, they just think of strategies and they test them all until they find the one that works. 

   There are days when the process is so tiring and we fail to see that the answer is right in front of us. Other times we need help from others. But what I learned is that problems always have a solution. 

   Even though occasionally the light at the end of the tunnel is off we should remember that we have matches on us and we could light it ourselves. If that doesn't work there's always plan B: give the matches to somebody who knows how to light it. Pretty easy, huh?

The warrior within

Dear diary,

   Each day I'm more and more surprised by my dreams. Especially by the Dana in them. So many things happen to her and she's like Lara Croft, Joan of Arc and Mrs. Smith all in one: a free spirit with a wild heart, so determined, fearless and powerful, always knowing what she has to do. Not that I'm not like that in real life (maybe at a cognitive level), but this woman in my dreams is playing a very complex game and every night she passes to the next level. 

   She's sometimes afraid of things she meets along the way but she never gives up. She keeps on going and going and she never gets tired. She encounters things I see every day, things I saw weeks or months ago or things I thought about, all jumbled up in a never ending maze. And when I wake up each morning I feel overwhelmed by the journey she's been through. 

   Few are the nights when I don't remember dreaming something. My dreams are ones of the most complex I have ever heard of. It's like I'm living a parallel life there. 

   So now I'm curious how other people's dreams look like. I've always been interested in the world of dreams and their meaning. 

Fascinated,

D.

The lessons

   Dear diary,

   I learned that life takes you by surprise. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for what's coming.

   I learned that you never completely know yourself and that you have to be willing to play the beautiful unfolding game life is so you could get to know yourself a little more every day.

   I learned that we take so many things for granted and it's so hard not to once we're used to having them around.

   I learned that it's all an illusion. The mirror of Erised. And it takes a whole while till you figure that out.

   I learned that now is more important than yesterday or tomorrow, that I want to live it all before I pass away. 

   I learned that life gives us gifts of all sorts and shapes and we should always take them. Because they don't come back.

   I learned I needed 25 years to be a woman and I'm still a kid inside. I love that part of myself and I enjoy it every day.

   I learned we're complex beings, beautiful ones, full of amazing features we should use more often. We need to be true to ourselves first and then to the others.

   I learned that it's hard to have no expectations but you can train yourself not to. That life is a game where you have to accept that sometimes you win and other times you lose and know that the game always goes on no matter what... with or without you.

   I learned that life's short, so we should do what we feel like and regret nothing.

Still learning,

D.

The Game

Dear present self,

We’re all born in the middle of a Game. The difficulty level is chosen beforehand but it doesn’t even matter because we all play the same levels.

Whenever you think you’re strong, the Game proves you just how weak you can be. And then you have to play those levels over and over again until you learn the right lessons and you become strong again. But strength doesn’t come alone. You need to keep those lessons tight because you’ll need them again in the next levels.

Some levels are a piece of cake. They seem too easy to be real, and yet they’re awesome. In the end you learn to enjoy them but after a while you get bored and you wonder where the dragon is hiding. You miss fighting the dragon but then, when you actually meet him two stages later you freak out and fail.

Failure is natural. It’s a game after all. The important thing is to learn those lessons and move on wiser, be always prepared for the unexpected and embrace whatever comes with peace. You can go to the next level more easily if you try to solve the previous with a cold mind: “What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? How can you solve it?”

And then, when you least expect, the Game sends you a little clue. Take that clue and use it wisely to pass to the next level. Never give up until you finish the Game. Stay strong and keep playing!

With love,

Yourself

My little Advent game

   4 weeks, 27 days, 7 Advent calendars, 175 individual things. It was all a blast, sometimes a pain in the ass, but nevertheless, the awesomest crafting project I took in.

   Like I previously said, I saw chocolate Advent calendars in shops but never really understood the rules and its purpose. This year I researched it and plunged into not one, but 7 handmade Advent calendars. I made a list of the people I thought would want to take part into this beautiful idea, this little game that makes us feel Christmas for 24 days, before it's even here. Luckily they all accepted to craft and share an Advent calendar. 

   And so the Advent adventure began... this game that brings happiness on people's face, the game that makes you feel loved, appreciated, taken into consideration. The game that makes you feel like a kid again. One that can't wait for tomorrow's task or treat, one that knows how to enjoy the Advent calendar at its best. 

   Stage one after deciding I want to do this was RESEARCH all the possible ideas of crafting such calendars. I found amazing printables that people were so kind to share for free. I found wonderful ideas of tasks that are meant to make you sweep in the Christmas mood all month long:)

   Stage two was ENTHUSIASM. I was sooo thrilled about finding a different Advent calendar idea for each of my recipients and about coming up with special tasks that I knew would make people happy. I could already see their happy face when they would each receive their special Advent calendar carefully made with such love and passion:) I was in the 9th cloud all along the first 2 weeks. Work... craft... work... craft! And I loved it all!

   Stage three was FRUSTRATION. And all this because I had some difficulties in crafting one of the ideas... for my boyfriend! It wouldn't turn out the way I wanted it to be and I would be so frustrated each time I had to work on it. But thank God, it all ended and it was all okay.

   Stage four was FATIGUE. After two weeks and 4 calendars down (including a frustrating one) I began to feel knocked down. I needed to finish all the 7 calendars and 7 handmade Christmas cards by December 1st so my nights became white and my days became sleepy. I had days when I went to sleep at 9 PM and days when I wasn't in the mood for crafting. Even so, every time I looked at the final products a big grin could be seen on my face:)

   Stage five and the last one was PRIDE. Why? Because I did it. It's December 1st and all my calendars are done, the Christmas cards included:) I already gave away 4 of them, 3 more to go:) Can't wait to see my friends smile and can't wait to hear their joyful feedback on each day of the Calendar. 

   All in all, the Advent calendar is such an amazing opportunity for all those Christmas lovers out there! It's the wonderful gesture of thinking about others and involving all your attention in a little, tiny game of love:)

   

It's December already and I can't believe it. Let the Advent adventure truly begin! Let's do tasks and enjoy treats! Let's feel Christmas all around us! <3

P.S. Here are the final results for my 7 Advent calendars (and how my desk looked like for the whole month):

Day 276. My special game

   I will never forget the 6^th grade when our head teacher proposed a game. She told us to close our eyes and focus on all the sounds we heard around us that we usually ignored. Acknowledge their presence and then try to understand where they came from. The point of the game was to realize that we’re never alone and that a lot of things are always happening around us.

   Today I read on my balcony bathing in the sunset light and I played the game again. I heard kids playing with a ball, a baby crying, a parent trying to soothe him, birds chirping, my dad yawning, the wind gently blowing and I realized one thing: Summer is here!

   The past days I've been upset by the constant in and out rain but… It’s June so that’s normal. All natural for the young, rebellious Summer girl who’s sitting on the other green armchair on my balcony. She’s winking at me and playing with her long, blond hair while the sun is caressing her by sending some mild rays on her fragile body. She’s taking a comfortable position and all of a sudden she seems lost, looking in the distance. Just like trying to figure out if she’s here to stay or she should shake the dust again. She smells like poppies and hay, fresh rain and late summer nights by the lake. She’s a girl and a woman altogether. And she knows it. I don’t dare ask her anything being afraid I might ruin her magic moment so I just lounge on my green armchair and I smile with my eyes closed, bathing in the same sun as her. And when I open my eyes she’s already gone. “See you tomorrow evening, Summer. Same place, same hour. Maybe tomorrow we’ll start talking” :) 

Day 227. Promises

  In life there are promises we make to others and promises we make to ourselves. How many times did you promise to be determined and cut the sweets for a while, eat more veggies and exercise? How many times did you really do it? 

   Being a Psychology student I learned to understand that change isn't that easy. That first you have to flirt with the idea, then think about putting it into practice in some months and then really getting to it. Well, today I promised to myself this time I WILL do it. I'll cut the sweets. At first I was brave and said "for a month" but we all know big changes aren't made all of a sudden, so I'm taking it slow: "for a week" should be a good start. My strategy? I hid all the bars I received for my birthday. Not seeing them helps a lot! 

   Let's get this straight. I'm not doing it because I think I'm fat. It's just that lately I've let myself indulge with too much chocolate and I feel I should take a better control of things. Since everybody's talking about how bad sweets really are for our health I'm doing it as an experiment, a game of strength, to see if I can make it. If everything goes well and I do see some changes I'm willing to extend the period. 

   I even monitored drinking 2l of water today. Weeks ago I thought that would be impossible but today I told myself AGAIN: "you can do more than you think you can". And I could indeed! 

   So day 1 went by pretty ok, even though I admit I had moments when I was reaaaally tempted to postpone the beginning of the process. Yet, when I set my mind to something, I do it... so I WILL keep this promise:) 

Therefore, see you in a week;) 

Day 174. What sets us apart

   Today I played a game with kids of different ages and I was fascinated by the result:) 

   We talked about physical differences between kids and people in general. They had to compare every two kids I picked. Then, they had to say something they like about every child that was in front of the class. The cute thing was to watch the little ones say "We like him/her because he/she is beauuuutiful" or "Because he/she picks up the toys after playing with them" at EVERY child they saw in front of them:) Interestingly, a year older kids (middle class ones) generally said: "Because he/she is so cheerful and cute / Because he/she plays with me". What's changing inside their little brain in a year to make them see things differently? And how does this change appear? I'm so interested in how they perceive the world:) I bet their parents and teachers have a lot to say in how they grow up, but I still love their way of seeing things and people. Of course, there were kids who said "because she's ugly" and I had to kindly explain that wasn't a thing "to like" about someone, that we're all beautiful and we all have something beautiful about ourselves. They found it tough to understand, especially when they had to say something nice about the naughtiest boy in class, but they still have time to get there:)

   I thought about how we, adults, perceive the ones around us and the characteristics we like in people. Of course, experience molds us and makes us see things according to our expectations, but it's nice to notice how everything begins and how it develops:) So today I realized grown ups have to be very careful of how they teach the little ones interpret what they see. We're their models and we have to judge less if we want them to grow up beautifully and not make the mistakes we've made:) 

Day 103. A Christmas to remember

   Every year I change the color of my Christmas tree. I like to play this little game and I already know what color  my NEXT year's tree is gonna be. But enough about future.

   I donno about you, but this year I invested in my Christmas tree. I have a brand new one and tons of ornaments and Christmas decorations (a lot of my salary went that way BUT I'm happy about it:D) and today I got to evaluate this year's idea: a Christmas tree in purple and gold:) All I can say after seeing the result is that I'm completely satisfied:) It actually exceeds my expectations! 
  I'm a kid all over again but in the same time I feel like a grown up always reasoning with the help of logic. I do love to decorate the Christmas tree but now it's not only about the magic of doing that, it's also about a competition with myself regarding how it's gonna look like and this involved a LOT of planning:) Maybe all this "being hired" thing has its saying:) 
   So theoretically this year's gonna be my first Christmas as a "grown up" since I started working. And I know for sure it's gonna be a Christmas to remember:)

P.S. Closer look of the tree because I know you wonder;)

Day 56. Guilty angel

   It's been almost a year since it began... the treasure hunt for angels:) I've always loved them for one reason or another, be it because I believe in guardian angels or because of their special appearance and their mystical aura. 

   I've never been too much into collecting stuff though. I only remember collecting callendars but I gave up easily on that one so this decision began like a childlike game of Christmas and it still is one. Each time I find new angel decorations and I enrich my collection I get extatic just like a child... but after purchasing the angels there comes the guilt. Sometimes I think it might not be worth it since it's not a basic need. I'm human. I was raised a certain way. A way that prices the value of food and shelter. Nevertheless, inside myself there's a different part of me who screams at the top of her lungs because she wants attention. I want to listen to her too. So I allow myself to buy some angels from time to time. After a long while, today I bought some and it felt good:) 

   In the end, it's all about balance. After watching a show today and seeing how shopaholic people are, I call myself pretty healthy:) So, let the angel treasure hunt continue:) Out with the guilt:)