365 days project 2. Day 50. Pain

   I'm speechless and in shock. I literally can't speak. I feel like someone hit we very hard and I am out of words even if I want to scream and shout. A(nother) young, talented, amazing girl died. Christina Grimmie was 22 and she was shot at her own concert. I didn't even know the girl and I've never seen her sing or be part of The Voice but this news just hit me so hard, just like any other news about young people dying. In times like this I always ask myself the same questions: WHY do good, young people die while bad, (old) people don't? Why the heck does the Universe allow bad, terrible people to go on with their lives while amazing people are dying at the beginning of an amazing life??? Why??? 

   I'll never understand how life works. I'll never understand what this all means. What are we supposed to learn and why are we here? Why is it all so random and why we can't control things like these?
.... I'm speechless and in shock. Today another amazing girl died...

365 Project 2: Day 2. Womanhood

   It's 8th of March again. Everybody's celebrating the women all around and I'm happy they take time to do that, but is it because they want to or because they are taught they have to? Do women know when they become women? Do they truly acknowledge what being a woman is?
  Today I heard someone ask if the supermarket also had flowers for sale. "No" was the answer followed by "Why not? It's 8th of March, we need flowers". The city was filled with them either way. Just not that supermarket... Somehow it seems to me that like Valentine's day, this day mainly reduces to a humongous mass of flower sellers who want to make as much money as they can and a lot of men who want to please their women and go for "something presentable and hopefully cheap". Because they HAVE to bring flowers home. The other men bring flowers because they know their women would love to receive them but also because they realize what kind of women they have around them and they treasure them every single day not just once a year. They say "Thank you", "I love you!", "Have a wonderful day, sweetheart!", "You are so beautiful!", "I loved your food", "Can I help you cook?" They care. They don't have to give flowers to show their love. Their women just know. And these are the men that help this world go on, the men who help women wake up with a smile on their face... It's so simple to make a woman happy! No, really! You just have to pay attention to what makes her smile and do that more often :) There it is. I told you the secret.
   I searched "woman" in the dictionary. It says it contains "the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women". People think being a woman means being sensitive, gentle, fragile and in need of protection. But they forget the warrior nature that we also have rooted deep within us. How else would we be able to go on through life after so many heartbreaks and lessons learnt one way or another, give birth and raise kids beautifully, take care of the household and still be wonderful women who deserve those flowers on the 8th of March? :)
   Becoming a woman is a gradual process. It's not like going to sleep a teen one day and waking up a woman the next one. It takes time for the seed of womanhood to grow inside and then bloom and have fruits on the outside. But we do know when we become women. It takes some time to acknowledge what that actually means and we're often confused because of all the duties and responsabilities society gives us at certain ages when we "should" be women. Some girls take more time than others. And that's alright. As long as they acknowledge that being a woman doesn't mean you're perfect and always in control. That you're allowed to have fears, to not know what to do next or how to solve a problem alone.
   We're all humans. Men and women. And the 8th of March should be about appreciating the women for both their gentleness and their fierceness. For that "je ne sais quoi" that makes them necessary in men's lives. At least that's why I would give my woman flowers if I were a man. Wouldn't you?

The 3 magical days

   "Every miracle lasts only three days", they say. Some days are longer, others are shorter. But somehow miracles end and then you're all by yourself asking if that was just a dream or if it was reality. 

   You already knew that life is a never ending journey across calm seas and harsh mountains. You know the theory. But since you've been traveling on a calm sea for years, it was always hard for you to imagine that sometime you'd have to climb the Everest. And that's simply because you were used to living a comfortable life. All nice and cozy. 

   Your third magical day is now coming to a close and you can feel it. The wind is starting to blow. The sea is slowly becoming agitated and you're borrowing its state. You're starting to tremble in your summery dress and you close your eyes. Black and white gloomy images come into your mind. You will have to continue your journey up until the peak you'll be terrified about. You know you'll want to come back to the amazingly calm sea and clear water, but you also know you won't be able to. Cos the doors behind you will keep closing and you can only go forward. And then you'll want to stop and just lay down for a while and weep. Weep because you miss these carefree summery days, these times when you were just a girl. 

   When you open your eyes you realize you've aged. You're a grown up woman now. That's what autumn does every year. It takes away the innocence and gives back the same sorrows you had last year. She'll keep doing that till you get at peace with your destiny and you accept it. Ups and downs. Happiness and sadness. Sea and mountain. 

   You look away in the distance and you see the waves coming towards you. But you hold on tight and decide to live every day as it comes and enjoy every bit of happiness that's left until the great sorrow. You know the next 3 days will be mundane, cruel, ironic, anything but magical, but you remember you've been through this before and you prevailed. So you take a deep breath and shout to the waves: "Come what may, I'm ready!"

Day 276. My special game

   I will never forget the 6^th grade when our head teacher proposed a game. She told us to close our eyes and focus on all the sounds we heard around us that we usually ignored. Acknowledge their presence and then try to understand where they came from. The point of the game was to realize that we’re never alone and that a lot of things are always happening around us.

   Today I read on my balcony bathing in the sunset light and I played the game again. I heard kids playing with a ball, a baby crying, a parent trying to soothe him, birds chirping, my dad yawning, the wind gently blowing and I realized one thing: Summer is here!

   The past days I've been upset by the constant in and out rain but… It’s June so that’s normal. All natural for the young, rebellious Summer girl who’s sitting on the other green armchair on my balcony. She’s winking at me and playing with her long, blond hair while the sun is caressing her by sending some mild rays on her fragile body. She’s taking a comfortable position and all of a sudden she seems lost, looking in the distance. Just like trying to figure out if she’s here to stay or she should shake the dust again. She smells like poppies and hay, fresh rain and late summer nights by the lake. She’s a girl and a woman altogether. And she knows it. I don’t dare ask her anything being afraid I might ruin her magic moment so I just lounge on my green armchair and I smile with my eyes closed, bathing in the same sun as her. And when I open my eyes she’s already gone. “See you tomorrow evening, Summer. Same place, same hour. Maybe tomorrow we’ll start talking” :) 

Day 183. Like a woman

   Today, for the first time in my life I really felt like a woman. I was no longer a teenager or a student daydreaming about the perfect job. It was the first time really celebrating myself and not just my mother:)

   Working changes people, even though not completely. It can lead you through restless seas and it can even drive you nuts when you see you work for a month and your whole salary goes to paying taxes, invoices and things like those. But in the end you're satisfied that last month you had the money to buy yourself something that will last for a decade:) So it's all worth it.

   Even though feeling like a woman makes you feel powerful, sometimes being one is like being a girl in disguise:) The age and the fact you're working or maybe just wearing a special dress can tell them things are different now. In fact, we're all still in need of affection and protection. That's why we like flowers, guys. Because we bond with them. They're just like us, fragile and beautiful and needing to being taken care of:) You'll never understand this, but I wish you'd just go on trusting our instincts and still bring us flowers every 8th of March:) Because that's how we know you're trying to bond with us too, and what can be cuter than some puppy eyes asking you "Did I buy the right flowers?":)

Day 152. The lessons of a father

   Work's all right and my days pass looking very similar one to another but the things, people or messages I meet every day make my days special. 

   Today I read a girl's blog post about how she was brought up and the teachings her dad gave her along the childhood years. I was particularly impressed by the wisdom of that father who, of all things, taught his daughter the importance of being kind to the others, treat them the best and not judge people by their appearance but by their "inside". He also said that things have a life of their own and they are meant to break at some point so we shouldn't weep for the broken but accept the fact and replace them with new ones and that, in the end, people are more valuable than things. I wish I will be just as wise when I will be a mother:)

Take a look at the exact words of this amazing father:

"Porcelain dishes aren't important, people are. So, you should serve breakfast, lunch or dinner in porcelain dishes to anybody who enters your home no matter his social class or ethnicity." 

"Never take the last piece of cake from a plate. Maybe somebody didn't have the chance to take any or maybe someone else needs it more than you do." 

 "When you have two apples, give away the biggest and most beautiful of the two. And if other time you receive the small apple, don't complain. Don't have high expectations and don't be greedy."

"Give thanks for every bit of food you receive from somebody. The person who cooked that food has given you a part of her life."

"Don't judge people for their ethnicity for they are not guilty they were born this way. Don't reject people, even if the others reject them. Try to know a person first before saying that he's ugly, stupid or bad."

"Things have their own life. They all have to be replaced at some point."

"Speak to people like you'd be speaking to yourself."

"Gifts aren't meant to be an exchange. You don't have to give back the exact value of the gift you have received."

"You shouldn't choose people to be your friends by their clothes. You should choose them with your eyes closed so you couldn't see their beauty or the things they possess. Don't be ashamed to have a friend who's different." 

 You can find the whole post in Romanian, here: http://www.irinab.com/p/copilarii.html 

   Read it!:) It will change your life and make you appreciate your parents more... And we all need that:)

Day 34. They call me the wild berry

   I've always been intrigued by the wild fruits in the trees be it wild apples or wild berries, haven't you? It's interesting how they look so much like the ones we eat but are still untouchable. I wonder what they taste like, all these wild wild fruits (don't worry, I won't try though, I don't want to end up in the hospital:P). 

   Yesterday I happened to pass by such a tree and I couldn't help myself not taking a photo. That RED, now that's the RED girls want in their lipstick. I could imagine a whole photo session with the appropriate model among those berries... oh, the dreams that are left un... attended:)

 

Day 26. She's a lady

   Just like I said, I wore a skirt today. And I looked fancy:) But I think it's not only the skirt that makes a woman look lady like, it's the proper shoes and, very important, the earrings!:) Girls know what I mean. So, we do have a reason to collect/buy as many earrings as possible because there are so many occasions to wear them on! Am I right or am I right?