365 days project 2: Day 13. Right here, right now

   Close your eyes. Listen. Feel. Can you hear the birds chirping? Can you feel the sun on your skin? Everything's happening Right Now. Spring is in full bloom. Look around. What's new compared to last week? When was the last time you paid attention to what was happening to you Right Then?

   Today I remembered some experiences happen just once in a lifetime and I want to fully live them. This is the place (picture) where I'll celebrate my wedding in less than 2 months: Wonderland. 

   Today we tasted some food for the big event. Many other people tasted the same food in the same time as we did. How many of them did it automatically because it had to be done and how many of them lived the experience to the fullest? No one knows. But once I got outside of the venue and I looked around I saw THIS: beautiful and elegant, ready to receive brides and grooms and their families celebrating their big day. 

   I'm so excited! We're one step closer to the wedding. I hope it'll be sunny. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Until then I want to live in the NOW and enjoy this feeling for 2 more months :) It'll never come back. 

The lessons

   Dear diary,

   I learned that life takes you by surprise. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for what's coming.

   I learned that you never completely know yourself and that you have to be willing to play the beautiful unfolding game life is so you could get to know yourself a little more every day.

   I learned that we take so many things for granted and it's so hard not to once we're used to having them around.

   I learned that it's all an illusion. The mirror of Erised. And it takes a whole while till you figure that out.

   I learned that now is more important than yesterday or tomorrow, that I want to live it all before I pass away. 

   I learned that life gives us gifts of all sorts and shapes and we should always take them. Because they don't come back.

   I learned I needed 25 years to be a woman and I'm still a kid inside. I love that part of myself and I enjoy it every day.

   I learned we're complex beings, beautiful ones, full of amazing features we should use more often. We need to be true to ourselves first and then to the others.

   I learned that it's hard to have no expectations but you can train yourself not to. That life is a game where you have to accept that sometimes you win and other times you lose and know that the game always goes on no matter what... with or without you.

   I learned that life's short, so we should do what we feel like and regret nothing.

Still learning,

D.

Dreamers

   Dear diary,

      Will we ever learn? Or will we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? 

   Will we ever choose the important over the urgent? The need over the want? Tomorrow over now? Will we choose right? 

   I'm back to square one because I chose now over tomorrow (again). And things might get out of control. But I'm telling myself they don't have to go exactly how I planned them. That I can always change, twist and bend to make it okay in the end and that my friends and family can help when everything else fails. Yep. I should remember that. I donno why they keep teaching us to succeed by ourselves. We're never alone, like they say. Not when we're born, nor when we die. 

   In the end, I guess we're dreamers who enjoy breaking the rules. Ones who know tomorrow might never come. Isn't life short anyhow? So why not take advantage of it while we still can? Why not make mistakes and challenge ourselves to fix them afterwards?:) It can be a useful process. 

With love,

The one who thinks she has everything under control 

and is always mistaken

P.S. I decided to stop making a schedule about when to write. I'll try to make it once a week, but nothing's final. I want my memories to be powerful, not just any random thing that happens. So, I guess you understand.

Day 291. To be or not to be afraid

   From time to time we want something really bad but we're afraid to go get it because something might intervene and the odds might not be in our favor. So we back off and wait for the proper time to make our move and finally get where we want. But when will that day come if we keep postponing it?:) 

   It was a moody day today but my family and I chose to defy it. We went for a picnic even if we knew there was a high chance it would rain. It was already noon and that's a late hour for a picnic, but we left knowing that we wanted to have a good time in nature and so we did. We found our spot and spent some relaxing hours without even a single drop of rain. I even found some amazing photographic material:) 

   So, I'm asking you now: Would my day had been better if we had chosen to fear the rain and stay at home? 

   Whenever you want something, the right time to go get it is NOW!:)

Day 102. As the angels sang

   Today I went to see my boyfriend sing in a beautiful Christmas concert performed by the choire he's attending. It's already a tradition for me but the concert doesn't cease to amaze me every year! I almost burst into tears while I was listening to it. They sounded THAT good and they're not even professional singers. 

   At some point while I was listening to the beautiful songs my thoughts slipped to other contexts of my life. And then I remembered... Weeks ago a fellow psychologist told us: "That's our problem. We're not THERE when we should be. We often think about something else: problems that need to be solved, future plans, past experiences. Our mind is in the wrong spot. So let's be here and focus only on what we're doing NOW." And so I did. I went back to enjoying the concert and in the end I left at peace with myself. It was truly an evening well spent:)

Note to self: Be there with your mind too not only with your body!