365 days project 2. Day 61. People are books

   They say “never judge a book by its cover”. Heeding that advice, we take the time to open it, read it, spend time in it, with its characters and its story, and more often than not, we are pleasantly surprised. However, a lot of times, we forget to apply the same rule to people. We judge them according to how they look, especially when we have no idea who they are. Why do we let ourselves label strangers without taking the time to know them, to listen to their stories and adventures?
   People are like books. A tattered old book can show you a world of wonders. So can a man in poor clothes, with tired eyes and downcast expression. All we need is to open the book and read. All we need is to open our hearts and listen to the human soul.
   We are all books - some open, some shut, but we all have a story written on our pages. Some stories are longer than others. Some are psychological monologues, others are children books or adventure books, and yet some others are dramatic, full of pain, sorrow and a sad ending. 

   What's your book about? Is it a happy book or a sad book? You're the author and you can write your own destiny. The past can't be unwritten but the future holds a million posibilities.

Holy(day)

Dear diary,

   Exams finally passed and after 2 months of studying and losing contact to all people around me, everything's back on track: I took the exam I was worried about and I'm still waiting for the results on the other one, but I have a good feeling. 

   So guess what: I'm gonna work in the same kindergarten one more yeaaaar! I'm so happy! I love seeing the kids grow and evolve alongside with me and I can't wait to read them the books I bought for them from Vatra Dornei! 

   Life's good. Really good. And I feel so blessed for having everything I want and need. So many things have changed for the better:) Life's exciting and full of new things! 

   So now I'm gonna catch up with my friends, go out for photos, read wonderful books, watch my TV shows and enjoy the awesome things summer has still prepared for me! It's finally a holiday!

In love with life,

D.

Bits of stolen soul

Dear diary,

   The other day I discovered that, just like Augustus in "The fault in our stars", I'm an insatiable soul. I'm never satisfied with an answer, I always want to know more and analyse everything. So even when I'm laying in bed with my eyes closed before falling asleep, I think about something. I analyse, I try to understand. I'm also never satisfied with just reading one book by an author I love. Actually, when I fall in love with a writer, I'm the worst "girlfriend" ever. I suffocate him with my attention buying all his books that saw the light of paper and then I get lost in his universe until I finish the last book written. I love underlining my favorite quotes and transfering them in my life. I identify with his characters and I forget who I am. I let him steal a bit of my soul and I never look back. 

   I realized I developed a deep, complex and consuming relationship with my favorite books. Not in the sense of feeling the urgent need to read them over and over again. (I don't remember if I ever read a book twice.) No. It's consuming in the sense that my life feels empty whenever the book ends. I find myself missing the characters and wondering how their life might be, just like Hazel (the other character in "The fault in our stars") did after reading "An imperial affliction". She made me remember life is damn short and we'd better live it. She inspired me in thinking that maybe when we're born we each receive an hourglass. Some are huge, others are tiny. An anonymous pre-ordered hourglass. And when the sand is finished, we end our beautiful journey. Just like that. Without further explanation. 

   Augustus feared oblivion. I fear the exact same thing, but then my friends said that the smallest gesture we do towards somebody might change his life and so he'll change somebody else's remembering how I changed his. So maybe, just maybe, we do matter. Even when we're stardust, we still matter. And that's the most comforting thing ever. But until I get there, until my dust finishes, I wanna go out there and continue what I started. Keep falling in love with beautiful writers and spread bits of my soul to the ones who earned it. Because, oh, how good does that feel!

Forever in love,

D.

   

   

Life within books

   Dear diary,

   Life within the books I read usually seems so simple, so easy to understand and follow. Characters are confused and they feel down, but we already know the solution. When they are making a mistake we shout at them telling them what to do but they can't hear us.

   Thing is, books make us omniscient gods who know it all. Rather than that, real life is full of blanks we need to fill in like in those scary English classes. Who knew I'd end up loving filling in those blanks for others? Maybe one day I'll end up loving filling in my own. 

   Books help. They truly do. It's free therapy every time I feel bored, down or lonely. But they won't solve my puzzles. I have to. And 2014 is the biggest of them all. I decided to let the dice roll, let life unfold itself and go with the flow. 

   I'll keep on reading this year's book and underline my favorite quotes. Sure, there will be passages that will make me cry, there always are, but I already know there's going to be a kick ass ending... cos I  love fairytales and this is MY own book I'm reading!

Forever a reader,

D.

My December

   Dear diary,

   My December's been crazy so far: Advent calendars to open, tasks to accomplish, work in the kindergarten, prepare for an exam and a long trip to Bucharest. I felt taken away in a fast carousel that I could barely keep up with. I had moments (still do) when I wished I could have paused time so that I could have enjoyed every day left till Christmas because each year I get the feeling that time passes too fast in December. 

    So I went to Bucharest:) It's been a trip that came at the perfect moment cos I've never seen it in December. Never seen its lights, its fairs, its gifts and treasures. And you know how much I love Christmas and traveling.

   At first I had to solve the exam thingie. So I took my friend and tried to find an address in a huge city I didn't know. What did I do? I asked around. Cos Google maps drops my phone battery like crazy. The exam experience was way better than I anticipated. Those people really liked what I was telling them. They were smiling and enjoying it and we had such a pleasant conversation. You know how oral exams are. You go out and people ask you: "How was it?" and then you say "Okay, I guess." I told them "It was GREAT!" while grinning. How many people do that?

   Then, after checking the Must Do thing in the big city, there came visiting my dear friends and a planned journey to see the Christmas lights. But somewhere among all those I got time to observe and think. Bucharest seems to have a completely different culture than Cluj. They have a funny accent, they react and behave differently, they are... a different species. And as much as I loved riding the subway it was sooo weird to get confused every time I had to change it. No worries, Bucharest people looked just as confused. How weird is that? So I decided. I wouldn't move to the capital even if I got a big, fat salary. I love my dear city. It's easy, comfy and it has everything I need in it. Including family, friends, boyfriend, dream job and everything else. 

   On the other hand, Bucharest had awesome things as well: wonderful friends, amazing Christmas lights, yummy fairs and a lot of experiences waiting to be lived. I bought the cheapest books, the cutest decorations and I received the best Advent calendar! Not to mention the happy tears of listening to a friend playing the piano on notes of Debussy or singing Adele. 

   It was a perfect experience: the sound of the train, scary people, cute people, warm people, helpful people, crowds everywhere, lights, lights, lights, mulled wine, comfy dizziness, Advent, happy tears, life stories on the train. It was my December or at least the first half of it:) 

I want you to know

   On this sunny October day I want you to know that life is never perfect, but it's always beautiful.

   That it goes on no matter how hard the journey might seem. You'll need your friends to ease that up, but you can make it.

    That you always have options. Even when you think you don't.

   That people don't change, their needs do. And sometimes there's nothing you can do to make them happy anymore. But that only means your job there is done and you have to go somewhere else and make other people happy.

   That when you're sure something will happen, life takes you by surprise and you have to move on with it... or you'll be left behind. 

   That things never last for a lifetime but they can be fixed. Or replaced.

   That people want you to listen and you want them to listen as well. Do that by taking turns or you'll end up in a mess you created yourself.

   That great effort is always rewarded. If not by others at least by yourself. You'll feel awesome!

   That you'll want your days to be longer but they'll always seem too short. Pick whatever will help you say "What an awesome day!" when you go to sleep.

   That you won't understand everything that happens to you. But you don't have to. Accept everything that comes in your life. There will be times when you'll be frustrated, but remember, there's a lesson for you at every corner.

    That you can always find a reason to be grateful. You just have to close your eyes and think.

   That there are hundreds or thousands of books written exactly for you that are waiting to be discovered. Look for them and they'll reveal themselves to you.

   That lost time doesn't come back so think about leaving something behind. Memories, photos, diaries. Record your life somewhere. You'll be thankful to rediscover it in some years.

   That money don't bring happiness. It's all in your head. You can craft or recycle instead of buying. Just use your imagination.

   That people need to be reminded how important they are to you. So let them know. 

   That if you want something, want it badly and it will come true. Be careful what you wish for, though. 

   That fear, guilt and anger will only bring bad consequences. Be at peace with yourself and with others. 

    That life is worth being explored, enjoyed, lived to the fullest. So do it! Do it now!:)

Day 328. Fairytales

   Friends are like books. They open our eyes to a world were no matter what happens, the ending is always happy. They help us find ourselves and they're always so entertaining to be around. We daydream with them and when we're down they bring us up and sometimes we're down together because we feel exactly what they feel and sharing the pain is always easier when there's two. They are the stories that we don't want to end. 

   We meet some of them when we're kids and our friendship goes on forever even if we change in time. Others are first our classmates, the only ones we'll keep in touch with even after school ends, the ones we'll invite to our wedding and the same ones we'll walk our babies with. And then there are the friends who step in our world later, when we least expect. The kind of friends who remind us that being ourselves is awesome because they are just like us. The kind of friends you don't see every day but when you do meet time stops for you and happiness is all around. The friends that remind us that

   I wuv you, Laura! You showed me that being lovey dovey and overly hugging is Ok. You reminded me that love can save the day so that's why I keep spreading it ^^ Thank You, cupcake! <3 I'm so glad I met you!

Day 217. Philos

   There are books that catch your soul. Books that make you believe they were written exactly for you. They help you find yourself but they also take a part of you when you have to return them to the library. That's when you realize you wished you owned them because you had the feeling you were the first one who ran their fingertips on their pages, catching their very essence. 

    Then you want to forget they took a part of you and you try to replace them with new ones. Some will be boring, some will be close but not there and some will take another piece of you. Because that's what good books do to you. You put a piece of yourself inside when you're reading them and they take it with them when they are returned. That's why we buy books. To keep those pieces of our soul. But what if you can't find them in any bookshops in town? You just borrow some more books and you lend some more pieces of yourself. And you do it willingly because you can't help it. 

   Today "Beautiful creatures" took a piece of my soul. It's bittersweet. When I returned it I felt like a dear friend had moved to a different city. Longing. I felt longing. To hold it in my hands again, to smile while reading it, to learn new things, to find myself in it just like looking in a mirror. "Beautiful creatures" was written for me. That's for sure. And losing a piece of myself isn't making me feel more vulnerable, it's making me feel I am not alone. There is someone out there who writes exactly for me and that feels awesome:)