Day 274. The wrong people

   Sometimes we give things to the wrong people and it all turns out to be a mess. Because they don't appreciate them and our efforts are in vain. And then we suffer.

   I'm not talking about friends. Friends know how to take things, they know the message beyond the gesture, I'm talking about newbies. People you barely know and you want to bond with. People you grow to care about. 
   Maybe that's our mistake. We don't analyse people before we give. Be it trust, a gift or a secret. 

   So open your eyes and think ahead. It's that simple.

   

Day 273. Who am I?

   Is it possible to rediscover yourself in the middle of your life? To accidentally find something that's been there all the time but you haven't noticed? ... Hmm? Is that possible? 

   How come I haven't seen it until now? Oh, I know. I've been buried between rules, regulations and laws of all sorts. I've been blinded by the need of obeying them all. I don't know anybody who's as literal as I am when it comes to doing that. And I just realized I might have had something to lose. I might have just denied the real ME in all this situation. 

   I've always been the one THEY wanted me to be but I've never been too brave to admit that I might have been different. I was always the good girl who never wanted to stand out. The one everyone mocked and everyone tried to avoid. So where did that lead me? 

   Today I rediscovered lost bits and pieces of me. It's not something totally different than I am now since this is my personality and the temperament I was born with, but I discovered I have the ability to speak up my mind, and make myself heard. And I don't know why I haven't used that piece of information until now. I guess that's what limiting yourself means. And that's even worse than the limits they set for you:) 

   Oh well, better late than never. There's still time to accept this new part of me:) And I have a feeling it might come in handy sometime:)

Day 272. The perks of being brave

   Today I went the extra mile. I got out of my comfort zone and I jumped into a whole new type of experiences for photography. Today I was brave.

   I've seen a terribly beautiful house all covered in roses somewhere near where I live and I decided to go take some shots of it. After a lot of planning I got there and I struggled to mingle my camera through the fence and I actually succeeded to take a photo when I saw a man. I freaked out and I quickly went away. I wanted to leave with just that one photo I had. But my photographer instinct told me I needed more than just one photo to own a piece of art of that house that deserved to be praised. So I went back and I decided to ask the owner if I may enter the yard and take a proper photo. 

   He was an elder in his 80s dressed as a gardener. His face was kind and his voice was mild. He said photography and roses were also his passions so not only did he let me take as many photos as I wished but he also explained to me how he tended the beautiful roses covering the old house and he even invited me to follow him behind it.

    I followed him and then my eyes saw more than I could take. A huge garden full of all sorts of roses. All types, all colors, all shapes. And not only roses but also cacti and lily pads and ferns and trees of all kinds. I literaly felt like stepping into a Botanical Garden. And it was even more than that. It was a piece of heaven that made me go from surprise to ecstasy, from smiling to being in awe and saying "wow" every 2 minutes. 

   We took a long walk in the beautiful garden while the old man gently presented to me the types of roses (he had more than 40 types) and let me take photos to anything my heart desired. He even said "Here are some roses you haven't seen, enjoy yourself":) After a while we bonded so well that I felt like walking with my grandpa. I felt so much peace, happiness and amazement. I felt it all at once. 

   When I wanted to leave I took my bag and I saw a red rose inside of it. The old man gave me one of his beloved children. I guess he noticed we bonded too. Because when I left, we were both smiling like we had known each other for ages and this was just another visit I used to pay to him. 

   One thing though. He asked me not to share the photos of his house and garden on the internet so be my guests and imagine them as you please, but make sure you make them top perfection. Because that's how I felt today:)

   What a day!:) And how different might the things have been if only I didn't turn around. 

Day 271. Upside down

   It's been almost 3 weeks since my life is upside down. And the funny part is that I love it!

   I've said it before, I'm saying it now too: When you start working, your whole life changes. You marry your workplace and you start living together. At first everything seems very exciting and you're curious to discover how this or that works, but after some months everything becomes a routine. You just go to work and then you just come home. Many times you won't even have time to do something else during the day. So in the end, even if you like what you do, you get frustrated. And bored. Just like being in a very long lasting relationship that you drag with you only because you're afraid of being single. When this occurs, you need "a thrill". Something to make you feel alive again, like a teenager, like a student you used to be only a year ago. Something to keep you forever young. 

   I discovered this is one of my biggest issues. I am only 25 but I am already afraid of aging. I can't imagine myself at the age of 30, 35 or 40. It feels so scary only thinking about it: being surrounded by lots of youngsters who have some growing up to do and then you, standing still and knowing you can't transform anymore... the only difference being that you're getting uglier and less healthy. But I know this is not a good way of thinking and I remember what a wise teacher once told us: "Your purpose in life should be to age beautifully. Only that way you get to be wise at the end of your life." 

   So I am dismissing the bad thoughts and I am focusing on accepting my age and the experience and benefits that come with it. And since I found the "thrill" that turned my life upside down, I'm enjoying it every single day. My days are now brighter and happier. Only now did I realize how much I needed it. How much I needed feeling young again and how awesome the feeling really is:)

Day 270. Giving and receiving

   Sometimes things turn out to be better than we expect and we receive much more than we think we deserve. And all that because karma works her deal all the way. What you give is what you shall receive:)

   Today I read a quote saying "We are not blessed so we can have, we are blessed so we can give." And I love giving! So I organized some cute, unexpected ways to surprise a friend on her birthday:) What I loved most was seeing her sincere reactions of happiness while she was expecting this to be just another regular birthday:) It's interesting to think that I was the one surprised at some point in the past and now, by doing this, I paid it forward. It surely feels good to be able to do it.

   In the end, there's more happiness in giving than receiving:) At least in my case. Making people happy is one of my purposes in life. Today, mission accomplished:)

Day 269. How it grows

   Today I was fascinated by some hot peppers my dad is growing. They were once sooo little and you could barely see a little green leaf and now they're growing strong and healthy. 

   Friendships are just like growing a plant. At first you need to be really careful. Maybe you'd say that's not necessary. That friendships are exactly the place to be yourself because friends accept you for who you are. Yeah, you're right, but until getting there you have to see if you and your friend match. If you have the same interests, values, goals. If it's going to be a friendship for a day, a week, a month or a lifetime:) And it's not even enough if you like your friend. He/She has to like you back. You have to be accepted. Friendships sound rather complicated now, don't they?

   Taking friendships from the beginning isn't something you usually do at my age. And yet I'm doing it. Because it's so fascinating and awesome that I can't help myself. So here I am going through the nervousness of a teenager who wants to be accepted and liked for who he truly is. Will I succeed? We shall see:)

Day 268. Music saves the day

   What can you do when there's just another rainy weekend and you have to study even if you don't want to? Let's see something that can get you in the right mood:

1. Find an awesome song and put it on repeat. 

2. Or make a playlist and enjoy it during the day. 

3. Dance like crazy in your room. Let it all out, set yourself free! Don't be afraid to boogie in your own style.

4. Sing till you realize you love your voice even if you've always been too ashamed to sing out loud. 

Today music saved my day!:) And boy, am I thankful for it:)

P.S. Happy children's day, by the way!:)