Not a girl, not yet a woman

   School has officially started and I find myself caught in the middle of an emotional carousel: longing, melancholy, nostalgia all slowly mixed together in a tiny jar. 

   I go to work every morning and I see kids and teens going to school and I remember: I miss being in high school, being a student:) And this is when that universal saying comes true. When you're a kid all you want is to grow up already and by the time you're a grown up you just wanna go running back to childhood... or adolescence, as awkward as that might sound. 

   Yeah, sure, teenage period was kinda weird and difficult to handle because you want so many things but your hands are tied while you have no idea who you are and what you're actually looking for:) But man, that journey of discovering the world and myself was awesome! Having more friendships that I could handle, discovering photography and writing, learning that I love psychology. It all happened back then. And this is just the tip of the iceberg:) 

   I miss those times and as much as I know that every stage of life should be enjoyed for its particular benefits, I can't help myself, really:) I just see them so sleepy and confused, chatting out loud with their friends, taking life NOT seriously and it makes me smile:) I was once like them. And now I'm here. Who would have thought?:) 

   I used to love this expression while I was a teen: "not a girl, not yet a woman". Well, a woman sometimes misses being in between:) Because life isn't as metaphorical and full of sense as we think it is. Many times it's just random. And we give it meaning by finding role models around us. People who inspire us, who, through their stories, help us understand that even if random, life is worth living and that longing is a natural feeling. (I love you, Kirsty Mitchell! Thank you for showing me that!) 

   So I'll miss school some more days and then I'll go back to playing with the kids:) Because adult life is just as awesome for me:) I'm that lucky!

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* Kirsty Mitchell is one of my favorite photographers. She puts life in a box and takes amazing photos of it while playing with the toys inside:) I can only aspire to resemble her sometime:)

Day 272. The perks of being brave

   Today I went the extra mile. I got out of my comfort zone and I jumped into a whole new type of experiences for photography. Today I was brave.

   I've seen a terribly beautiful house all covered in roses somewhere near where I live and I decided to go take some shots of it. After a lot of planning I got there and I struggled to mingle my camera through the fence and I actually succeeded to take a photo when I saw a man. I freaked out and I quickly went away. I wanted to leave with just that one photo I had. But my photographer instinct told me I needed more than just one photo to own a piece of art of that house that deserved to be praised. So I went back and I decided to ask the owner if I may enter the yard and take a proper photo. 

   He was an elder in his 80s dressed as a gardener. His face was kind and his voice was mild. He said photography and roses were also his passions so not only did he let me take as many photos as I wished but he also explained to me how he tended the beautiful roses covering the old house and he even invited me to follow him behind it.

    I followed him and then my eyes saw more than I could take. A huge garden full of all sorts of roses. All types, all colors, all shapes. And not only roses but also cacti and lily pads and ferns and trees of all kinds. I literaly felt like stepping into a Botanical Garden. And it was even more than that. It was a piece of heaven that made me go from surprise to ecstasy, from smiling to being in awe and saying "wow" every 2 minutes. 

   We took a long walk in the beautiful garden while the old man gently presented to me the types of roses (he had more than 40 types) and let me take photos to anything my heart desired. He even said "Here are some roses you haven't seen, enjoy yourself":) After a while we bonded so well that I felt like walking with my grandpa. I felt so much peace, happiness and amazement. I felt it all at once. 

   When I wanted to leave I took my bag and I saw a red rose inside of it. The old man gave me one of his beloved children. I guess he noticed we bonded too. Because when I left, we were both smiling like we had known each other for ages and this was just another visit I used to pay to him. 

   One thing though. He asked me not to share the photos of his house and garden on the internet so be my guests and imagine them as you please, but make sure you make them top perfection. Because that's how I felt today:)

   What a day!:) And how different might the things have been if only I didn't turn around. 

Day 147. Can you feel it?

   Today one of the four sisters, Spring, revealed to me some of her blessings. She sent the sun to shine the whole day on a clear sky, birds to sing in the trees and snow to melt here and there:) It was beauuutiful:) Laying in the sun warmed you up and if you closed your eyes you could have sworn it was spring already. 

   Today I was told that I'm silly for taking photos to everything around me and not just to new cities I'm visiting and that photographers in general are rather nuts:P I can't but disagree and call myself a mere dreamer who seeks reasons of happiness everywhere around me. Wouldn't you if you wanted to be happy? Would you rather wait for the big things in your life to let yourself smile? I know I wouldn't:)