365 project 2: Day 7. Farewell

   Today my phone's camera died. Just like that. All of a sudden and without any hope of revival. I never knew I had been so connected to my cellphone until I started feeling physical pain in my stomach at the thought of having lost my ability to take photos. You might not get this. I take photos every day. To things that are inspiring or interesting and I want to remember. No, I'm not addicted to my phone, I'm not obsessed or crazy if I don't hold it in my hand 24/7. It's just that, as an artist, that camera was like an extra limb. But even though, my reaction was definitely unexpected. I literally felt sick until I realized that no matter what I do I can't save my phone and I need a new one. Did this ever happen to you? It's weird, isn't it? 

   Years back we didn't even have a cellphone. I had my first one in 11th grade. That would make me around 17 years old. I never cared how my phone looked like or how "intelligent" it was, I just needed to be able to call people here and there. Until I discovered the world of photography and phone cameras became better and better. You'd say taking photos with your phone is such a poor choice of "an artist". I'll correct you. Sometimes my phone took better photos than my camera. So I started appreciating it more, using it more for my random snaps and for other memories. 

   I have a feeling I'm not the only one really connected to their phone. Maybe you like certain apps, some like to play their usual games, others use it to connect to their friends. Either way, one thing's for sure: in 2016 we're way more connected to our phones than we used to be. Is it bad? Is it good? Who can be the judge of that? 

   After 3 years of friendship I'll say... Farewell, dear friend! You were really appreciated! 

365 project 2: Day 6. Mission accomplished

   

   Every now and then I love trying out a new recipe. I buy everything I need, I do a lot of research online to make sure I am ready for what comes and then I start working. Of course that most of the times something happens and I have to redo part of the recipe or adjust it. Today wasn't an exception. I'd more likely call it an adventure! Most people would bake the simplest version of a new recipe and see how it goes. I take a dive and decide to do 3 different types of fillings. At the end of the day, after accomplishing the trials just like in fairytales, the result is pretty outstanding. And this is what makes me go on.

   We might meet obstacles very often in our life, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Let the obstacles teach you the lesson you need in order to grow. Never give up, never surrender, you can do way more than you think you can! Sure, you'll get frustrated in the meantime, but learn to be patient because everything's going to be worth it when you achieve your dream. Today I achieved mine! :)

365 project 2: Day 5. Take a peek

   Today wasn't an easy day at work. I spent some time in a class that seen from the outside might seem like your average, Romanian kindergarten class. Until hell unleashed. Some kids were crying, others were fighting and others were running everywhere... all in the same time. I have no idea how the teacher could handle this class until today. She seemed defeated too. 

   I won't complain about the system again. We all know it's faulty. For me it wasn't as hard as it was for her, because I only visit her class once a week. I know her problematic kids, but the complicated thing is that they're all put together in the same class with only one teacher to oversee them, a teacher that will slowly go mad if something doesn't change... and how could it change if the parents see the teacher for 2 minutes a day; one minute... when she's smiling in the morning while greeting the kids and the other one at noon when she waves them goodbye. 

   Parents expect us to raise their kids while they have no idea what's going on at school because they don't ask questions other than "did he eat?". Is that the most important thing in a child's life?

   Why do people have kids if they don't WANT kids? Why does society pressure us into getting married and having a child if we're not going to be THERE for him and teach him how to fly? Why do we expect the teachers to do our job? ... I might change my view in some years when I'll have my own kids, but showing interest and asking the teachers details about how you can help your kid be better every day can make everybody's life so much easier... 

   If the parents would take a peek, just a little one, inside the everyday life of that teacher, I bet they would change their behavior. I hope that one day they will. Then they will realize she deserves so much more than a flower on the 8th of March.

365 project 2: Day 4. To love or not to love

 

   Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? 

   I would choose the first one. As much as it hurts. It was sad to hear today someone telling me that they have never loved anyone, have never been in love, nor are they looking to fall in love at all. I happen to know this person fairly well and I can tell, as a friend and as a psychologist, that something is missing in their life. And even if they don't want to acknowledge the need of love, they are looking for it in every person they meet. So then... why fear being hurt? We have ONE life, ONE chance to live it fully, fall in love... repeatedly until we find the ONE... the one who's going to fit in perfectly in our puzzle, the one who's going to make us smile every time we see their face because we love them immensely, so much that words can not explain. 

   Why lose this thrilling feeling by denying ourrselves the miracle of love?

365 project 2: Day 3. Changing the world

   Today I thought about change. I talked about it so many times before. I thought about it just as many times late at night in bed or randomly during the day in my office or on a bench outside. Change doesn't happen suddenly, just like I said yesterday. We need time and determination. Motivation to change.

   We influence one another every single day. Do we need to change ourselves for the world? I think we do. At least when we realize something is going wrong, when something WE are doing has bad consequences, it hurts people and it prevents them from being happy around us... as lovers, parents, siblings or friends. 

   We all have light and darkness inside of us and we can choose. Do we let the Hulk get out and ruin our friendships and our relationships or do we keep it under control and we start working on ourselves FIRST and then expect people to change instead of the other way around. Change must come from within.

                Think about it. What would you change about yourself in order to change the world?

*Painting made by my best friend, Julia

365 Project 2: Day 2. Womanhood

   It's 8th of March again. Everybody's celebrating the women all around and I'm happy they take time to do that, but is it because they want to or because they are taught they have to? Do women know when they become women? Do they truly acknowledge what being a woman is?
  Today I heard someone ask if the supermarket also had flowers for sale. "No" was the answer followed by "Why not? It's 8th of March, we need flowers". The city was filled with them either way. Just not that supermarket... Somehow it seems to me that like Valentine's day, this day mainly reduces to a humongous mass of flower sellers who want to make as much money as they can and a lot of men who want to please their women and go for "something presentable and hopefully cheap". Because they HAVE to bring flowers home. The other men bring flowers because they know their women would love to receive them but also because they realize what kind of women they have around them and they treasure them every single day not just once a year. They say "Thank you", "I love you!", "Have a wonderful day, sweetheart!", "You are so beautiful!", "I loved your food", "Can I help you cook?" They care. They don't have to give flowers to show their love. Their women just know. And these are the men that help this world go on, the men who help women wake up with a smile on their face... It's so simple to make a woman happy! No, really! You just have to pay attention to what makes her smile and do that more often :) There it is. I told you the secret.
   I searched "woman" in the dictionary. It says it contains "the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women". People think being a woman means being sensitive, gentle, fragile and in need of protection. But they forget the warrior nature that we also have rooted deep within us. How else would we be able to go on through life after so many heartbreaks and lessons learnt one way or another, give birth and raise kids beautifully, take care of the household and still be wonderful women who deserve those flowers on the 8th of March? :)
   Becoming a woman is a gradual process. It's not like going to sleep a teen one day and waking up a woman the next one. It takes time for the seed of womanhood to grow inside and then bloom and have fruits on the outside. But we do know when we become women. It takes some time to acknowledge what that actually means and we're often confused because of all the duties and responsabilities society gives us at certain ages when we "should" be women. Some girls take more time than others. And that's alright. As long as they acknowledge that being a woman doesn't mean you're perfect and always in control. That you're allowed to have fears, to not know what to do next or how to solve a problem alone.
   We're all humans. Men and women. And the 8th of March should be about appreciating the women for both their gentleness and their fierceness. For that "je ne sais quoi" that makes them necessary in men's lives. At least that's why I would give my woman flowers if I were a man. Wouldn't you?

My second 365 days journey - Day 1. A new beginning

Dear diary,

   There comes a time when you realize life passes you by and the only things you left behind are some photos of meals you cooked and cute stuff you've seen. I'm right there. 

   Compared to all the past years, there's a wedding approaching in 2 months. My wedding. The one I always dreamt of planning and decorating in such a way to make all my dreams come true. I've always been passioned about weddings. I would LOVE to decorate weddings for a living... Mine is on its course. Almost everything's done and my main projects (2 albums I've been working on: one - 30 years of marriage for my parents and the other one - the second year of life for Carl and Aaron) are done as well. I feel I need a new challenge. Something to keep me on my toes. Something to make me open my eyes wide and look around searching for beauty. Something to make me talk to myself more and rediscover myself now, at almost 28 years of age....

   Minutes ago I was watching the wall above my computer. The one with many wonderful photos I took along the years that make me proud to have witnessed such amazing beauty and that I was lucky enough to capture it in pictures. And that's how I realized. I took all those photos long ago. And now I'm going on through life turning into a wife to be. One that is not even ready to have kids. One that desperately needs to find the artist within herself. So here I am. Starting another project. Another 365 days of daily photos and thoughts. And what day could be better chosen than 3 years and a half apart from the first project? :)

                Let's see what changed in all these years... Here's to a brand new journey!

Very excited,

D.