Day 259. Beyond the rain

   It's been raining on and off these days. And it wouldn't even be as annoying if it wasn't for the gloomy clouds and the sleepy mood everyone seems to be into. If it's sunny now, it will rain again in less than an hour. So it seems that Spring is back to being bipolar. And today we match. Actually, we're all like her. All the time. 

   We're fragile little beings that bend according to the wind. A simple word said at the wrong time or in the wrong way can shatter our whole world and yet, another one, can make us raise from the ashes. 

   Words mean everything to us. We're emotional beings and what we say is influenced by our thoughts and emotions. Our whole life is an EKG. Going up and down as the others talk to us and as we do our talking. And we're so influenced by the rain that our whole body goes to sleep wanting to avoid it. And the saddest part is that we're incapable of seeing beyond the rain. I, for one, no matter how much I try to make myself smile while rain is coming over me, I just can't. It's wrapping me in its gloom and it's telling me the saddest story I've ever heard. 

   So here I am, longing for the sun, for better times, for someone to teach me see beyond the rain:)

Day 167. Feels like heaven

   A heaven full of cute Teddy bears:) What a difference, huh? Been through hell and now I'm going through heaven. Bipolar much?:)) Naaah, that's just how life is... and the fact that today everything really worked soooo smoothly that going back to work was a real blessing:) How often can you say that?

   My lovely day started with a class of angels who are usually very energetic and not paying attention to the activities but who this time were so patient and willing to cooperate:) A real wonder. I was even able to teach them a poem along with some girls from Russia and later on they drew the bear from the poem sooo artistically and cute that it made my heart melt. And as I sat down and chatted with a boy while he was drawing, all of a sudden he stopped what he was doing and started telling me on a serious voice: "You should know I love you!":) They say those words so easily and I admire them for that because I know they really mean it:) And still... life's so wicked. Now they're nasty and they don't want to obey you, then, you sit down with them, listen to them, play with them and then they're suddenly your best friends. This is how I realized you first have to be your kids' friend and only then their superior. It doesn't matter if you're their teacher or their parent. They want you to set them free and try to understand their needs. But it's a real pain to make them understand your needs as well:) We're still working on that one, though. There's plenty of time left.

   All in all, today I noticed how much I missed my kids and how much I need them in order to be zen. I wouldn't be as happy among school kids or teens as I am now. I could never:) This is my destiny. To be forever surrounded by preschool kids no matter if that means being pissed and feeling useless from time to time. There's only so low you can go and then... you have to climb back:) Remember this, Dana, when you'll go down there again!

   You know what? Today I really am positive:) Not to mention how talking to a dear, old friend improved that state:) So, scratch that. Today I'm MORE positive!:D Maybe tomorrow I'm gonna be THE MOST positive:)