Looking back to 2014

Dear diary,

   2014 was one of the most beautiful years of my life, definitely the peak of my journey until now.
   At the beginning of it, I said:

   "I don't know about others, but I always tried to be the best person in the world and I often failed. And then guess what happened. I felt guilty. And responsible. Well this year, I'm done with being extra cautious. This year I'm learning from my past mistakes but I'm also thinking about me instead of putting the others first every single time. I'm going to buy what I feel like buying, spend time how I feel like and do whatever feels right. Out with the guilt, in with the inner peace."

   Unlike other years, in 2014 I did what I planned, but like any other year, it had its ups and downs. It was difficult precisely because a change doesn't come all of a sudden, and when you're used to always think about others thinking about YOURSELF feels selfish. I took an extreme decision, a life changing one that I never thought I would have to take. It was difficult, but I knew I had to do it. And after I did it I knew I had to go straight ahead and never look back. Of course that's kind of impossible. And here's where the guilt came in. I looked back and I felt bad for leaving broken stuff behind, but somehow I understood that this was MY journey and I kept going and going and going. And this is how I found Wonderland. The land of lifelong dreams coming true, the land of thousands of new experiences, of not only "beginning to bloom" but being in full bloom. 

   2014 was definitely the year when I knew for sure I became a woman. 

   One that knows what she wants and fights for it without regrets. One that not only thinks about others, but who considers her long term happiness too. One that keeps her inner child nourished and who protects it against anybody who thinks you're immature if you're childlike. This past year I surprised myself and the others. I went the extra mile. But I kept being the happy-go-lucky kind of girl everybody knows. 

   I was blessed to meet the love of my life. The one who completes me perfectly. The male improved version of me. He's my role model, my best friend, my rock, my reason to smile and dream and love, my fairy tale, my everything. It seems improbable that a love story like ours would happen. But I know for sure, we both know, that we're made for each other.

... and that's why we got engaged. When you find the One, you just feel it. So you don't need a lot of time to discover each other. You just know :)

   With my fiancé came a whole new world that I discovered step by step in 2014. The world of cooking as a passion, of opening a restaurant, of meeting a lot of wonderful people and trying out a multitude of new dishes (like I always wanted). Everything was so new to me and yet, so exciting.

   I was a camp teacher for the first time in my life during summer camp and I absolutely LOVED it!!! Will do it again this year. It was such an intense and emotional experience for me. I'll never ever forget it :)

    I had my first big exam teachers have and I passed it. Yay!

   I traveled around the country and to France and Switzerland for the first time. It was enriching, empowering, breathtaking. I also flew for the first time.

   I read more than I planned to. And I love that. I want to keep discovering amazing authors, to fall in love with new books.

   I overcame my fear related to Quilling and I started it as a new hobby. I now love to quill a birthday card or a special event card for my friends and family.

   I made 9 Advent calendars. More than last year. It was hard, but I loved every step.

   I went caroling with my family again after a lot of years.

   ... and I had the Christmas tree of my dreams. Again.

I spent New Year's Eve in a wonderful rush at Off the Wall. 

2014... I LOVED IT ALL!

In 2015 I want to be right here, right now and enjoy the journey that goes on.

With love and excitement,

D.

The Christmas miracle

Dear diary,

    I know. I've been absent waaay too long and I left you all alone without updating you about the most wonderful thing that happened to me lately: I got ENGAGED! That's HUGE! And for a girl, it's a dream come true. To find that perfect soulmate that makes you shiver while thinking that maybe this is all just a really beautiful dream. That person that makes you feel at home when you're with him, that accepts you exactly how you are, who tells you you're his dream girl and wouldn't change anything about you. That person that makes you feel the most loved being on Earth, the same one that you KNOW will always be there for you no matter what and whose purpose is to make you happy. The one you love more than you love yourself, the one that makes you want to be better, that challenges you and helps you grow.

   My happiness the last month, especially since I've been proposed to abroad, in the most wonderful scenery ever, is beyond words. I always wanted to travel, all around the world and meet all sorts of cultures, weird and joyful and colorful and happy, to meet people who would teach me how to appreciate life and live it like there's no tomorrow. But somehow I made peace with myself thinking that there would be a really dim chance that I get to do that (because in my head traveling was waaay too expensive). I was ok with it. I knew I could surf the internet and "travel" to wherever I wanted. At least that. But this month, everything just turned into reality. It's like one of those Disney princess movies where the prince comes and saves the day. Well, my prince did not only save the day, but my whole existence. He brought so many new things in my life and with those he made it complete. I was shown that if you REALLY want something, the Universe will give you EXACTLY what you want and even MORE. That's why sometimes it still feels surreal. But I better believe it, because it's true. And I deserve it. 

   But I've been talking about something else completely. One of the reasons why I didn't write to you is that November was yet again a really busy month because of... ADVENT calendars making! This year I made not 7 (like last year) but 9! 9 x 24 = 216 individual days, 6 types of different Advent calendars and less than a month to prepare them and get them all ready. It's been a continuous headache at some points, but yet again, a really wonderful outcome! 

I already exchanged 2 of them with some of my girls and they absolutely loved them! Can't wait to see what the others think! 

   Now... about the Christmas miracle. My mom and dad always thought that the fact that I was making Advent calendars was childish and way too artist-y for them. I felt judged but I didn't mind them. I just knew what I loved to do. Little did I know that today I would come home to a brand new Advent calendar bought for me by them. One that they actually planned for. They made tasks and put sweets in and actually sat together and thought about it. I can't express how happy this makes me feel. It's the best Christmas gift that they could ever give me. By doing this they express that even if our needs and interests are different, they believe in me and they want me to be happy and they want to do anything they can to MAKE ME HAPPY. I'm teary right now. I just am so thankful for everything I have in my life right now. And it's Thanksgiving in the US today so it's appropriate. I want to take this opportunity to THANK THE UNIVERSE AND GOD for giving me everything that I ever wanted. For believing in me, for nurturing me, for returning all the love that I have given. 

   In the end... what you give, you shall receive :)

Forever thankful,

D.