... THAT is the question! I saw "Now is good" today. It was about a girl who was going to die because of leukemia and as you would expect she had a list of things she wanted to do before dying. As I watched the movie I thought: "Would it be better to know that you're going to die or would it be better for it to happen so fast that you don't acknowledge it?" Up until today I thought I wanted to know. It was all about having time to prepare myself and the others and do all the things I wanted to but never had time/guts/money. But after seeing this movie and all the pain knowing involves, I don't know if I want to know anymore. I don't think I want to do all the things from a list I'd make and then, at the end of every day that brings me closer to the end, realize the ending and cry to sleep. I think this movie changed me and it wan't even an excellent one. It just made me realize I want something else. By now I did everything I dreamed to do, my people know me and I tell them I love them very often, I am at peace with myself and the world... so I'd rather not know. If I knew, I'd have to struggle, to fight for life and I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I have enough power inside me. So it's better if I don't know or feel it coming... though maybe in some years I will change my mind:)
