Day 267. Unchain my heart

   We're very sadistic. We like seeing people suffer. And most of all, we like seeing ourselves suffer. We chain our heart knowingly and then we complain about it and wish we were totally different persons. 

   We let them all come at us and destroy what we've built. We're weak. Small and weak. Naive and impressionable. Vulnerable and in need of affection. And we look for it everywhere. When, instead, we should be looking for it inside ourselves. 

   That's when we realize how to truly unchain ourselves and finally be free.

Day 266. Responsibility

   If yesterday I felt nervous for myself, today I experienced feeling nervous for others:) 

   Some of my friends had an important English exam and knowing I've helped them get ready made me feel responsible. It wasn't the usual maternal feeling though, but a weird, interesting kind of adrenaline of "can't wait to see how well they do":) Because in the end this is the time my work will pay off:) So I'm looking forward to the results.

   Interesting feeling. I bet I'll experience it again with my own future kids. And man, that'd feel awkward. Because when I feel nervous about something that's happening to me I guess I can control it better, but what about them? Yeah, in the end this is how a control freak I am:)

Day 265. I made it through

   The big day has arrived. I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. And they were kicking hard. I knew it was going to be OK because I love teaching, but my body must have thought otherwise. Or maybe it was just saying "omg, this is so exciting, let's see how it turns out":)

   There's one good expression to characterize today's experience: "Veni, vidi, vici." I got a 10 and I'm proud of it!:) The 10th graders were really OK, the role play I prepared for them turned out very, very funny and the whole class enjoyed it, they said they all learned something new and a kid even gave me a "good idea" feedback;) 

   So I guess I made it through again even if it was all short notice. Aaaand I found out again that I can do more than I think I can:) And so do you!

Day 264. Two is better than one

   I've always loved being surrounded by friends. I had friends from all over the world. Friends that came and stayed and some that went away. And I've learned something from each of them.

   It's funny though how life always follows its cycle. When someone dies, a new baby is born. When a friend goes away, another one comes to take his place. It happened to me today. 

   I had to part from a dear friend I've been around for 4 years and instead life gave me a new friend:) It's like it knows how much I need someone to share my life with, someone to learn from and someone to teach. 

   In the end, friends keep us alive. And we all know two is always better than one:)

Day 263. Which one?

   That awkward moment when you have so many things on your mind you don't know what to start with. The urgent or the important? The one I like or the one I have to? Should I ask around or should I just calm down and listen to the answers within me? 

   There's soooooo little time! In 30 hours I have to come up with a project from scratch. I have to teach 10th grade kids something awesome about the generation gap. 

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Day 262. The quiet before the storm

   There are stressed people out there. And careless people too. The careless ones swim through life knowing that somehow it will all be OK. The stressed ones always want to be the best. They want everything to be perfect and and they need to be sure they control every little detail of their life. 

   All my life I wanted to be careless. But I couldn't. What if I have something to lose? What if something will go wrong precisely because of my careless attitude? How do you get to be a whole new person when you wake up one morning and you realize you're already an adult? Can you still change something and in the end is it even worth trying? 

   I tried it today. My negative brain fought against me so much but in the end I prevailed. So I guess you CAN make a small change here and there if you really want to. In the end you're the master of your brain. Or is it vice-versa?

Day 261. The magic city

   I don't know about you, but I loooove my city. I always did and I always will. I'm not the type of person that can't wait to move to a different city/country. I like it here because I find everything I need. Many cultural events, good people, awesome friends and a lot of photographic material. Just like today:)

   This week we're celebrating the city and we're overwhelmed with so many events that we don't know what to choose. Of course I wanted to attend two of them that were taking place in the same time but since I'm not Hermione, I couldn't... so the confusion of the choice I had to make made me very frustrated. In the end I decided to leave out the Festival of Light this year and stay see the concerts in the Main Square. Ohhh, boy, I'm not sorry at all! I loved the bands (Les elephants bizarres and Grimus) even though I haven't seen them before and I barely heard about them. But all that energy, the good vibe and the awesome songs, they made me truly live. Then and there. And that's what came home with me. A good feeling, the feeling of "Man, that was awesome!" Awesome enough to keep me happy until the next magical moments in my life:)