I need you to need me

Dear diary,

   Life's short. We all know it. Before dying, some people like to leave behind some wise sayings they developed after an eventful life. I'm not there yet, but I found something pretty important already. After deep conversations with some friends and watching a lot of Breaking Bad lately, I realized that what we all really need in life is not money or any kind of earthly possesions but to be needed, appreciated, loved and valued just the way we are, without future alterations. Nobody wants to be borrowed, rented or stolen and then given back, sold or left on a forgotten shelf somewhere. We're not objects. We're human beings. We have a soul and needs. And the most important one is that we all need to be needed. We lose our grounds when somebody makes us feel replaceable, insignificant, not enough. When we don't match the expectations. And that's what breaks us all. Not being enough. 

   It's so easy to fall down and remain there for the rest of our life. So easy to keep finding reasons to not believe in ourselves when we could be looking for reasons to stand up and go on. Our brain is too complicated to comprehend. I gave up trying after I found out evolution plays a huge part of it. 

   Even though, no matter what happens, we'll always try to be a part of something, of someone's life. We're social beings, so don't blame us, it's in our nature. But what should we do when we feel we're not enough? I think we should take our time, as much as we need, licking our wounds in that deep, dark pit and when we're ready, stand up and try to give this weird, complicated maze a meaning. Find something that keeps us alive and a ball of yarn to unfold and play with while we're discovering the meaning of it all. Learn from our past mistakes and never give up even if we feel like doing it. Never stop playing the game even if it feels too hard to solve. We're here to grow wise, not to die mediocre. 

   We can do so much more than we think we can. We're so powerful and yet, we don't know it. Because we're afraid to see our true self. If we just stepped out of the shades and into the sun letting it fill us with its warmth, we'd see life in a whole different light. So why lay in the shades for the rest of our life? Why be afraid when there's so much more to experience out there? And so many reasons to love ourselves in the first place. Because, just like the old saying goes, if you like yourself the others will like you too. And don't we all like to be liked? :)

Hopeful,

D.